random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Haram-Habibi]

Sleeping in a port-a-potty during a snowstorm beats sleeping in an open field during one but that doesn't mean it's an ideal situation.

This is simply brilliant. I am in genuine awe.

 

[Faceless Whore]

No hitting on me though, my butt is exit only.

 

[Markass the Worst]

And he is right stop orbiting Roblox YouTubers you stupid fat ugly nigger closeted pedophiles, no child would ever want to be associated with you creeps.

This entire website is a front for an underground child grooming ring hence all the troll shielding

 

[highly regarded 420]

You niggers think too much about Moon dick.

 

[Gog & Magog]

An otherwise healthy 23-year-old transgender male on one year of testosterone therapy presented in an obtunded state. Examination revealed complete quadriplegia with sparing of vertical eye movements, consistent with locked-in syndrome. ... Unfortunately, the patient was out of the time window for any acute stroke interventions.

Suicide prevented! Maximum gender euphoria achieved!

 

[PhoBingas]

If my children made noises like that, I'd abandon them too.

 

[Thé au lait]

The concept of crop rotation as it applies to pepperoni

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Mods, take him to the penis explosion chamber and have his penis exploded immediately.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

"Shoutout @AnimeSucksCopeAndSneed uh, who I have had to ban from the Beauty Parlor because he was thirstposting in both Amberlynn and Chantal's threads"

 

[AnotherPleb]

i will be mad at ANYONE i WANT because i am a red-blooded AMERICAN and i speak FREEDOMESE thank you very much

 

[Positron]

 

[Oliver Onions]

They also forgot to return home afterwards to Africa. Classic mistake

 

[BirdUp]

Mods, I believe this man is suicidal and should be institutionalized for his own protection. I have already intercepted the fatal dose of Goldbelly pies he ordered for himself.

 

[glow]

Funny Or Die could be literal, if we really wanted it.

 

[Kiwifarmsname]

Don't increase your carbon foot print masturbating into kinder eggs ffs.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I always laugh when "black twitter" tries to come up with some new slur for white people, but then lock replies because they inevitably turn into combo chains of N I G G E R. You don't even have to spell the word out, you can legit just post "N" under their replies and they will react like you called them nigger. It's great.

I feel like this needs to be stated once again, for the retards in the back...

DO NOT USE GOOGLE CHROME YOU FUCKING RETARD!

We're in full holographic meatloaf mode

Tldr is that people are stupid, and the aliens should come take over already

This thread always either irritates me or makes me angry. Don't even know why I visit anymore.

NOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T LET PEOPLE WITH DIFFERING VIEWPOINTS SPEAK THIS IS HORRIFYING A THREAT TO OUR DEMOCRACY

this is one of the most disgusting and hilarious things I’ve ever read on the internet.

Disgusting. How much does it cost?
Asking for a friend.

I remember one of my mothers' friends booked a trip to India. She didn't even make it out of the terminal before, as she put it "I realized I had made a terrible mistake" and booking a flight home. She said every man there had rape in his eyes, and not in a made-up Western way, in a 'they're going to drag me into the restroom and gang rape me' way.

Apparently fingender means "any female gender" and mingender means "any male gender", despite literally having "minge" in the word.

I suspect they are just fucking with us.

God but these fuckers make me want to drink myself to sleep.

fuck you for reminding me marsupilami existed

backwards baseball hat aesthetic is legitimately the most embarrasing cow getup I can think of, and i'm factoring both troon AND furry cows of infamy in this comparison

Do you think these people go mad in nature because it allows them to hear the void where their soul should be?

The internet is forever. tee hee

Also lick my taint and call me Cecil, his face is downright bulbous

 

[Black Man Underwear]

@Napoleon Bonerfart

I don't think too many people are trading cheeseburgers for blowjobs these days so food is food

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

receiving unsolicited porn and used rubbers in the mail every 6 months cannot in fact be considered harassment.

 

[Harm]

almsdeeds will wrath wrench said offend forbid races incorruption grow ofthe then loseth grieving continuance existence cherish successively doubtless reputation heat resulting temper fog thefts sour egyptian sublimity reach bands

 

[Meat Target]

You weren't ordered to be here like the rest of us?

You weren't mailed draft papers during the Drop Kiwi Farms Special Autism Operation?

Yes, I work for the CIA and am also living in your walls.

Scrolling down a page must be hard for the intellectually disabled.

I’m pretty there’s at least one Kiwi agent in Minnesota who’s not on the registry.

The Crackfairy told him that.