random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[102]

This kind of reads like the "you will never be a real woman" copypasta.

You will never be a real toilet, stalker. Enjoy prison.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Damn right. We all know how to eat pussy, it’s not rocket science.

Yes a homophobic dog is definitely a thing,” said a third Redditor, who was convinced. “My neighbour once had to get rid of his Golden Retriever due to its bigoted behaviour.”

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

To answer the original redditor, it isn't that he's ashamed that you're gay, he's ashamed that you're somebody's bitch.

 

[Angry New Ager]

The pic is a lie, she's not a princess being tempted by fabulous desserts, she's sheetcaking in front of her dog.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

An inordinate amount of my cognitive energy is consumed by an anti-fedposting filter.

 

[Tablet County]

Watching John with the machine, it was suddenly so clear. The Fuckinator would never stop. It would never leave him. It would never hurt him, never shout at him, or get drunk and hit on his best friend, or say it was too busy to spend time with him. It would always be there. And it would die to please him. Of all the would-be girlfriends who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only one who measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.

imagine being so horrible a sexless pattern recognition program is more appealing than you

My dog has literally shaken in my presence before (he's afraid of thunderstorms). I just cuddle him closer and pet him till he calms down.

go on pilgrimage to auschwitz and pray to the spirit of heinrich himmler while repeatedly chanting "six million more.... six million more..." until you get arrested

 

[Useful_Mistake]

"Listen, just because our governments are behaving like asses doesn't mean we have to."

youre always squinting, and it makes me wonder what youre up to

Wuhan Gang represent

Quite the contrary, I love China

Fucking barbarian midgets with Napoleon complexes

I just hate people who look different from me.

Sell cheap plastic shit on Amazon

Move to Palestine.

If they got your foreskin your fate is sealed.

Easy. Just stop believing in pajeet shit like reincarnation. Now you don't have to worry about being reincarnated as a Jew, since you're unable to be reincarated in the first place.

Josh is right, NOT eating your house pets is a sign of civilized white person.

You can't reincarnate into a being that is inherently soulless

Whats the deal with all the unfunny faggots today?

You lose because your a faggot so you lose by default

nö nüt növëmbër?

The musslim s are faggot lib tards that wax and wain on rhetorical tricks of language.

 

[Meat Target]

I draw the line here: The Keffals Fart Porn stays up.

 

[Gentlebastard]

"Why won't the people I shit on work with me anymore?"

God damnit Pooner, that's the most feminine school shooter manifesto I've seen

Nothing like a critical punch of despair to the gut to end your day. I joke to myself that we're all just pieces of a ruling power's chessboard and that true freedom is mostly theoretical but hey it's not that bad, right? Yes, it isn't that bad. It's worse.

Canada is the world's second choice. It's the place you go to when you can't find a way to get an American green card. It's literally the Pepsi of countries

My wife works with a Ukrainian refugee. Apparently, her and her husband regret leaving their wartorn shithole because life in Canada is actually worse than in living in a country that is actively being invaded.

He'd weep tears of joy in betweeen his hentai cooming sessions.

>as a non-jew
Sounds like a pretty Jewish thing to say.

In a show that has 2+ commentators per segment and thousands of segments, you will inevitably get a few uninformed or shit takes. Just like Null saying a bunch of sensible things on MATI but having a spergout about cheese one day.

Oh no! I'm gunna get hate crimed!

[cheap catholic joke omitted for clarity]

You were abandoning a boundary between degeneracy and health and you chose degeneracy.

Reminds me of Cassandra Peterson seeing what she thought was a whale on the beach only for it to be Divine sunbathing.

From Dear Feeder, on the Telegram channel:

This includes the commercial for-profit tranny fart porn video by Keffals, called "Queen's Fart Throne".

and

Also, in particular with the thread about Keffals, that pornography is commercial and categorically cannot be considered revenge pornography. He sold tranny fart porn himself of his own volition. Please feel free to watch it and see for yourself.

Thanks,
Josh.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Can we make a movie called the Game of Farts in which everyone wants to fart on the queen's throne but a grey dragon who goes rapidly blind while yelling "I am a woman!" wants to burn it down?

 

[Croaking Spider]

Least delusional tranny. At least Pinocchio actually had wood.

 

[Ewan McGregor]

If I need to die in defense of the tranny fart porn, I'm ready to die in defense of the tranny fart porn.

 

[Moths]

"I draw the line here: The Keffals Fart Porn stays up."

 

[Kirk Van Houten]

imagine being some random arkansas dirtbag wannabe-rapper and some girl on FB is like "heyyyy" and you respond "sup mama" and she's like "imma give my baby yuor last name"

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Thankfully, we're not black so she never once threatened to season our genitals.

I do not want to see your dick or clit on my phone. Keep that for the racecar bed.

I got dogcucked with the prompt "pitbull kaiju".

delight in the oubliette, scoundrel

Florida man who spent his adolescence in a single-parent household in his room coding mods for a block game for free eating microwave burritos and sugar water eventually gets enough donations for saying nigger to go outside and try real food, assumes this life experience is representative of the average American and average European. Tale as old as time.

Discovered the recipe for YouTube success: Click Next Highlight -> Right click -> Save video as

The apostle Paul would be ashamed.

"cmon Bubba, stop this" (pause, tone shifts to the insincere) "it ain't that bad"

Did this degenerate lose a hundred pounds on Keto just so he could fit in his wife's panties?

and the mention of stuffed animals... rest in piss indeed.

looks like one of those male beauty pageant contestants, or what a nun would draw if you asked her to draw a gay porn star.

First they came for the fart porn, and I did not care, for I was not a fart fetishist.

 

[Pedophobe]

when I come back I am going to shit over all of you

Libtards have cheese to fill the hole where their relationship to God should be

I was prepared for the world being cruel and evil. I wasn't prepared for it also being this gay and retarded.

 

[Tablet County]

If you can't even stay on topic (a big ask for a small-brained inferior female, I know) how about you just shut your dirty cockslot and post some baked goods or something instead, you hysterical low-iq prostitute.

What sort of baking are we talking about?

 

[Meat Target]

Rape men to death with rusty pipes

 

[keytar]

Can I ask trans/non-binary Twitter for some gender-affirming messages from strangers? This is the first time I've been intentionally misgendered since I realized I was fae (sometimes feminine, never masculine). I'm hurting. Physically, too, because I'm disabled.

- This crazy bint

 

[Nigger Caviar]

I'm gay.