random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Oliver Onions]

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF INCEL MOURNING : The dentist who literally invented mewing has passed away surrounded by his loved ones in his modest castle.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

The butt isn't hollow and doesn't echo any unpleasant sound?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Look out for all those intersecting geometric shapes Dracula!

 

[Crex Crex]

One thing I want to know is what kind of man would outright say, "My dick was stolen by a frog."

I mean I wouldn't date a guy who lost his dick to a Frenchman.

 

[Super Malario]

The groomer cries out in pain as he strikes you...

 

[Autistic Gunspergings]

View attachment 7595955

"RAPEOCAUST NOW. ERADICATE MAGA. EXTERMINATE FASCISM."

 

[The Noise]

this mob guy ate a bunch of cheese and had nightmares about all the left hands he chopped off coming to kill him so you spent the level shooting at giant left hands.

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

You're telling me "Zackthephoenix" survived burning herself alive? God is so fucking funny dude.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I know I have shit takes, but isn't it sexist to assume only men can have shit takes?

Polissa weighs as much as a reasonably priced sedan.

I hate that the majority response for any Internet Person asking for money isn’t always “okay, start dancin’”. The world would be such a more joyous place.

Is your "boys club" a gay DM chain? I don't want none of that

 

[Gentlebastard]

Lost in delusion, the troon hasn't the slightest grip on reality.

We're his Only Fans. We're the only people willing to listen to his horrible songs, without needing a court oorder.

Damn the Yakuza has better production value than Netflix these days

shame about the inherent shitting dick nipple piss play that'll be the main plot point, but that could honestly pass for a current year power rangers remake IMO

TIL the japs put Moonman in their tokusatsu porno

 

[CallmeCicada]

All of you should put scorpions on your cock. If you don't have a cock, ask a friend.

I don't care what they say, to me the "third eye" will always mean the butthole.

 

[Dr. Butt]

acks for the ack god
troons for the troon bridge

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Amazing that a thread about war in the Middle East devolves into endorsements of cuckoldry.

The other thread mentioned it, but there was Fuzzy Modem and the time he broke his dick fucking his then wife. More specifically, he caught his foreskin on her panties, tore his frenulum, and argued about going to a doctor and getting it checked out.

So you mean to tell me a bunch of black teenagers wouldn't hold up against a superpowered kung fu alien?

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Epstein Island was Hollywood's version of Epstein Island.

This man got nipple piercings then proceeded to remain topless during healing, including in his bed with presumably unwashed sheets and another tranny pushed up against one, without a care in the world. Not even wearing a bralette while it's torn and routinely seeping. Yet despite this actually seemed to expect everything to work out fine. Surprised his nipples are still leaking from whatever minor infection he's been fighting. He seemed to have some weird form of kink around getting is nipple caught in things and actually kept letting it happen until his piercing nearly destroyed the damn nipple. Couldn't even let it heal and then have his weird caught nipple roleplay afterwards. I don't understand his fucked up porn brain at all.

I really feel like I’ve missed my calling in life. Hey Mi6, I score reaaaaaly high on Machiavellianism, just saying

I will let the fine (real) gentlemen of this thread comment, as I of course am not possessed of a pickle, but I dimly remember from anatomy that it’s not technically impossible but rather difficult to do this and that even a half boner will result in aiming challenges.

"My original surgeon wanted me to come back to Mexico to remove the necrosis at the tip, but I couldn't swing it for several reasons."

I will never get over how casual they are about necrosis.

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

"And that's the end of today's video! Please like or subscribe to MurderJizz911, I spent a lot of time and effort making this video. See you on the next one where I'll shove this kid in a plastic bag and do us some hammer throws indoors! Peace."

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

Why are they seething about his "real job?" Just enjoy calling him a fraud with asthma wheezing to death.

 

[Pedophobe]

Of course, it should be noted that on Kiwi Farms, unlike Reddit, stickers are absolutely fucking meaningless

Expect nothing and receive less, besides once a blue moon the corn gods bless us with a harvest.

I've never been more convinced that every single person who works in the telecommunications industry is certifiably retarded.

 

[stupid frog]

> Go after a Jew
> Get owned so bad you end up living in a bunker like Hitler and Ava Braun

 

[Oliver Onions]

"shut up Bungus" has a different mental weight than "shut up Thor"
Bungus would understand he's just some fucking guy and go "yeah you right"
Thor wouldn't

 

[stupid frog]

There was the time she caught a lost dog with a forgotten pack of chicken nuggets.

*this is a true story

Nah, I'm done leaving, I'm retaking this ride, what are these fat fucks gonna do? RUN from us? good luck...

You should ask your mother next time why she prefers exploiting desperate Third Worlders over her own children.

Let's make this very clear, the immigrant work ethic is based on desperation. It shouldn't be celebrated. It's exploitation.