random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[The Secret Sauce]

somehow he even fucks up being boring the one and only time it would benefit him

 

[Tablet County]

Also I've heard that, in the past ten years, the average Mexican woman's tits have grown 4 cup sizes. But only in Mexico. It doesn't work here.

Ah yes, when Jesus said this, he had internet drama between a cuckold and a 400 pound Canadian in mind.

I - for one - salute the Unreal Tournament Explosive Cum-Cannon.

 

[Tablet County]

He's kind of a big deal though. He gets the prestigious fire exit table at Amfest, with his fellow irredeemable Seinfeld-type castmates, interviewing such famous figures as "Girl Scouts Lady #4" and "Who da fook is that guy?"

Lmao pardon my language. Imagine saying nigger on the kiwi farms.

>Cow rock
>JOSHUA tree
I fear this world is not real

 

[Metamorpho]

Girls, stop fighting! You're both ugly and retarded!

 

[Aunt Carol]

Ah jeez guys, looks like our lord and savior the wogglebug is teaching about feelings or whateverthefuck.

*Kain is a real pooner who works the register at my local PetCo

I hope his cock grows back

 

[TheArtilleryman]

I mean I'm not Mediterranean so I'm pretty apathetic towards boys.

 

[tehpope]

One thing this arc has taught us, NEVER get between a man and his bull

 

[FrogMinutes]

Live or diarrhea; make your choice.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Bears don't eat cell phones.

 

[The Jewel of the Nile]

A gypsy ethnostate would closely compete with Haiti for who gets to be the worlds first 5th world country.

 

[Tablet County]

No, not every man is Chris Watts. Your husband will not murder you and your children because your three year old threw a chicken nugget at him.

Is mayonnaise a Jotch accessory?

Kikussy so good you start thinking it was 7 million

I won't stare at your tits now.
You've lost that privilege.

Fat, f****** suckable.Milkers are a Jewish siop.I knew it, I knew it.The jews made me love these big , old floppy f****** t****** and make me wanna suck all over god , d*** cakes

I talked to trudeau who is my cousin and he said the casino is cool and can stay so shut up nigger.

bitch is funny, in a retarded, throw your brain in a meat grinder - kinda way

getting props for coming off as a "normal guy and not a millionaire socialist" by user CATGIRLFUTALOLI

 

[gagabobo1997]

Such a 'woman' is called 'slut' or 'dumb whore retard bitch' because they inherently lack that which makes the connection two men are capable of creating; the primal force, the motive, in layman's terms, a soul

 

[GunCar Gary]

I woke to find an alien standing homosexually at the foot of my bed. He blew me like I've never been blown before - he understood cock mechanics for he had a great cock himself (I saw it).

 

[Tablet County]

I find it amusing that someone accused of tolerating certain kinds of pedophilia responds by calling the other person a Jew.

Spells broke. No more mana. Please insert five live chicken sacrifices for 20 MP.

 

[Lokenstien]

I have absolutely 0 evidence of it and its all speculation but i am pretty sure that they at one point or another has done something with his dogs and i think its important for alogs to pay more attention

 

[Dr. Butt]

I had to spend the first part of my life picking onions/carrots/peppers out of everything.

 

[Tablet County]

Nice tits, Dark Lord.

Why does this look like some NTR korean manwha webtoon.

Why do you know what NTR manhwas look like?

>REAL HACKERS LISTEN TO @UWU_UNDERGROUND
Where the fuck did you source this from?

I used to like Razorfist. Then I went looking for more information about him, and found Kiwi Farms. Fuck you, Dan.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I can empathise with the fucking jap salaryman having a tranny shove shit up his nose and anything from me to there

 

[CEO of Gay]

YOU LOOK LIKE WILLY WONKA'S DRUG DEALER!

 

[Gentlebastard]

He's too broke for a homeless shelter deposit. That last Taco Bell splurge really did him in.

"20 bucks for this guy to put his hands and mouth on you. 200 for him to not do that."

My favourite thing in a relationship is when my partner adds and removes body parts.
Keeps it interesting you know.

I just need to get myself a decent sized coffin and fill it with enough baklava and frogurt to get me across the atlantic and onto the great lakes and I will be all set to go...

She cannot even conceive of the reality that she is owed nothing.

BURT STAY AWAY IT'S A TRICK, HE'LL TURN YOU INTO PEPPERONI!

Wrap bacon around figs not Brussels sprouts, Brussels sprouts are chick repellent because it makes genitals smell like someone dug up a horse corpse. The above applies for asparagus as well. Plan accordingly,

The next goober to post a link with no screenshots or archive is getting put in a jar on my radiator.

The word “nuggets” occurs surprisingly often in this thread.