random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Meat Target]

Humpty Dumpty was a whore.

 

[Ogre Magi]

I’m a retard and I’m a niggerfaggotcunt Fucking REEEEEE dude.

 

[Blackhole]

I cheered on the Russians bombing the country I am trying to flee. I don't know why they don't like me?

Well, yeah, it's 100% needy and desperate and creepy. The male mind is not built to accept kindness or consideration or compassion and I actively reject it because it makes me feel weird in my tummy.

Beware the coomer, the faggot and the hedonist.

Fake. Farts.

I only like men with ODD and far apart eyes that moderate internet terrorist websites.

I might just be really naive and innocent but I'm not sure that's how humiliation fetishes work.

 

[Ken Barlow]

Life really has a good sense of humor.

 

[Meat Target]

Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.
Carved out of the earth, and there might be a mess.
But some folk prefer the carving up inside them,
to go all-along with their "flattering" dress.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Like I have said before, and please remember I am a completely sane and normal man...but I like to view the kiwifarms as a cute, magical little snowcapped animal village drawn by Richard Scarry, where every day when the sun rises any pain or sadness that happens to come over from the previous day is erased, and the cycle is begun anew. Each user is a different animal, and we can all murder one another and the victim or victims will surely wake up alive and well in no time. That's just how it is here. I have a list where I have assigned each of you your own animal.

 

[RACISM]

have you told your parents that you got doxxed by @RACISM yet?

 

[I'm Retarded?]

I farted ass after two full days of feeling corked solid. I could feel the painful pressure go up and down, up and down inside of my poop shoot. Suddenly I awoke to feel that rumbling sensation and decided I'd had enough: I let instinct take over. I lifted both legs as if I were about to perform the sacred duties of an expectant mother and almost immediately fired a Shotgun's Blast of a flatulence that exploded from my shivering manhole like the report of a fucking naval cannon. The shockwave must have stirred up some dormant memories because it was in that moment that I realized that somewhere along the way, against the advice of Geoffrey the Giraffe...I had grown up. I would never be a "Toys-R-Us Kid" ever again.

 

[MrJokerRager]

Imagine calling in an artillery strike knowing the guy shooting your direction can't do math.

Look, LaQuan. We know you graduated with honors from your high school because you scored 13% on your finals. But please, for the love of God, tell me they at least taught you how to push a fucking button on a calculator... you know, a calculator? You have one on your phone... yes, the same phone that lets you holla at Instagram bitches. Can you use that to type six times eight? What the hell do you mean "Math be racist?" How the fuck are we supposed to order you to go door to door forcing people out of their homes and confiscating their firearms if you can't even follow a simple direction like push buttons on a calculator... well I suppose you're right, there isn't a whole lot of math that's involved in hittin' a nigga's spot. Okay, you pass. Welcome to the United States Army.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

time to quote a shitload of thegooddoctor
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It was not stupid. You could make a thread on me but you are not going to find anything other than some random innocuous bullshit. Everything that I have said about the stupid fetish and ‘incest’ was obviously a joke. I made it all up, you can go looking for me on whether websites you think I use and find sweet fuck all there, think before you do anything.

I am probably one of the friendliest mofos on this website, don’t gaslight me Nigga.

Fuck off troll

Okay I think it’s time to log off now.

Stop it you perv honestly I bet you don’t even ever have had sex in life cause you is virgin lolol xd :3

Can you calm down please. It seems your the one getting mad here. If it doesn’t bother you than move on what difference does it make if some rando is simping for me? Just shows she’s got good tastes.

Uhh why are you horny for me anyway? I appreciate the gesture, maybe even a little curious but why exactly?

Shut the fuck up your just jealous she’s not simping for you Dyn. I have plenty of skill and I actually contribute to this website and had a job, unlike you who only ever trolls and is angry all the time. I don’t know why anyone bothers complimenting you if you don’t ever appreciate it. Maybe learn to be nicer to people and you might get a girl or two.

Yep I’d trap you in a room with me after a Mexican buffet so I could hotbox you with my farts

Ooo you bet! Us furries are vewwy proud of our stink! :3 (◠‿◠✿)

No I fucking won’t. Leave my family out of this I mean it. Make fun of me all you want but don’t insult my family ffs.

I have changed the subject, multiple times why are your tormenting me?

All those secrets are lies to fuck with you, have you ever thought that maybe sometimes people make shit up or tell lies on the internet to stir up shit? My Gosh thé humanity!!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=YWdD206eSv0

I was joking though about needing to wear adult diapers though. That shit is literal bullshit.

My god I look great

Imao you have friends?

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[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

any woman that takes it up the pooper is okay by my book, especially if she hates it

Amen. That's why I only do anal with women I'm planning on ghosting the next day.

Very right. I want sex so intense I end up as a junkie in Omsk after.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

@Matt Damon

Guys, I am farting up a veritable shitstorm tonight and can't figure out what I ate to cause this.

 

[Pillar of Autism]

That thing looks like a retarded kid who’s super proud of himself for wiping properly, even though he actually didn’t.

 

[Pedophobe]

I don't like comparing KF to cancer (it's more like a stroke)

Newfag is a state of mind

I feel like I live in Men In Black, but instead of aliens hiding amongst us, it's just pedophiles.

I guess you could say he emulated martyrdom.

Someone needs to check your hard drive.

 

[ScooterL]

How many threads are you guys going to shit up?

 

[AgendaPoster]

I will gladly go to bat for the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, albeit based on limited knowledge. It was absolutely about human sexuality in all its breadth.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I promise this is my last time derailing the thread today.

It is all goddam hilarious (ok, well except the deadbeat dad thing, that is kinda sad)

Nobody who unironically makes party cheese salads should be doing this "my body is a temple" bit.

ugh, this absolute creeper lives EXTREMRLY close to me. its gross seeing local newspapers on here.

I would NOT be trashing on other people's looks when you have a 13th century bowl cut, you autistic bitch. And wash your fucking bag. I can see the germs.

I got an invite for Bluesky and after spending 30 minutes looking around, I can confidently say this place is infested by trannies and furries.

Shrapnel is probably less dangerous than half the things he cooks.

"Roblox has facilitated more child abuse than any public company in history."

I have always been envious of Americas patriotism.
Lack of assimilation and love for a country and you end up like Canada. No one really wants that trust me bro.

a plea deal for the federal charge of animal crush pornography creation

Glowies are persistence hunters.

May the horse be with her, in all three holes.

Imagine slapping some guy that hard that his kids get traumatized hahahaha what a chad.

Why would anyone want to eat any part of a vegan, let alone their ribs?

Thought this was worth discussing somewhere as people are sperging the fuck out about it on there and I think it's funny

*Seething in the distance*

 

[Autistic Joe]

Smells fishy to me.

I mean it is Hilary we're talking about

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Paging Sapphire Crimson Claw, demon fucking on the astral plane in isle three...

 

[RACISM]

This transcends autism.