random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

IDK I don't get pregnant or sue people so I can't answer your questions directly.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I miss when a mid-life crisis was buying a sports car and fucking a girl half your age and if you couldn't do that there was always the bottle.

 

[Sprate Header]

just so you know when they were harassing you on skibidifarms i was the only one who chose not to participate

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

behold a pale rotdog

"Does the yellow ooze ever stop?"

In a sense autism is like a retarded psychopath.

"the load isn't that big but I love the way her asshole was winking at us."

"Just shoved an 14x3 inch dildo (nearly) completely up my ass."

NOT ANOTHER BLACK GUY WITH A CHEESY AMHOLE

I'm glad they lopped your dick off. I'm glad a "transphobic" nurse has to haul you up to piss. I'm glad you have to wake up screaming. I'm glad you asked for it. I'm glad you have to live with that.

"Jimmy crack corn is actually a euphemism for running the tongue from the top of your butt crack to your butthole. Hence jimmy 'cracked your corn'"

All I'm saying is, if I want a child, I don't have to go to a gene specialist, I can just have sex. Checkmate, Jews.

“We call him Delaware, from all the kid fucking!! Get it???”

"It's not failing, it is just something to be aspired to. I have only ever taken 1 at a time before, but I aspire to be gangbanged, spitroasted and used by multiple hung men. It may never happen but it is still an aspiration."

It's like the retarded pedo version of Training Day

 

[Fathomless Eminence]

>Null streams
>Dragoneer dies that night
>the very next stream after
>Susan dies that night
Chill out man

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

The content of said animation includes her tearing her breasts off and said breasts becoming sentient Michelin men who frolic in a field

 

[Laburnum]

View attachment 6282388

Well, that's a take.

'His last tweet was "Ooooh, damn <33 The good stuff" replying to a comic of an obese anthropomorphic dragon's penis and scrotum inflating to a size larger than the rest of its body. Hopefully that soothed his pain in his final moments.'

 

[grenouille crétine]

Question: How do I shave my balls?

Not for a gay reason but because my cock is fully engorged in a pubic sanctuary.

And if possible I'd like a video demonstration.

 

[Gentlebastard]

This article, right down to the bitch who wrote it, is the very definition of a faggot.

This fucking language, goddamn.
Nobody normal speaks like this.

Men's field hockey is gayer than sucking cock in the Mission.

I don't know about the whole story but the shit smearing part absolutely happens. I work in the industrial complex and never go to shit at work for a reason.

you just know the entire hospital staff formed a conga line through the hallways when that trespass was served

there was a tranny that used to frequent our local Games Workshop who once proclaimed, with a strange sort of pride in his voice, that he had prostituted himself

This was not the love triangle I expected, but the one that's making me want some popcorn.

God bless this Ugandan Henry Ford.

what sane person would see some shit on a toilet and automatically jump to the conclusion that it was intended as an attack on them?

he seems like a good guy, he’s just built like a lolcow

let us not be blinded by perfect dreams of screaming and sobbing pigs

Anyone here is too much of a faggot for Edinburgh, and Edinburgh is the faggiest place in Scotland at the best of times, and the faggiest place in the entire continent for 2 weeks a year.

Everyone attending this is too much of a failure to get into the main event.

And Patrick didn't even get in to the retard participation trophy event. Fat L.

The layout of this house reminds me of that photo that is supposed to depict what you see during a stroke.

He posts his swill and bar slop from Milwaukee and brags about shitty ballpark hotdogs, the man has no self control.

I honestly think this gif and gay porn are the majority of the images on the site (or at least on literature board)
It's genuinely schizo-tier

Bless his heart, he wants to stuff tampons in a .223 entrance wound

 

[Thé au lait]

I didn't think I had so many saved up, but I promise they're all good

You know, the more I hear about this Adolf Hitler fella, the more I don't care for him.

no way then everyone will know im a Q&A junky and that i'm giga retarded instead of incredibly retarded

I am 5'11 190 pounds and I can deadlift 500 pounds with wraps. In about 6 months I should be able to do it raw. I am in my mid 30s and I live with my parents. I have not worked a job in my life.

“Doctor, how soon before I can return to Discord levels of activity?”

>person with furry avatar joins farms
>immediately doxxed and all their embarrassing laundry aired out
it just keeps happening

Leave the little dude alone on this.

Edit: Oh No...

 

[grenouille crétine]

“Instructed how to fuck myself by my ghost

I’m a slutty little bottom bxy for my big hunk of dead boyfriend.”

[Link includes NSFW under spoiler, from Stephanie Cianfriglia thread. You don’t want to see it.]

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

"What's the penalty for being late?"
"Death."
"What's the penalty for rebellion?"
"Death."
"Well, we're late."

 

[Aunt Carol]

I can't stop thinking about trugget and how he needs a trugget house and some trugget help even if he's a hoe.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

It’s so gay that Harvey Milk came back from the grave and said “I don’t want to be associated with this gay shit, I want to posthumously be remembered as a straight man who crushed box”.

 

[CEO of Pickles]

this question hurts my brain and peepee

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Dear diary, I learned that some Romanians can read today

 

[JustSomeDong]

If a book has two guys having sex on its cover and above them a clearly visible title "The joy of gay orgies" it tells me enough about this book to judge it.

 

[Pedophobe]

Looks like Sideshow Bob in funeral attire.

This is dumb and horrible. That means it will happen.

Every day I'm hating autistic people more and more than I normally would.

I feel bad for the normal people involved in this.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

I hate how the worst people in this world get to live in mansions and hang out with Roseanne Barr

It’s like when your dad has a few beers and drops some wicked Dad Lore with absolutely zero context.
You’re just like ‘ok then’.

I believe you may have a fundamental misunderstanding of the whole r vs l thing.

Funnily enough I was thinking that as I was typing it. But fundamentally went with my gut in confidence and boy was I wrong

Perhaps Null can use part of the legal fund to purchase a modest parcel of land in Serbia to secure the existence of Kiwikind and a future for obnoxiously loud flightless birds

You mean a faggot?
Because a fascist is just a faggot with a blade.

I don't know who this Ms. Information lady is but she spits facts.

I'm really disappointed. I thought I could trust conspiratorial comments on kiwifarms.

(edit: accidentally capitalized jew)

"You know what this rabies shot reminds me of? How Donald Trump is secretly working to enact project 2025 and literally make The Handmaid's Tale real," she said, insanely.

Meanwhile, a migrant committed a peaceful stabbing in the background.

I fought back the only way I could, no tip, negative feedback, and deleting the app.

So much for the evil Nazi plot to turn the world into hippies.

 

[Big Nasty]

Cobes barely smokes weed by all accounts, and when he does he degenerates into a shrunken mexican alien.