random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[( ◠‿◠ )]

Dont question why I'm linking a turkish website. I'm not turkish, you're turkish.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I started lurking this thread fairly late, so I always get Tentacle Dick and Elephant Dick confused because Elephant Dick's trunk also looks like a tentacle.

You shake a weird palm frond bundle and a very expensive special lemon.

 

[Merton J. Dingle]

And start thinking about how you dress. I always say to people they should dress for the ghost they want to be. If you just left the house and got clapped, do you want to get caught on Ghost Hunters wearing a cum-stained Nirvana T-Shirt and some holey sweatpants for all eternity?

 

[Pedophobe]

And to the tranny jannies of the Deep Rock Galactic subreddit: You will never be a real dorf.

 

[TheClappening]

What the fuck would this even entail. Using it like a hand puppet and sticking her thumb through the weiner slot?

 

[Aunt Carol]

I can't make myself read 500,000+ words of gay fanfic, starring characters I do not give a fuck about.

I do not understand Jews.

 

[Space Police]

their fetish fiction has more character drama.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Oh good. Super AIDS.

 

[stares at error messages]

Trying to explain something with statistics is like trying to explain colour to a blind person.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Which Kiwifarmer is actually brave enough to do a nude video WITH their name ON THEIR SKIN IN MARKER?

 

[JustSomeDong]

Gooners will bring up their fetish more readily than a redditor brings up trump.

Who's a good poopie boy?

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

Your fetish IS a deeply felt need. If it wasn’t, it’d be an embarrassing hobby.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Powerleveled a bit too hard at work about the unabomber. Was told HR will be talking to me

 

[Tablet County]

READ UP SPACEWHORE

Behold my fellow Kiwis. The ultimate, genius master plan to defeat zionism!

Imagine if all white men quit working, we are still in significant numbers that it would bring all of our countries to their knees. That is my one dream in life. I know it will never happen, but I'll keep on dreaming.

You're not only a faggot but also a Transnigger too.

 

[Haloperidol]

Better to have a stinkditch in the crotch than a stinkditch in the mind.

Potatoes emit poison gas as they decompose. Use them as bedding and you will die peacefully in your sleep, to the envy of the living.

Enjoy your rights, you fat cackling chode.

can't have a white kid with a white woman because the dating marketplace has been destroyed by Jews

 

[One Angry Computer]

Call me "Genghis Khan", for I'm about to cuck every married Chinese man.

 

[Tablet County]

Regan even had to resort to a hand from his monkey while he watched dressed as superman

I hope the episode is pulled from reruns so the victims never have to accidentally see their abuser having fun on tv.

i think getting some sloppy gash from a rough chick you don't care about but promised the world to is a male right of passage.

 

[Laburnum]

"I knew I had arrested development, but this is a new low. I am disturbingly retarded."

 

[Aunt Carol]

I’d love to get two Beckys in a big ol’ jar and shake it up to see if they kill one another or mutually self-destruct first

 

[Gentlebastard]

Wait. There's no horse semen in the Healthy Food Pyramid.

A bit too much decorum for my liking

"Oh yeah? Well I pay DOUBLE taxes!"

The question isn't "did we or did we not?"
It's whether we did it because we're retarded, or if we became retarded as a result of doing it

Telling a woman she's "the only one for you" and you would "fuck her raw after your mom drives you to her house" to get her titty and ass pics are indeed not crimes.

the emotional strength of a crack whore crawling over broken glass to get her next fix

Don't ruin my hopes of an autistic war

At least his unibrow is nice and healthy.

I am fat and you will not have sex with me.

We are this close to Donald Trump Patposting.

I learned that the hard way when I had to fight a feral child