random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Hamstirer]

No wonder you're so asshurt, you got diddled

 

[r/oldpeoplefacebook]

literally any of these, please

😵‍💫 Skitzocow Post in thread 'Stephen Shawn Larson / Stephen Larson / InkDemonStephen / StephenTheInkDemon / Stembley The Raccoon / GeneralStephenSTRONG / alive252525'

Feb 7, 2026

mans is a walking random_text.txt, i love those cows

Now speaking of which

Best Stephen Quotes
Taken from all of his writings. Feel free to add your own if I missed any.

This is why everyone must be evict the Internet and they fleeing from the Internet from several years after they got PSTD

Alphabet Group created by idiotphiles

What Is Multiculturalification?

So what is Multiculturalification? The answer is NO!

Get off the Internet, log off your computer and delete yourself

Please quit the...

• Doxed

Reactions: x 17 x 1 x 1 x 1

my second suggestion is this, from the yumeshipping thread:

 

[Meat Target]

It's obviously the women's fault for having a functioning sense of smell.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Time to get better at basketball.

>injects milk and battery acid in scrotum

 

[Gog & Magog]

If you have a micropenis but people pay to see it, are you ahead or behind in life?

The boomer picture frame, color coordinated towels and clean bathroom make me think he lives with his mom

Holy shit bro . If you are white and fuckless in the west you are going to be white and fuckless in east asia

I’ve learned that reality doesn’t make sense currently. So, it’s a possibility.

Dear @soulgains,
Thank you for your nice post, but I am actually a US Marine who was born to kill, whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping communist dicksuck.
And although peace probably appeals to tree-loving bisexuals like you and your parents, I happen to be a death-dealing, blood-crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations.
Peace sucks a hairy asshole, soulgains. War is the motherfucking answer.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Idk why anyone bothers arguing with a person who uses darksidephil as an avatar; only bottom dwelling retard niggers find him interesting.

You're a fucking idiot.

There seem to be a lot of these, "Fish cries that there are no good bicycles around," articles these days.

Ok I’m back from bombing Iran but I still don’t like bitches

This implies women would be better than males at male autism, if only they were also stupid enough to voluntarily engage in it.

 

[Chromeo]

That's why you piss in the shower. If you can't increase accuracy, then increase margin of error.

(I'm betting this has been shared half a dozen times already but idgaf it's hilarious)

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

My parents told me that college was going to be a mature place, and a Christian environment. It kind of felt like God wasn't there.

- It's as if getting pumped with cum is a trigger now

"I am close friends with a particular trans woman. I am close friends with a particular pedophile."

edit: I was in a faggot rage while posting, ignore me

How do the most mediocre and unappealing of men manage to get insane, BPD women to obsess over them? I know this, being a mediocre and unappealing man who's had it happen to me

one must ask, "Whom wouldst Jesus rape?"

"you do not want one of nature's more complex and variable structures, the pum-pum"

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

I can't go outside and get laid.

I never leave my house and I can't speak to people in the real world.

I'm balding, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm short, I think I smell of chlorine and alcohol sweat, I don't have a 10 inch dick, I don't have a chadly jawline, I don't have a deep voice.

 

[Incorrigible Bigotry]

Man, if you got molested by Stephen Hawking then that's on you.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

(I'm betting this has been shared half a dozen times already but idgaf it's hilarious)

Nah you're the first actually.

There are no tourist faggots i wish to curbstomp into the pavement more than i do with these people. THESE ARE NOT SONIC FANS. Most of them will tell you with a straight face they got into the series with the movies and/or Frontiers. They will say the old games are "clunky" while praising Kishitmoto trash. I don't fully disagree with the statement that Sonic wouldn't be the biggest fan of law enforcement (which can honestly be debated because he doesn't really go out of his way to fuck with them from what i remember unless they're targeting him and in the case of the movies his "dad" is literally a cop), but these people do it in such a FAGGY way that it makes me cringe with disgust.

Actually it's closer to "Aryan Übermensch fucks jewish girl after catching her in the basement"

Nigga you're looking way too hard into the tought process of a spineless, inbred retard.

thank you unsolicited callers, every one of you I call Pakistani or a streetshitter is one more step forward in my mental health journey

Off topic, but some faggot let his dog shit on the athletic fields in a park near me, put a little toothpick flag of President Trump's face on the turd and then fucked off. I hate liberals so much right now.
CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR FUCKING DOG, YOU PATHETIC SHITBAG.

can't you find different threads to post random shit on?

"I realized despite having no qualification and being wholly undeserving of it, I had the ear of a segment of the population with zero self respect, no gagreflex, and disposable income. I figured it would be completely irresponsible of me to NOT bilk them out of every dollar I could while pretending to give a shit about personal and professional integrity"

Hindu? More like Hindoo-doo, amirite?

I come to this thread and get all wound up and angry. Then I go over to the Watch People Die thread and get comforted as they get hit by trains, electrocuted, and just killed in numerous ways. I’d say 1/4 videos is some pajeet biting the dust.

Watch some of it and tell me how suicidal you feel.

If you really love something, you won't let it see how the German people failed you.

I have actually met an Eskimo, Stalin took a bunch of them who were displaced from Greenland by the British in 1921 and Stalin deposited them in Belarus in 1937, they like Irish Folk music and Death Metal. Also rape and skinning small animals alive.

I was introduced to the Porn News reddit by one of you guys a couple weeks ago. (I like funny gossip about crackheads.)

AtunShei is going to blow up a federal building.

This discount imported dime store Hanna Montana leaves something to be desired.

We must measure his cranium to find out if he's a retard or just incompetent, his head is quite oddly shaped IMO

what these two are doing with their erotica is a xenophobic microaggression. Be better.

I wonder if having fictional characters react to the Epstein files will be the new Deviantart 9/11 tribute with a bunch of characters gazing sadly at a TV.

15 year old me wrote a shitty fanfiction about that.

I just noticed that the infographic included balls. This is important. This means something.

There needs to be sticker that calls someone a homophobic slur

I use chopsticks to eat Froot Loops (which I call Huruuto Ruupusu) with each mouthful single, sad, soggy loop.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

A spokesperson at Minute Maid said they have "put in motion a final solution to eliminate the juice" from store shelves and that their new product lineup of fresh refrigerated beverages would "last for a thousand years".

 

[pikachudidnothingwrong]

Our most retarded and annoying users can now manually solve Proof of Work challenges with command line copypaste.

 

[Zeftax]

In the worst case, a warning message of "gay retard" could imperil the site, as it gives the appearance of there being rules against being disabled or gay.

This place is weird.

this thread contributed greatly to my furry folder

As a retarded anthropologist (redundant), I find it fascinating. This thread is like watching two warring tribes of Rousseauian chimps battling it out while flinging shit at all the bystanders.

I'm just trying to get the facts straight on the electronic celebrities penile function, and actually if you think that's weird YOU'RE THE GAY ONE

 

[WelperHelper99]

"Screw america they say", well, to that I say, "bounce the fucking ball, nigger".

 

[vomitusdeux]

Idk if you've ever tried this but most humans have these black people detection tools built into their heads called 'eyes'. Those are pretty good at detecting black people and helping you avoid them.

It also appears that he has a diaper wearing, meth taking lady in his life:

 

[Gentlebastard]

Chastity cage, null gets the key. The ultimate cock block.

Not deluded enough yet, but working on it.

Good legal advice for schizos! They don't want you to know this, but legal representation is free if you do it yourself.

Jon was not his best friend. Jon was a random guy Rick met on the internet who stole his wife within an hour of meeting the both of them.

Man, they really do make us sound cool every time they try to make fun of us, don't they?

I realize this is never ever going to happen and it is ridiculous. But can't a man dream of a world where justice is done even if he knows that it can never be.

Leave overweight Frida Kahlo alone.

No, that doesn't scream romantic comedy. It screams mental illness.

Hi guys, did Russell ever finish his Hooker Bullet Train system?

We used to get magazine proposals, railways that deliver you right to the brothel, 'Russell Greer's Map to the Whores' brothel maps.

What we trade away, I suppose. Even dreams must die.

The problem is you start gassing people, and suddenly everyone is calling you a Nazi, like it's a bad thing or whatever.

Are they even intelligent enough to understand what’s being asked of them? Or am I retarded for trying to find logic in their behavior patterns?

 

[Aunt Carol]

In all likelihood null is the one who told you to fuck off.

In any case, I think stealing an individual's bank information would be illegal.

The locking eyes and peeing is a classic cat demonstration of unhappiness, in my house we call it a "Pee pee protest."

What is worse, I wonder, to be born Lou, son of a horsefucker with the IQ of protozoa, or to become Ernest, to take a life and intellect of such promise and, through drugs and ego, reduce it to the point where you rage about a long-dead author while pretending to be a gay horse?

 

[Rozzy]

I went to a gay bathhouse and got fucked in the ass by a cock so big it made me bleed. After that I realized I'm a top.

 

[indomitable snowman]

If you ever think you're fast enough to catch a wild chipmunk with your hand, don't do it. You may be fast enough to catch him but the little shit will bite you hard. I learned that lesson the hard way.

Bro if he has the catboy sex tape he needs to dump it

As if I have the time for more tranny nonsense.