random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[corvuscorax]

People who hate this site are:
-Pedophiles
-Trannies


Both who should jump in front of a train filled with jeets.

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's nice to see the classic responses sometimes. I was worried he was switching to deranged fantasies about screaming prison cell suicides permanently.

He has mythologized his own life, twisting each doldrum affair that actually happened into grand adventures where he is (naturally) the hero.

He thinks that it sounds cool and because he thinks something he thinks that everyone else thinks that way as well.

He's like the Lego theme designer of whorehouses.

If the flow of milk must end let it be worthwhile.

Russ feels like a gambling addict, one who always plays the same way, like trying to draw for a royal flush, and bluffing while wearing mirrored sunglasses.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Sometimes I read this thread and my first thought is some people need to either jerk off before typing or get castrated because they are too horny for their own good.

 

[JayseeDenton]

I trust polls about as much as I trust public restroom toilet paper.

 

[Dr. Butt]

For all we know, Fat Daddy was just all: "Thanks. Drive safe. I gotta go clip my toenails on OnlyFans."

 

[Zeftax]

So-called "gay sex" is for men who can't know the joys of arguing online.

Hello I am autistic and retarded what do you think I'm doing on this website???

for some reason i have a post there talking about bolognese and i don't remember making it

Yes, I'm an incel because of my life situation, and yes, I love Kiwifarms lol.

IM NOT GAY I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO BE GAY AND I NEVER WILL BE GAY!!!!!!!!

 

[Aunt Carol]

I had CRPS, the doctor said it was incurable, but I proved them wrong and am now successfully showing my ass crack on social media. Follow me for more inspirational ass content. ARE YOU WATCHING?

Imagine being such a saddo that you have to convince your imaginary friend to have sex with you.

oh my god forgive my doublepost but I'm ltierally SO enraged, SNAILS ARE NOT SLUGS AND CHIPMUNKS ARE NOT SQUIRRELS WHAT THE FUCK

Even the spiders are TERFs, what fucking bigots.

He told you: it's done to keep the illegal immigrant spiders in their caves so they don't eat ethnic Greeks

 

[CaddestSlown]

Jesus loves you, but the rest of us would be happy to see you die in a fire.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I don't like fat people.

When will Disney make a movie with swords protruding from their nipples? Never, that's what!

 

[Harm]

Paul McCartney (from the band The Beatles)

 

[Autistic Joe]

Kiwisisters, would you rather kiss Nikki's fiance, Russell Greer, or Stolas' cloaca?

Death. I choose death.

 

[Sooty Soot]

I like to imagine a scenario where Troonbonista is deployed as a female IOF soldier in the Gaza envelope during Operation Al-Aqsa Flood.

She gets woken up to the sound of gunshots and screaming outside her barracks. Before she's even able to react strong muscular Hamas militants come over and easily wrestle her to the ground and start tearing off her olive green t-shirt and PT shorts. Then, they take turns raping her tight zionist pussy. She's unable to do anything due to how muscular the istishhadiyun are as they rape her ruthlessly. Each time one of them finishes, whether it be in her mouth, ass, or pussy, another one IMMEDIATELY takes his place and continues pounding her for hours on end. When they're finally done they gag and ziptie her, put her on the back of a Toyota Land Cruiser and drive her through the Gaza wall. They then bring her down to their tunnel complexes deep underground, where her only purpose for the rest of her life will be to serve as entertainment and breeding stock.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

Claws, teeth, incredible strength and it can run as fast as a pony, and I'm trying to fuck it in the ass.

 

[Dr. Butt]

It is the internet, literally nobody gives a shit if you have tits, shut up.

 

[Gentlebastard]

There is now a nonzero chance that the Iran War was partly planned in a sticky cafe in Disney World.

"Plaintiff doesn't think it be like it is, but it do."

You love to see it, from afar. Very far.

"Well well well...if it isn't the entirely predictable consequences of my own actions."

As much as I want this case dismissed, the discovery would be too hilarious to pass up.

It's just the Stanford Prison Experiment except all of the guards have kyphosis and porn addiction.

Between that and that brownie-ception video my kidneys are trying to punch their way out through my eyeballs.

BUT WHAT ABOUT CATHOLIC PRIESTS PUTTING EGGS UP THE ASSES OF ANIME MEN!?!?

What is is, these people have simply not insulted, slandered and threatened everyone that disagrees with them enough. They need to do it more, and then everyone will respect and like them. Just need to push more.

Nords are nice, but sadly too nice to run a country. We need some kind of nation-wide fumigation company to clean up western countries.

 

[Dr. Butt]

You are usually wrong about everything.

 

[Meat Target]

Look at the size of the ears on that person. A stiff breeze could launch them into the stratosphere.

 

[Hillary Clinton's Ass]

Ralphapeace be upon you all (Ralphshallah).

"i wish i could hug her"

what a faggot simp bish

 

[Squanto Airi]

Nigga are you telling me Hitler would be making Overwatch porn if he was around today?

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Pumped Up Kicks: the Novel.

Very big distracting sweater puppies.

A little bit fascist, a little bit rock and roll.

Will Stancil is a Nazi because he doesn't hate the Jews enough

Ethan Ralph, Public Intellectual

Kiwi Farms is literally online ISIS

Paul Krugman deserves better than a cameo in Assigned Male.

The Norwood Reaper is circling

Is life really worth living if you can't even enjoy a nice goon sesh with the apex predators?

The media always likes to vilify sexual expression of heterosexual white males