random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Poonocchio]

You Will Never Be A Woman, You Will Never Be Able To Tell Crimson From Scarlet, You Will Never Have As Many Cones In Your Eyes.

 

[Seafarer]

Fuck [the FNaF movie]. Seriously it was so fucking shit. It was so garbage the twink cosplaying as foxy that I brought with me stopped sucking my cock and left halfway through. And as I sat there with my dick out everyone began laugh and call me a faggot while they threw popcorn at my balls. Thanks a lot Scott, really ruined my night.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I can get, like, really fucking big, but it doesn't actually do anything.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

Can someone remind me the difference between an asshole, pisshole and fuckhole? I don’t remember, but now I have to know! Thanks, fellow ladies!!!!

 

[Cronkle]

They also want to fuck deer.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

I genuinely believe this man gets sexual pleasure from the concept of a unipolar world under the strong watchful gaze of NATO.

If he's married he absolutely thinks about joint military exercises while fucking his frumpy Austrian wife.

 

[Meat Target]

This is further proof that deep inside every feminist is a repressed woman who just wants to be slapped on the ass and told she's beautiful.

I mean, me too but I’m a bulky guy. Would not mind a good ass slap and say that my box squat game is on point and I’m a beautiful bald nigga who need no hair.

 

[Dr. Butt]

nobody fucking sounds like that you insufferable trenchĝenter weirdo

 

[Aunt Carol]

I wonder if this goes the other way too, and when men say things like “I’m going hunting with the guys, want to come along” or fishing or bowling etc they aren’t just having a bunch of buttsex and trying to hide it by making up boring cover activities. Like what if sometimes they actually go fishing?

 

[Betonhaus]

Filthy casuals will not understand this.

 

[Skitarii]

Allahu Achtung!

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

Imagine being Canadian and your future is being the internal organs of rich Chinese.

 

[Sawamura Simp]

NO DONT TAG ME NO NO NO

Medical science was a mistake. Nice going Hippocrates you piece of shit. We could have lived in ignorance.

Yes. Because a thread about not fapping is going to become a place where no one powerlevels.

No one invited me for the Mormon sperging? I'm shocked and saddened.

What is this? Mental illness bingo?

 

[Gentlebastard]

please enjoy this shitpost I made

Nova scotia is all half-breed fishmen and methadone babies we don't expect much from them

So schizos are actually hearing the Government laser-beam thoughts into their heads? Neat!

I'm far more worried about what was lost by the Finno-Korean Hyperwar than the loss of the Library of Alexandria.

It's always a safe bet to bet on Fatty's universal incompetence at literally everything.

History is a long chain of people being assholes to other people who were assholes to them before.

He looks like he's turning into a lesbian singer/songwriter, I swear

Living a chaste life is honorable. Calling yourself asexual on the internet is retarded.

I'm getting mad at the internet.

The t-rex suit stays on during sex.

Keep fucking with waiters.
See what happens to your food.

It is known that one can confuse belly rolls and boobs in the heat of the moment when hooking up with chunkier chicks. That said, I've never groped a fat man's chest, so I can't compare.

Anyone who types “my dude” on the internet should be neutralized permanently.

If you want a fun conversation, ask a Black guy about water filters. The more Hotep-inclined, the better.

There are many reasons as to why prisons should be set up with drop in execution centers.

This is among the top five.

i was already racist but that made me at least 200% more racist

What do you want them to do, mate?
They can't unhurt your feelings.

0/10, needs a miserable looking hollowed out squash getting farted into by an eggplant next to it

Never thought I'd ever end up hoping for something to get vandalized yet here I am today.

It’s literally worse than LA in Predator 2 and is on par with night city but without the cool cybernetics. Worst. Dystopia. Ever.

 

[Aunt Carol]

There needs to be another inquisition. How does one even start an inquisition.

At the end of the day breasts are no different than the red tint on a baboons ass or those crabs with one giant fucking claw.

its absolutely possible to have a normal adult sized head

 

[Pissmaster]

If you're thinking about self harm, reach out for help. There's always another solution, even if you just murdered 18 people.

 

[Poonocchio]

Josh's life is already over, farmer. Enjoy TOR.

As a side note I had to search for "neck" on this thread because I couldn't remember his @, and accidentally searched all of the Farms for "neck" - and that's how I discovered we have a board for discussing George Lucas' Weird Neck. Just fyi.

 

[Hitman One]

"You will never be chief. You have no tribe, you have no buffalo..."

 

[Skitarii]

I hope Lowtax is rolling in his grave now that the word "goon" has completely lost its original meaning.

 

[ScooterL]

Don't hate me because I'm erudite.