random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[neverendingmidi]

For fucks sake she literally has grill marks on her rotdog.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

You know, Quasimodo predicted all of this.

 

[Aunt Carol]

He SHIT IN HIS PANTS and decades from now future historians will be able to read about it.

I’d hug him right now if he wasn’t sleeping in the tool shed

Tammy treats Jack like he's a special needs child the Lord left on a scooter at her doorstep.

 

[CEO of Gay]

But given I had to finance my (now ex-)girlfriend's transition at that time, I'd say my spending priorities were in pretty good order.

 

[Inco G. Nito]

@femboy fart huffer

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPsnnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?

 

[Lokenstien]

I only masturbate 3-4 times a week on average. And yeah, it's usually clop. But let's be honest, someone like you would be lucky to be able to cum inside of Derpy Hooves, let alone my sidepiece Starlight Glimmer.

 

[Hamstirer]

Zesty brown man flopping around like he got shot in the dick.

 

[Path Wanderer]

FANOOK LEVEL - EXPERT

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I would like to fuck Lacy Green.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

The criminal extortion of Chris-chan is the same as the deplatforming of the Farms and if Chris and Null had just played ball and were nice to the criminals then everything would be a OK and they wouldn't have to suffer in capitalistic hell.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Somehow I don't think 'misogynist' was the term people called black men trying to date white women in the 70s.

 

[Nonronic]

"i also don't think you should kill your local rapist, that's lynch mobs."

 

[Meat Target]

Anyone that tries to put anything inside my brain is getting lead delivered into theirs.

People these days seem to lack the ability to step back and look at what they just wrote and ask themselves "does this make me sound like a fucking lunatic?"

 

[Gentlebastard]

I wouldn't wholeheartedly adopt that A Modest Proposal-tier hypothesis in its entirety, but it is a fact that unwanted children are vastly overrepresented in the criminal population.

a tepid retard not even worth mocking in the past week

Edit: What I thought was a tortilla is, in fact, a chicken breast; I am, in fact, a retard.

He's the eponymous fat kid who got caught with chocolate on their face blubbering that they didn't eat all the fudge.

I'm optimistically hoping for a huge meltdown

No program child, it is not "monologue." Those are just your delusions. Enjoy the recycle bin.

Be sure to have a VPN while surfing the web there least you get arrested for watching porn or hate speech for visiting this site or x. If you're arrested for owning anime there though that's on you and we'll disavow you.

 

[Thé au lait]

Only in this thread can I get tourism advice because a fat pig can't get locally made cheese for his sandwich.

Also if anybody knows the source URL for this one, I've waded through maybe 20 threads on the relevant site but couldn't find it:

I don't fat, stalker

- Patrick Sean Tomlinson

Spoiler: original screencap

Posted on KF here:

Brotherman "Slackjawed Cow" has posted a text exchange with debtor Tomlinson, which produced the gem
"I don't fat, stalker"

 

[Dire Dire Cocks]

You're Joshua Connor Moon, man. The CEO of Racism.

 

[Jason "Qriist" Close]

your kiwifarms account comes with a free pair of They Live glasses, and some people just forget they have them on now.

 

[Meiwaku]

>Where were you when you learned President Abe was shot?
Kiwifarms

>Where were you when you learned Iran's president died in a helicopter crash?
Kiwifarms

>Where were you when you learned President Trump was shot?
Kiwifarms

The line made me laugh so I reiterated it to share my mirth in my community you joyless antisocial troglodyte

Wait, does he actually like drinking another man's ejaculate out of his girlfriend's vagina? If so, he never left carpet cleaning.

No. Don’t listen to this faggot. Let the hate flow through you.

How these people imagine grooming works:

Pedo: Hello, fine young child victim, I am going to groom you now because I am a PEDOPHILE

Child: OH NO I HAVE BEEN GROOMED

God gives his grainiest photocopiers to his strongest leakers.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Delightfully devilish, you tricked me into thinking you were pretending to be retarded by actually being retarded.

 

[grenouille crétine]

I feel like i'm having a fever dream and a fat arab hooker is standing at the end of my bed, asking me to eat this poop brownie.