random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

I have some Scottish DNA, but was raised in America. Because of this I was denied haggis and bagpipes!
I demand restitution! (in money plz, not haggis and bagpipes)

I don't know how to tell you...

But Alabama is a real place in the USA.

"Waaaahhhhh Waaaahhh I made myself a freak of nature and now even the pervert companies don't cow tow to my will"

Janitors are worthy of respect. They might be high as a kite on the job, but do you want to scrub toilets sober? Do you want to scrub them at all? Be thankful. The people who clean up our messes are who keep things nice. Without them the whole world would look like India.

Lady - uterus owner, whatever the fuck you want to be called - let me put it very clearly: you made your own pregnancy about a fucking gay ship, that is a level of fujo I cannot even BEGIN to comprehend.

Someone put effort into this. And put their name on it. Someone is seriously proud of their weird sex meme.

Your reward is that he's indian and you aren't. Savor it. It's the sweetest reward there is.

You want to know why black men die 5 to 7 years earlier on average then white men? It's not racism it's your shitty cooking.

I thought Christmas was for the fat guy that keeps breaking and entering my house to leave me coal every year

I shudder to think how many Tripple Dippers he’s consumed in his lifetime.

 

[Brutality]

Do you shove a chainsaw up your meow meow when you see a nigga jiggling they butt?

 

[Meat Target]

Leave kf, you insane person. Enjoy whatever gay faggot hobbies you have before you are left with nothing but the word "nigger" echoing in your head.

 

[McMitch]

16. The befuddlement is stark:

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

A single nigger in this and it is a complete failure, I will not even pirate it.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Kill youself and then die afterwards for good measure.

 

[scatterbrain]

The fuck is a homophobe synthesizer? One that only has the F, A and G keys?

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

You have a job lined up before you even started class? Wow! The HR Karens are so desperate to hire brown women to drag everyone else down that they’re now just hiring random mulatto pirate whores off the street now. Strange call. Most firms just go right to India these days.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Realising all men are gay is crazy it explains so much.

 

[Jimmy Dean Bowl]

we raped him in self-defense

Raped and Zoboomafoo'd

Oh LAWD spare us our plights and bless us our whorehouses one and all.

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

You can't even fucking TXT this one. @Dizzyuntildeath

 

[Crypt Kicker]

 

[neger psykolog]

Animal cruelty is ok if the meat that is produced is tastier than without.

 

[Drip Torch]

I will if you tell your friends to stop calling me a kike, migger or the n word

 

[Dr. Butt]

ITS ALMOST LIKE WE DON’T NEED TO VICTIMIZE BLACK WOMEN TO WRITE A FUCKING BOOK!

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

It's just difficult to imagine Jack not eating a baby.

 

[Dr. Butt]

WHY DID I GET ALL THESE SURGERIES ONLY TO STILL BE AN OBVIOUS MAN???

 

[Cnidarian]

I raise the risk that it's not fine, they'll become "alt-Arab". And then that will become the story of their entire life.

And isn't that scary?

Damn it, we were visited by the second incarnation of the risen Christ. He's not actually the risen Christ. I am legally required to say that as an orthodox Christian, but, and we lost him. But also, why would you want to be reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln? He was a shitty president.

 

[Big Nasty]

Fag vs tranny… the ultimate battle…

 

[Aunt Carol]

Edit: I'm going with Jews killing Reddit, supported by bees.

Maybe don't sexually assault your cat? what the fuck