random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Hamplanet Fitness]

He’s going to lose his leg and blame it on lions, isn’t he?

 

[Meat Target]

if I didn’t know any better, her vagina candle scent looked like something out of GTA V.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

If taken out of context, this is pretty based and redpilled.

These guys really out here running a C-lister sex cult and it’s Chris Pratt and the Hillsong congregation that get the negative press.

Happenings are a flat circle

 

[Local Fed]

It's Bum Fights but with trashy venereal disease infested whores.

"Do you guys do crack? You smell like crack."

 

[CobraPlissken]

Would his inverted penis shaft skin sleeve pop back out re-verted, giving him a flaccid, hollowed-out penis missing the head?

 

[NyQuilninja]

having sex got us into this mess and i'm not sure if it's gonna get us out of it

 

[Meat Target]

an alleged rock

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I'm 22 stone in that picture you fucking spatially illiterate Jew.

 

[MediocreMilt]

Im not an animal you asshole, I use a bucket

 

[PhoBingas]

Now, it's been a while since I've read the bible, granted, but I don't remember that particular passage saying "Be fruitful and multiply...with hobos".

 

[NyQuilninja]

Strange. The transmission seems to be in good order, but the autism reading's off the chart...over twenty thousand!"

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

Lucas Werner's understanding of communism makes Phillip Haskins-de Lici look like the late Karl Marx.

 

[Friendly Futa]

Wait, seriously? Geez, one minute you guys are calling for skulls to be caved in the next you're not. Was it because I forgot to shift+enter and it looks gaudy?

 

[Penis Drager]

I am not a sex terrorist, okay.

 

[NyQuilninja]

Imagine China invading california and the army cant decide to shoot at them because they dont want to be seen as racist against asian, thats the kind of clown world we are right now

 

[Zero Day Defense]

The year is 2028. The tribe is running low on our T supplies; we are down to only three breeders, myself, Steve-O, and Brad. We lost Nick last week to the twink disease, he goes by Nick(y) now. We must brave the streets and engage in battle with the legions of tranny street walkers that haunt the ghetto; only in them do we find the blessed Gains Pills to take with our nightly feasts of Deenz, Chicken, Peas and Rice. I shall get in three extra reps at max weight tonight to honour the gods Zyz and Grizzly and ask them to watch over the tranny hunt on the dawn.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

They got rid of Ms. Frizzle's raw sex appeal.

 

[Meat Target]

Necrophilia ahoy!

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

 

[Bad Gateway]

Why play Chess when you can jump on the board and waggle your balls over the pieces