random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

We call them Weapons of Color, sir. Just because they have more melanin and a polymer composition instead of a rustic wood finish doesn't mean they're any less traditional. #notallrifles.

jokes on them, my pin number is "password"

You are misinformed, it HIS GARBAGE. Not someone else's. He cobbled that worthless trash with his own cloven hooves. You wouldn't understand! How could you? You're just a baby infant child! Its just pig things.

I use 1337 for all my 4 digit codes because it's so cringe that any potential attacker would think I'm retarded and have pity on me.

Not today Satan. I'm not curious enough to watch that, but I appreciate the answer.

The first rule of Pigman club is never learn anything, ever. The second rule of Pigman club is never grow as a person unless you grow in clothing sizes.

My intention was to offend him deeply.

Sorry Yidchuds, but Dua Lipa is gonna be the Queen of Greater Albania and she's gonna kick out all the kikes from Tirana to Pristina.

When you take a look in the mirror and a baboon ass glares back at you

The entire poly thing is comprised of over-educated midwits trying to intellectualise into oblivion the fact that they want to fuck other people but still keep their poor spouse along for the ride.

I've said it before but at least people cheating on each other don't try to create an entire sollipsistic meta-field of reproductive health science around the fac that they're horny, bored, and selfish.

 

[Haffhart]

LITERALLY SHAKING AS MY BOTTLE CAP ROLLS UNDER THE SEAT

 

[Aunt Carol]

Retardation, like faggotry, is a constant in the human condition.

 

[Asian tech support]

You have to have a whole verified and maintained paper trail if being developmentally delayed is going to be your lifelong career.

Lou is too stupid to be retarded.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

are you talking about not having a girlfriend
or are you talking about hitting on milfs on tinder
or are you talking about reality tv shows

i'm confused

 

[CansOfCant]

There, you learned something about fish sperm today. Isn't the farms great.

 

[Drip Torch]

Do they watch "Ow! My Balls!" too?

 

[LurkTrawl]

“Our traps are sometimes broken as raccoons are also desperate to live,” the official said.

Invasive species is a racist term, please use migrants, thank you

 

[Rotollo 2]

You might be the internet's niggers, but I'm not. My fate is not tied to Josh Moon's wallet.

 

[Drip Torch]

Whenever I try to have a conversation with someone it dies.

What is the secret to human interaction?

 

[Gentlebastard]

Basically she's given herself granny vag. And it's only going to get worse.

Free tip: buy the coffin now so your family can save a ton of money after they throw you off that fucking roof.

Good grief this essay is fractally wrong the more I read the more wrong it is.

The meaty flaps were floppy, the gunt was jiggly, the bingo wings flapping. Venus of Willendorf with the thicc sliders to maximum.

There's a name for a man who "refuses to accept" that he's really a troon. The word is "man."

These people have no sense of humor, you'd think someone would make a joke about the "true parasite of society" being the wheelchair person.

Looks like she lives in Florida. I hope she gets eaten by a gator.

This made me fucking cackle like some old timey wicked witch

 

[Brain Power]

If you had to have a belly button on your dick, would you rather have an innie or an outie?

These are the philosophical questions of out age.

 

[Chuck McGill]

I would remove my penis if it meant all women stopped existing.

 

[Drip Torch]

I’m okay. Still waiting for the beer bottle to fall out.

 

[GunCar Gary]

We have over 800 thousand members and they are all sharing white dick pics.

 

[Poonocchio]

At this point the flag of the united states should be a field of prolapsed anuses over a rainbow.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

The sentence is syntantical nonsense unless it specifically means kill their presumably female mothers and significant others, who didn't do anything

 

[Uncle Buck]

Don't let the chairorrists win!

 

[Harm]

Lucky Star is a product of the time: there are references to anime popular at the time with the VA of the MC being the same as the MC for Suzumiya Haruhi no Yutsu. That's the main reason I checked out Lucky Star in the first place. But unless you're familiar with those works then LS is somewhat shallow, even with context. It juts makes references to other anime and not well. While most of my irl friends were into it I could never finish it since I found it boring (and that scene made me drop it entirely). I've watched SoL shows like Azumanga but those had actual comedy

You are such a fag it is unreal

 

[Meat Target]

If it weren't for Reagan you wouldn't have fan favorites like Terry Davis sperging out on live streams bitching about how based he is because he found a way to put how many dead niggers he can fit in a cramped wood shed or something.