random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[monstrous bubo]

I respect your position as masturbation law enforcement

 

[Aunt Carol]

I am in western civilization and that collapse will fuck me as hard as it fucks everyone else, and I'll be too busy foraging for food to have time to point and laugh.

 

[Kulee Baba]

Fucking rat BossmanDrew moving in and upsetting the delicate Bossman ecosystem

 

[stupid frog]

It's ironic because they'll never be cloned by a sinister corporation to birth alien-human hybrid babies even if they do get cadaver wombs.

YWNBCBSCBAHHB

 

[Cherry Eyed Hamster]

Nigga, you want to fuck a dinosaur.

 

[Tablet County]

You invoked Mutt's Law on your 2nd post ever. That might be a new record.

You glow in the dark, nigger.

Because you're so enlightened

Xhank xou I xam 100 steps cloxer to climbing xe polixical ladder to xuck Xi Jinping's xiny xock.

the government, culture and media landscape already represents us so why would we bother when we can just chill out and make fun of all the weirdo barbarians fighting in the streets over twitter bans and black star wars characters.

Unga Bunga tribe insist Bunga Unga tribe steal mammoth meat and need deaded.

 

[SlaanyChaser]

Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

I see they finally added Brianna Wu to the game.

Good call.

I was cleaning under my bed today and found some vaginal depth! found some more in the cupboard over the stove!

Almost like HP Lovecraft was right about everything.

I hope next time you lick a spic's asshole some of that fent they were carrying up it kills you.

in the cases you're talking about, it tends to be along the lines of "those who act retarded for money ought be careful, lest they become retarded for real."

Any big titty himbo could do his business model lol.

GOD I HATE IT WHEN I GO TO TAKE A PISS AND GOD REMOVES BOTH THE TOILET AND DOOR FROM MY BATHROOM SO I SCREAM AND CRY TILL I FALL UNCONSCIOUS.

By calling Sonichu his son, because during the 'Sonichu possession' stint, he pretended to be Sonichu and always referred to himself in the third person as 'mama' which was really fucked up.

For Jeanette. Jazz would be equally happy drawing mermaids and vaginas on the walls. Jeannette wanted a Harvard degree out of it.

I don't know why people are complaining about some tar-baby playing Juliet. Gang killings, revenge killings, teenagers doing stupid shit and dying, innocent bystanders getting caught in the crossfire... Romeo and Juliet is just ghetto life before worldstar.

Caden found the piss drawer.

Pretty sure posting on Kiwifarms is analogous to an autism diagnosis.

Jamaica is an island, similar to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. It's not on the African continent and is not African.

 

[Tablet County]

apparently the nigger claims he was a paratrooper, a private investigator and bodyguard and he is still mad about social media

A bigger universe means potentially more retards to laugh at

What if earth is the lolcow of the universe?

Opioids, as in opium? I looked it up online. Pills of some kind.

2nicorn and Hathaway 2: Flash Harder will be out when they're out. Gundam has no set schedule.

I never thought I'd live to see the day that Colbert and Stewart would join us over here in the Nazi Party v2 (2024 limited release edition). All I can say is, if they are now Nazi's traitor patriots, this party just got a lot lamer.

 

[Gentlebastard]

God damn, my favorite thing about KF is the way it can just will anything into existence.

I respect your position as masturbation law enforcement, so I'll quit while I'm ahead.

Who the hell says he wants to relate to her anyway? Did you ever think that maybe he's dating her because she's young and hot and he just wants hot steamy sex with her?

She also looks like she has respiratory allergies. Hawt.

He doesn't know how to use the three seashells lol

Then why are women always scissoring in between the lingerie pillow fights at their sleepovers?

Checkmate, you fucking bigot.

It popped up in my YT feed as a recommend and I thought it was new.

I think that's YouTube telling you to get on a diet or something, it's a sign of worse things to come, an evil omen.

Than you, insane Twitter tranny, for giving me such wonderful insight into your ilk.

We must secure our non cringe existence and a future for sane users immediately.

(always say hi to birds who hang out while you're drinking a cup of coffee)

If I see a single one of you brain rotted, pretencious, wannabe anime character creeps near any child, ever, I'm turning you into gender neutral mince meat and feeding you to the fucking dingoes.

This is the look of a man who was assured for years by his online hugbox that women would accept him with fawning gratitude the minute he put on a dress and a stupid headband. Only to be met with the same mixture of fear and disgust his creepy self has received from women his whole life.

Disappointment, bitterness, rage. It's beautiful.

Though Sylveon is a fairy type Pokémon, it doesn’t know self destruct or explosion, so it’s not trans.

 

[GunCar Gary]

Officers found four hamsters in his pants.

 

[3MMA]

I've been searching the members online tab on and off for the past few days and didn't notice any accounts that seems out of the ordinary.

 

[Tablet County]

It is necessary to read this article in your head with a gay Aussie accent.

Gay Jewish slave owner. We should contact Tariq Nasheed about this.

"I could be at the cities getting a handjo... (Oh shit , oh fuck, I just said that out loud didn't I! Play it cool Nick just finish the sentence and play it off as a joke!) b!"

Despite being <1% of the population, subsaharan Africans show up in a large proportion of Australian ads

SEALs to train with bright orange rubber duckies in all future evolutions.

 

[Betonhaus]

I'm literally shaking. I'm seething. I'm shitting and I'm farting. I am so mad that I am shitting. I have shat in anger to the extent with which I have become malnourished and now I sit on the toilet attached to a permanent feeding tube.

 

[3MMA]

Dogs can sense the faggotry in people

Also

Dats da budduh dawg, da dawg wid da budduh

 

[Tablet County]

Thank you ESL-kun

 

[Abella]

you know shes a teen in that pic?

 

[Inco G. Nito]

i just wanted to dab on bluie while hes down since i just found in my local store other syrup brands that let me make a fuck ton more soda flavors than i could before, all without paying 1000 percent plus shipping and handling extra just so some cummy handed gooner troon faggot could slip aids into it with a lesser selection of flavors than even a subhuman illiterate retard like myself can find on my own.

 

[Tablet County]

Barack Obama wanted change and he was a nigger. So now I never change. Even my underwear.

THE GOVERNMENT IS WATCHING US THROUGH ADS ON YOUTUBE FOR TVS.

AND I CAN'T GET THE COVID OUT OF MY TEETH

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Oh, no! Anal antics!

Killing is an unfortunate necessity of life. Getting your rocks off on doing so is another matter entirely.

Tell yourself that after the third time in a week that you've had to clean up after the scalely tailed arsehole that keeps walking straight into your house like it owns the place.

\What the ever loving FUCK is it with Indians, buttholes, safety, and relevant butthole safety?!

Or the heel of your boot, or another bottle of beer, or the back of your knife, or any flat surface like the edge of a counter, or utensil, or tool, within 5 steps of you unless you're drinking in the literal middle of a field, naked. Fuck the sperging about restricting the vote to property owners, this is how we should determine the franchise.

Dick Tracy's watch was a two-way radio, James Bond's watch had a cutting laser, George H. W. Bush's watch had a garrote wire; how did we go from that to this lame shit?

Somewhere out there, there is a then-teenager that called Osama Fucking Bin Laden a faggot.

It in a way reminds me of the long time of research into coding rdr2 horse ballsack physics, but less useful in the end.

As someone who has been kicked out of scores of hotels and restaurants for indecent exposure, I find this decision to be extremely close-minded.

The incident took place in Satna district of Madhya Pradesh where Lallu Singh Thakur who worked in a flour mill was cleaning himself with an air compressor before leaving work for the day. His colleague, a 24-year-old Gabbar Kol – soon joined him and playfully inserted the air compressor into Lallu’s rectum. Thakur was rushed to a hospital nearby where according he died."

I'll never understand the friendships between Indian men.

Unfortunately, Brexit made moving to Britain more complicated.

The odds are clearly low, but not zero.

 

[PhoBingas]

Not wanting lots of people around Rockso, the rock and roll eight year-old? I can't imagine why.