random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[3MMA]

Gee, Nick. Is the bodycam footage really THAT bad?

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Remember, he was caught lying about being deaf after going almost 100 in a 55, which is kinda based, but it was also in a Silver Miata, which means he's some kind of gay degenerate sociopath.

 

[RACISM]

I would love to work with Niantic and make my idea of a game that's just like Pokemon Go except instead of Pokestops you collect dungeons around town. [...]
The game corresponds to crime maps, and uses their statistics to generate dungeons. Higher crime areas = harder dungeons. The final boss will only spawn in 10-star difficulty dungeons, which only spawn in areas where there's at least one murder a day.

 

[Rotollo 2]

I would call his kids onto the stand and then make them cry in cross-examination while I mock them about their coked up whoremonger parents. I think it'd be funny.

 

[barbie meat]

View attachment 6288682

"Nick's redness and an angle of curvature of his nose have viewers joking about him being drunk or having a coke allergy."

 

[Black Man Underwear]

what happens on Jan 16, 2055

You'll see.

• “This poll will close: Jan 16, 2055.”

nigga how did you do that

 

[everybody in Portugal]

In the meantime, I shall prepare my essay „Kill yourself - in Austen: the use of literary analysis as passive aggression”.

Get your talentless involuntary hikikomori daughter's blood tested, she's got the dark armpits of a pre-diabetic (and the aggressively homely face of a middle-aged Duane Reade cashier but I digress).

She's so fucking innovative. She might be the first eBeggar to call in sick to grifting.

(I used the past tense because I assume "women's chess" all just pungent crossdressers now)

That muscle still thinks it's in her leg, not rolled up and sewn to her crotch.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

Sweetheart, have you seen daddy's crack pipe? I'll let you light it again if you find it for me. Hang on, is this still recording?

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

As much as I enjoy kiwifarms, turning Joshua Moon into a whimpering cheese-grasping cumdumpster has a certain piquancy about it.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I have a feeling Only fans, stripping and roadside prostitution are in her future.

Oh and multiple children by multiple men

Jesus Christ, somebody please spike her drinks with contraceptive pills already.

I bet she fucks like epileptic kangaroo on meth.

I came for the swimsuit girl and was very glad I was misled.

despite wearing TWO SHIRTS, his disrespectful nipples remain protuberant

despite going torso.7z he's still rotund

even in Barnsley (a culturally isolated town with no shortage of weird-looking mutants, probably due to its long history of mining and consequent water pollution) that thing would draw horrified stares

if I didn't already know these characters already I would think this was too stupid to be real. stupid people in movies are not written this stupid.

I don’t know what magical combination I had to subject myself to in order to be served up this banger by the algorithm, but there was definitely something satanic behind it

I’d rather have the Beach Boys’ “Barbara Ann” stuck in my head for eternity than this shit.

Oh shit I'm legit retarded. Thanks man. Holy fuck I'm dumb.

DJ Pronouns & MC Progeria finally dropping a new album.

I always get a laugh out of these. Its a collage of people with muscles working out mixed in with pictures of the fat kid from the special ed class who wandered into a gym and started taking selfies of himself

 

[AlSharptonPogrom]

He basically picked the most niggerlicious way to get a website up on some random hosting service.

Completely gratuitous. It reinforces the harmful stereotype that persons of color are cheap. It is his website. Moon man - shine on, you crazy diamond!

 

[Blackhole]

(it's a JOKE though GUYS I want to BLOW JAY LENO)

not to be fatrick on main, but do you people have to post the norm mcdonald picture in every thread

twerk the turds off

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

The local homeless are walking atms

 

[Tablet County]

"now you too have

sneed, my kitten,"

 

[Freshly Baked Socks]

Josh sez...

“You could very easily say that Facebook is a stalker website or Instagram is a stalking website. It is really an inferior way to describe what amounts to a gossip forum,” Moon expounded, “It implies a level of criminality to it that doesn't exist.”

 

[Tablet County]

I'm gonna feed you a tube steak smothered in underwear

I remain immune to the female lardmagic that ensnares weaker men

"It's simple. We eat the Batman."

 

[Thé au lait]

Hi

I'm sick of your shit Android Raptor.

Oscar Pistorius is a sore subject for me. When he got his charge downgraded to manslaughter because he shot through the bathroom door, thus proving lack of intent, I tried patenting an invention with a bathroom door bolted to the muzzle of the gun. Then they reversed that and he got convicted of murder. Waste of a patent fee.

 

[BirdUp]

to be fair Patrick also shows his cock to people when he's mad.

 

[RuPaul’s Drag Racist]

There's a sort of lie inflation effect. Lie enough and eventually your lies become worth the equivalent of a Zimbabwe "dollar."

 

[Tablet County]

Typical Neanderthal Behavior - hunting mammoths, cave paintings, sorcery.

“We wasted money on Biden ads and we spent too much time staring at Hunter’s dick.”

How are historians going to write about this for posterity?

If i grab a photo and throw it at you, the image will be moving but it will not be an animation.

I too come into threads about shit I don't care about, spread my retarded asscheeks as wide as possible, shit all over the floor, and then act like I'm superior to everyone around me.