random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

Saaar you are a child saar. You are not nor will ever you redeem. Now please do enjoy the prisonful saaaaaartalkaaaaaar

The joke is even funnier when you realize they actually believe it.

Yeah yeah, "beauty in the eye of the beholder" and all that but come on, man!

Anyone who starts a sentence with "Ah, yes" should be castrated

That explains the man with garden shears outside my house.

The thought the Indo-Europeans sweeping off the steppes after learning to ride horses on a dare and brought the foundations of all major Eurasian civilizations is a bit silly, but it's got great shitposting potential.

The FtM jewish tiktok hitler with an egg-laying fetish? Or is this a different trans hitlerkin

Look at that face and tell me that this is a sane person. Do it, I dare you.

(to give the man credit, at least his only interest in young boys is beating them up to steal their girlfriends)

Fat people are so fucking gross, we never should have stopped aggressively shaming them as a society.

The great thing about Rick as a cow is his absolutely encyclopedic ignorance on any imaginable subject means anyone of normal intelligence has something to look down on him about, because whatever he says is wrong, without exception.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

>mfw the first person you know of that jerked off to you is a man with a wurmple avatar

 

[IamnottheNSA]

(っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) hi my name is staphylococcus aureus nice to meet you and this is my giga chad posse, we're moving into your hole now. Nice body you got here your cis white shit bloodcells are vile evil bigots tho. So don't mind us we're just gonna seize the means of production of your immune system ok

 

[Spectate]

I actaully tearded up a bit holy shit. Didn't expect to write something this beautifyl and meaningful and wholesmome. Everything will be alright fellas. also I'm out of beer dammit. But yeahnI love you all I wish you coudl reach into the screen and like hug people. I would give endless hugs. Hugs are the most pure fom r of affection.

 

[Spectate]

lol no Woht why wiould Igt banned? They kniw alcohol wears off? lo;l nebefemind i think jannies never taseted alcholoh or felt a touch of a girl in their lives ahahhahaha

 

[Aunt Carol]

Not even classic movies like King Kong are safe from being the setting for scat fanfiction:

 

[Spectate]

saw she was lacking those things

bro i complained to you about my boob-induced back pain i am NOT lacking

 

[Jhonson the Two]

You shouldn't expect to get a girlfriend by having good hygiene, but they'll notice when you don't.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

welding buddies wanted to take me out to a strip club on my birthday to "fix" the virginity problem. I declined. I am and always will be better than Russel Greer.

 

[Speedrunner]

He's threating to unzip his cock on me.

 

[DickMain]

What about @Meiwaku and her lesbian lover @Ged!

Oh wait that’s right. He’s a man and she’s full of shit. My bad.

real men want trad tardwives

 

[Dr. Butt]

As racist they were, the KKK were hardly anti-Semitic.

 

[Dead Lion]

Somebody start cross checking missing Asian hookers in Australia immediately.

 

[Axiom.]

I just want a sane whamen that I can take to dinner and talk about autistic shit (and that isn't on this website), then get married a month later like what happened to my sister lol. That is apparently too much to ask.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Just remember, when i get married, that bitch is getting knocked up night one. Fuck condoms nigga. The mormon horde wont grow by itself.

 

[Strong Tomato]

Whatifalthist is the greatest YouTuber philosopher to date.

 

[Harm]

is "life ruination" another way of saying "prelude to family annihilation"

 

[Tactical Wizard]

Listen to your Elf Grandma when she breaks out the advanced racism.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

I say this as a friend. A friend who's just watched his friend down drink after drink, threw up on themselves and is about to fuck a fat chick, hoping to God that you'd sober up before you do. Because America you are going to sober up at some point, and you're going to realize just how fat and rancid the chick you just fucked was. All I can say is please don't pick up the bottle again to drown out the shame and self loathing that comes with fucking a fat chick, you'll just end up fucking a fatter chick, and the world just doesn't want to see you go through that again America.

People think rock bottom is a lot higher up than it actually is, and we're a long way from even where people think it is

 

[Cnidarian]

Once I get a time machine I will use it to go back to World War 1 and World War 2.
Not to change the outcome, but just to get them to name it anything other than "World War I/II" so that I never have to hear the phrase "World War III" again.

You could say that this would technically prevent World War III from ever happening.