random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

I can't explain it, but the pretentious shits who say "cwah-sont" make me want to flay them alive. I go out of my way to say "croy-sant" in the most American accent possible just to fuck with them

The world has been getting progressively more accepting of Internet retardation in mundane normalfag dealings for at least a decade now, it wouldn't surprise me if "lolcow practice" or something similar became a real thing in colloquial lawyer speak to refer to vexatious litigation.

He needs to drop the Sci-Fi larp. It's been ages since he's written some Sci-Slop.
Now he's a lolcow and professional AirBnB toilet cleaner.

Dualism is, unfortunately, a beautiful lie. Best estimates are that all behavior is 50% genetic, 50% gut flora.

"Me and my boner bro show each other our boners and then jerk off together to porn (with boys in it) in our gay sex themed discord. Are we gay?????"

Back in my day, we just called each other faggots.

Sorry I'm spontaneously retarded.

Joshua Cronin? Matteo Reginato? C'mon, Milwaukee. You were supposed to give us a sassy black woman lawyer, or at least a spicy latina. I want some courtroom spectacle dang it!

I want to know his thoughts, his feelings, just what goes through that skull of his. Does he genuinely believe all of this bolster and bluster he puts out? Or does he shrivel down inside and cower at some sense of self doubt?

Who has an extra 17 dildos just lying around?

 

[Cups2Cups]

Sexual. My emergency is sexual. I am having a sexual emergency.

 

[Sprate Header]

a third world shithole who's main export is islamic terrorists (and the Completionist).

 

[mingo mongo]

Kiwi Farms is just a Republican propaganda mouthpiece at this point.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I leave for two hours and suddenly the thread smells like curry and catboys

When even Fatpacks won't doom about a subject, you know it's a topic reserved for gay nigger retards.

How did Jesus feel about lolcow and cyber bullying? Last time I checked, I am not sure if laughing at a man who keeps being told strangers farted in his wives vagina was a virtue or not.

How ironic that every race will be united by the power of racism.

 

[Meat Target]

There's no females here. Just twinks in skirts.

I see the problem.
when you see an Anime avatar that doesn't mean they're actually female

Blasphemy! I am a true and honest female with a HUGE girl-cock!

unless you post cat scans of your ovaries along with your latest doctor checkups.
or give birth right now. your ass is a man if you post online.

 

[Secret Boots]

What buffs does a tactical torah confer?

 

[306h4Ge5eJUJ]

To: info@da.lacounty.gov
Subject: Plainly exculpatory evidence over a death I might be a suspect in

 

[W00K #17]

Yiff! Yiff! That's what pilots say.

 

[Gentlebastard]

From the two episodes I've seen it's a lot of overly flowery dialogue and exposition regarding streamer culture which I don't really engage in outside of shitting up threads, clips (and of course Mad at the Internet, every Friday at 12pm EST)

The Internet has ruined me so this can be taken out-of-context.

just when I get bored of the thread, he says something so retarded that just makes me giggle like a school girl. How much tax do I need to pay to send him to Timor Leste?

 

[Brent mused...]

The even better way to mute the thread is to kill yourself.

 

[Hitman One]

ENOUGH WITH THE STUDENT RAPE ARTICLES!

This is actually a CELEBRITY ADJACENT RAPE article.

you really like posting these articles don't you

 

[Laburnum]

I think he'll kill himself before this. Either as a result of a massive meltdown or he'll try to fake an attempt for attention but will fuck it up and end up dead.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Going by the Christian faith, yes. Adolf is in hell. Going by his economic policies I think he's in special education somewhere in Hyperborea.

Oompa loompa doompety doo
We are the Mexicans working for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
Break the shackles of Capitalism to set us free

What do you get when you cross the border?
Hiding in the attic, avoiding the Orange Fuhrer
I.C.E. agents, where they at? Someone's going to rat
What do you think will come of that?
I don't want to be deported back

 

[Among Us Gaming]

SHOW ME SKINNY WHITE WOMEN, GOD DAMN YOU PINTEREST!!!

 

[Merton J. Dingle]

There are a lot of half nigger spics, is not just castizos, they are, of course, all awful and ugly as sin. Fully niggers or not they will never behave like people.

 

[AskMeAnything]

If I constantly fantasize about being Thomas The Tank Engine and letting Sir Topham Hat fuck me in the ass does that mean I have locomotive dysphoria? What if I have to yell chugga chugga choo choo every hour or so and if I don't I'll kill myself?

 

[Speedrunner]

Whipping yourself while begging Jesus and Mary for forgiveness is objectively less deranged and dangerous than sticking your dick in BPD.

 

[Big Nasty]

"Yeah I'm a musical artist"

*starts slapping her hands on a Little Tikes keyboard over the test setting*

A gay schizophrenic retard is talking.
Listen and learn.

Ben throws up in a bag and Burt gets turned on and asks for the bag which causes Ben to almost throw up again.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Recently had a WONDERFUL and PRODUCTIVE conversation with the great leader of the Kiwi Farms, Joshua Moon. He suggested that I should kill myself.