random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

"No black pajamas child, my squad did not just walk right into your ambush. Those are just your delusions. Enjoy Hòa Ló Prison."

What exactly is the “legal limit” for cocaine consumption?

Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Parasocial Cucking Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha

Look we just need more cars sliding on black ice into crowds of cyclists to prove my point.

Hey I stole that first

 

[BirdUp]

Nothing says 2SLGBTQIA+ more than a piercing that makes you look like a cow.

 

[Hitman One]

[deranged circus music drags on]

 

[Meat Target]

Can you imagine being stuck in a hot metal box for 3 months with some chick who hasn't had the chance to scoop out her gash with a wet cloth?

 

[Tablet County]

Fun fact: no matter how cool you think you are, you are SOMEBODY'S lolcow.

 

[Pedophobe]

Too much Star Trek can do bad things to people's brains.

What attracts mods to transgenderism and mental illness at such staggeringly high rates?

Everyday is a new horror on the farms.

What a terrible day to be literate.

Lolcow status is the only thing he's ever really had to work for his entire life, and by god has he excelled.

 

[Train Operator]

If you’ve never once pondered the sexual proclivities of fictional tank engines while watching Thomas getting coupled up with Annie & Claribelle then I’m sorry you’re such an aberration against God.

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

It is now ILLEGAL to imply that playing Celeste turns you into a tranny on Reddit.

Bullying is still alive and well and in some cases even promoted, the targets simply changed from wimpy computer nerds to tumblr artists who didn't draw the Steven Universe characters fat enough.

"Basically, it allows me, in those spaces, to reframe my incontinence as something that makes me “cute” and “adorable"

Might as well call it the “Happy Good Time Crotch Destroy Club.”

"It is literally that scene from Borat where the disabled man they keep in a cage is tormented by a woman who shows him her pussy shouting 'You will never get this! You will never get this!'. That is literally my entire fucking life."

 

[Egress]

the $3000 dollar snack budget for his kids makes a lot more sense when you factor in the blow for the 8 year old

 

[Faceless Whore]

Jesus you guys really are the embodiment of biting the hand that feeds you. I’ve done nothing but try to do the right thing and all you guys do is try belittle and berate me. If we have common interests start acting like it! How about thank you for actually giving shit! Also check the dates of when EDP talked about Chris Tyson and when I first started making these kinds of videos. Yeah half a year difference because I didn’t want the attention from that.

If I actually gave a shit? Keep hammering the one guy that actually tried to do something about this. You guys are fucking geniuses! Holy shit! We agree with this guy! Let’s treat him like he’s our enemy and tear him down instead of actually making sure this goes smoothly. You guys are the literal definition of detractors that do nothing but bring others down even people you agree with. I don’t know what you guys suffer from but it’s something bad and I’ll remove from this and continue on my own because you guys are no help or just down right rotten. I would rather gone back in the gas chamber and get tear gassed again then speak with you miserable people.

 

[Poonocchio]

" - I have a naturally heavy voice."

Even Kevin's voice is fat.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

It will never cease to amaze me that the owner of this site making a mild joke created a chain of events that led to two different human beings being brought into this world but also led to a retarded man from California to throw his entire life away in a dumb revenge quest (which he somewhat failed at achieving).

Proof that @Null is indeed the supreme Ooperator.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

"Mommy? Dadd- I mean, Mommy Two? Why are there so many almost naked men here?"
"You see honey that's because they like to FUCK each other in the ASS and SUCK COCK and that's beautiful, don't you love it?"

 

[Gentlebastard]

Is this another one of those cases where liberals are more racists than the people they claim are racists lmao?
"This goblin in a fictional story is a magic banker because goblins are known to be greedy."
"This penny pinching, ratfaced fuck is obviously meant to be a Jew. You're so antisemitic!"

"Rape is wrong and should be punished."
"Why do you hate black people?!"

Five years ago, nobody would have believed this is not a comedy character.

Hopefully in another five nobody will again.

Ya know I am starting to legit worry the pig is killing my sense of humor. He is getting belly laughs out of me for the pettiest shit imaginable while other cows are mainlining cocaine into their children or having their deaths explicitly mourned by putin or pissing away 200k overnight in twitch gambling and getting nary a smirk out of me

the mayor doesn't want to talk to someone whose questions are variations of "why aren't you a fag and why is your shit all retarded?"

He seriously think a newborn will bully him?

 

[JustSomeDong]

@Prism42 you shouldn't have wished upon that monkey's paw.

Oh, wait, you're a zoomertard. Lemme translate that:

Monkey's paws ain't bussin fr fr no cap you finna be a lolcow fr

 

[retard strength II]

"for juneteenth someone should send me burger money"

 

[D_Tractor]

Everyone posting in the KingCobraJFS thread has their own sweet and unsweet teas to struggle with.

 

[MetokurGroomedMe]

rather than just laughing at the accelerator getting stuck on, or maybe pointing out the issues with pure digital motor systems, they have convinced themselves that since Ford returned from Hyperborea with the Yakubian Automobile, you have never been able to engage the accelerators and the brakes at the same time.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Skimming through the second part there's a part where Vegeta becomes a cow and Goku drinks Vegeta's milk and then Vegeta starts eating shit?

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

I would buy the entire Internet and ban it.

source: i fucking love hotdogs.

They started in the slave trade and when they couldn't do that any more, they branched out into furniture stores.