random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[JustSomeDong]

Spooky Scary Skeletons is a Racist Dogwhistle:

The narrator says they’re “misunderstood”, but refuses to socialize with them, and frequently talks about how they’re noisy and driving him crazy.


“They’ll sneak from your sarcophagus and just won’t let you be.”

“They’ll smile and scrabble slowly by and drive you so insane.”

“…shout startling shrilly screams”

“Bags of bones seem so unsafe…”

It’s essentially “get out of the cities”, Halloween edition.

 

[Kittenwaffen]

He's not wrong I just wish he'd put on a shirt.

 

[Meat Target]

What in the fuck is going with you Americans? I keep hearing about budgets and government shutdowns and collapse. What niggardly shit did your fucking retarded politicians do NOW?

 

[behavioral swamp thang]

There are almost endless layers here and the writers did a brilliant job in creating him. Steve Urkel is perhaps the greatest mythological inspired villain in modern pop culture.

Essentially, Steve Urkel is a manifestation of an ancient African trickster spirit, sent to punish the Winslow family for their lack of respect of their ancestors.

Many people believed Steve Urkel "jumped the shark" when he went to space. space throughout mythology has been since as a void of nonexistence, a holy ether, the heavens, etc. It is symbolism and pretty much a direct slap in the face that Steve Urkel exists outside of the Earthly realm.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

@Shidoen try Etsy, it's where a lot of woo makers hang out.

what is a woo maker?

 

[1Tonka_Truck]

a hose is a water pump.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Dick falling off is actually a fairly common recurring dream among men but in the case of the pooner thats actually a legitimate concer as it is something that can happen to her for real.

Wait did a troon just walk into this thread and hand over an L personally ?

Press F to enjoy prison.

What’s he gonna do next? Publish another book to modest acclaim? Hang out with real life friends instead of endlessly screeching on the bird app?

Pathetic.

He didn't say hammer time though so it's not legally binding.

Just yanking your chain. it's what I do.

Did James Joyce ever create a character as deep and nuanced as Jar-Jar Binks? Did Feodor Dostoyevsky have a protagonist as invincible, flawless and loveable as Galadriel from that truest realisation of Tolkien's vision, The Rangz of Powah? No they did not, tiny baby stalker suckling infant toddler child, they did not.

I didn't think cum brownies could've been topped but here we are.

He cant be pretty intelligent if hes shoving random trash up his asshole.

He's not clearing his search history either. This kid is dumb as a sack of rocks.

Your son isn’t dildoing his ass to “hot bewbs.” He’s dildoing his ass to a discord predator

Sir, your son is fucking the cat.

So, you just outted your 14 year old son being a power bottom before he even starts high school

Sanity has preva-

"Son we won't give you a dildo, that's enabling, but here's a condom to put over a cucumber you ram up your rectum, germs and all that"

I'm cautiously optimistic. Let's say I'm about 3% optimistic. The government has a billion different ways to fuck this up.

Rumors about the death of Kiwifarms have been greatly exaggerated.

Lol imagine being too fat to troon out.

I do my streaming from dodgy Russian pirate sites, thank you.

You're not non-binary, you're just obese to the point where you've become androgynous.

I mock the shit out of these idiots who die like this because if I didn't, I think I would go insane with anger. The eternal cope of the anglo, just laugh, because if you cry you will not stop.

A man killed in a place named Malcom X Boulevard? I am shocked I say, shocked.

Look at that hair. He deserved to be stabbed.

What is the world coming to when its not even safe for trannies to molest children?

 

[Cumeatsioner Gordon]

making it ideal for smoking crack

 

[Oxyjen]

You are going to space prison, stalker alien child.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I've owned at least four different cats in my lifetime and none of them under any circumstances have licked my crotch area.

 

[not william stenchever]

I do not expect to be a suspect in her disappearance

 

[Doxmatix]

From King Cobra's livestream yesterday:

“People are dying of starvation and aids in Africa and I’m sitting here aids-free eating free pizza. How is this trolling?”

 

[Generic Anime Girl]

"oh yeah FUCK YEAH, read me Thomas the Tank Engin--IM CUMMING!!!!"

Let’s hypothesize autistic porn scenarios until we save the white race

"Did you buy my season pass, baby? Mm, yeah...mmph... Buy those gun skins, yeah...that's right. Ooooh! Ahhh! Here comes the big update!! Spread your harddrive!!!!"

 

[Seafarer]

Do you mind sharing what your specific area of expertise and level of education is?

(In reply)

He's incredibly autistic.

 

[Vott]

 

[Gentlebastard]

Getting downvoted on reddit usually means you said something sensible that the vast majority of sane people would agree with and that only is wrongthink to pedditors.

I believe Full Screen DVDs are a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

It is a shame that the Napster generation did not pass down that wisdom unto their children. In a perfect world, millions of zoomers must seed.

I love prisons, they're always so heckin diverse and progressive with their representation!

Deport niggers. Put niggers onto an airplane. March niggers onto a boat. Store niggers in shipping containers. Fire niggers from a cannon pointed at Africa. Order niggers over the border at gunpoint. Board niggers upon submarines. Slice niggers with a katana to make efficient use of space.

I choose to believe, because it's funnier that way.

One notable group chat is the "ama" chat, where if you ask jack anything he gets angry and deletes your messages.

Trust takes years to build and seconds to break. You don't deserve to be believed. Suck one cock, you're a cocksucker forever.

Imagine your last moments on Earth being spent on your phone trying to mock the Dilbert guy.

Normies tend to feel bad for retards and don't enjoy laughing at them like we do.

I'm no psychologist, I'm just a sperg on the internet that notices patterns.

KNEEL before the limestone butthole.

I figured it was going to be a sculpture of two gay niggers rutting like feral beasts but I set my artistic expectations too high.

Granny doesn't give a fuck, she needs to go to her anual bingo nights, even if it means killing a few pedestrians.

Call me a centrist, but I think there is a middle ground between neglecting your dog and fucking it.

She trademarked her name; somewhere in a parallel universe, a doppelganger is getting a cease and desist letter.

I'm sorry, but the woman asking "Are you ok?" to a man laying as a crumpled Yamcha pile in a pool of his own blood got a laugh out of me because of how absurd it was.

"Kīwī Fāmzu: za maintsu ofu intānetto kureshi"

Why do you think there's a trans genocide going on?

If fucking only.

People who would neglect and mistreat an animal as cute as the alpaca have to be ontologically evil.

 

[Ken Barlow]

How does she continue to lack the self awareness NOT to post about her vagina on Facebook?

 

[Stan]

I know the n-word is your favorite word, but you really need to check yourself. I'm the least black person I know.

 

[Panzerfrau]

The gamete between a sperm and an egg would presumably be a sperg, and goodness knows we've seen more than our share of spergs here.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Gentlemen, I give you the medieval version of the Navy Seal Copypasta:

What slanderous attacks hast thou thrown against my good name, thou contemptible wench? Whereas I have risen even unto the foremost rank in the King's Guard; whereas I have on many an occasion partaken in clandestine crusades against the Saracen and the Moor; whereas by mine hands have fallen Turkish barbarians numbering some fifteen score; whereas I am most skilled in the ways of the primate boxer; whereas I am the premier marksman amongst all of Our Majesty's knights: Thou art in my sights but yet another quarry. The Lord be my witness, I shall smite thee as no-one under the sun hath heretofore been smitten. Dost thou deign to fancy thyself secure to cast thy spittle upon my face from behind the Spider's Veil? Then thou hast wandered into grievous error. Yea, even at this very moment, I am sending word across the land to my fellow Varangians, and the provenance of thy scrivenings shall in short time become known unto me. A veritable maelstrom of vengeance is upon thy gates, thou wretched worm, which surely shall obliterate thy loathsome pretension of life. Truly, thou art foregone, child. I move as swift as the wind, and with mine own two hands I may at my pleasure slay thee in any of thirty and five score modes. For verily as I am a master in the pugilistic arts, even so doth the manifold armory of the Kiwi Free Company lie at my beck and call, which in its plenitude of power I shall not delay to burn down thy village, that thy fœtid flesh may no longer pollute this land with its presence, thou pitiful putrescence. Would that thou couldst have foreseen what great wrath thou hast by thy "brazen" jocosity summoned upon thyself! Perhaps thou wouldst have rather kept shut thy filth-spewing mouth. But neither couldst thou thus foresee, nor didst thou take heed of prudence, and thou art now reaping what thou hast sown, thou accursed simpleton. I will excrete rage all round about thee, wherein shalt thou be consumed. Thou hast quarrelled thy last, child.