random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

I got made fun of for not knowing Dr. Butt lore.

Absolute unit. Can we get a picture of the toes?

 

[SNEED.EXE]

You thing you are so fucking special? It's not 2005 anymore so you can put your finger in your anus and sniff it

 

[Meat Target]

contemplating his anus accommodating a Pringles can.

 

[WelperHelper99]

When your girlfriend lays in bed at night, she thinks of cut American cock.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Why would you want “I shit a lot” to be your identity?

I already send pictures of my penis to Google's board members regularly

 

[Stationary aszs]

Break out the henny and blunts my g's, cuz a BLACK MAN got some justice!

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Great catching up with Liz Fong-Jones today. Liz was scaring me

You look good enough to model Pizza Hut's new menu items.

When he said "fucking missionary" he was talking about some of his whore experiences, nothing more.

Fixed, just like your low t post.

Read nigga.

Domain Expansion: Puffy-Wuffy Clouds

I will not "come to terms" with being fucked over and give up.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

well, at least the goats have human penises

 

[Sooty Soot]

He is a man of logic, and should not be taken seriously.

Dear Sheikh, may Allah grant you martyrdom, and black-eyed virgins in Paradise.

I wanted to commit a martyrdom operation. [...] Who told me that they had invented a new and unprecedented form of martyrdom operations - explosive capsules are inserted into your anus.

In order to train for this method of Jihad, you must consent to being sodomized for a period of time, so that your anus becomes wider, making room for more explosives.

 

[Poonocchio]

I mean, you can't unsuck a cock.

 

[Solomon Bundy]

It was like watching Michael Jordan selling sneakers to niggas who can't dunk.

If he was dead, he would look exactly the same.

I'm gonna get trashcans, but the doxing is my least favourite part of the farms.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Dog penises scare him. He's Italian and hates pasta. His brother confessed three times in one sitting that he thought about killing himself.

i will never know what its like to frot

If you're a woman you are born into a lot of kinds of suffering just automatically, but the answer is not to start choppin'.

I've had a penis my whole life and I've never stuck it in anything unusual.
Starting to wonder if I've missed out now.

I can't believe a man with MEAT in his username sent MEAT to another man with GOON in his username.

I'm imagining a water birth in a kiddy pool filled with gravy.

If you ever have kids you will become cringe in the exact same way, and the circle of life will be complete

He played "Conan Exiles" and set the height and bazongas sliders to the max, but he always does that.

 

[TroonsDid911]

I see Mossad has taken time out of their busy schedule of sucking mutilated baby penises and running pedophile islands to shillpost on Kiwi Farms

Yea Im self promoting. I still think it was funny.

 

[demicolon]

I think Asian women have faces like dogs.

YAAAH.

 

[CEO of Gay]

Oh sweet
i got syphilis
(DO NOT MISQUOTE THAT)

 

[Sheeple]

If you think Mickey Mouse isn't a faggot idk what to tell you. He may have a girlfriend, but he's got the spirit of one.

Mickey gets pegged! Mickey gets pegged!

 

[General Emílio Médici]

Good job, femboy fart huffer!

Wait, they actually convicted the Antifa flag of federal offenses too? How awesome would that be if they gave the Antifa flag itself the electric chair?

All that for a website? Just reach out through family connections to go have a mossad agent kill that nigger already.

my shoe is more jewish than him and has a better grasp on the religion

Oh sweet
i got syphilis
(DO NOT MISQUOTE THAT)

 

[DickMain]

fighting everyone in twitter replies Tomlinsonesquely

 

[Solomon Bundy]

He's already losing his shit under the gaze of two Canadian retards, imagine how he'll react to Lex Jewthor entering the ring.

 

[CansOfCant]

If we don't go down on the First Amendent we cease to exist.