random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Nagibatel]

DJ Octavio is real and all he thinks about is fucking some fat piece of shit who is still stuck in her parent's house at 28.

My favorite one from @IOnceWasAWaifuFag.

 

[NyQuilninja]

Chris-Chan is retarded.

Webbigail Vanderquack and I will go on an expedition to Kumandra today.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

It’s just Pavlov’s Troon at this point.

Drink your semen and die, it's the new natural way.

Maybe this isn't the only gas-related solution the Germans should try again.

If black israelites will save us from the kikes, I'll buy them the biggest kfc bucket there is.

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

"I'm a spectrophiliac. I have a ghost kink. I guess you could say that the only guy I would sleep with is a dead one." -Sapphire Crimson Claw

 

[KiwiFuzz]

for all we know the stress caused the tumor to remember John McCain and sent him over the edge

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Put stuff in it and just press random buttons and eventually something tasty will pop out.

 

[Local Fed]

this one doesn't even try, it's just an ugly man with nail polish.

If kiwifarms has taught me anything, we will for sure see her butthole within a matter of months. Lolcows love taking pictures of their buttholes. It's almost a defining trait.

I can tolerate a guy fucking trannies, but using Linux is too far

You said you don't do drugs OP but maybe you should.

 

[LurkTrawl]

You know what, this Peetz dude doesn't seem like a totally irredeemable shitbag. Hell, if he'd shave his head, sport a goatee and get a Harley, I might even let him suck my dick.

No homo.

My sex is yes please

 

[Antipathy]

forum should be renamed to KKKiwi farms

Everything I know about granulation tissue, I learned from trannies.

The nig nogs are going to fucking go wild and the army is going to get called in and everyone is going to start saying fuck this sjw bullshit. I want to start seeing fucking antifa shot in the street

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

In the words of the our lord and saviour Terry A. Davis, "Y'all be a herd of nigger cattle".

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

“We are in this world of criminal justice reform, and I guess courts can look at that and say ‘well, it was just words,’” Kunzweiler said. “Yes, it was just words, but those words were directed at me and directed at my daughter.

 

[Fìddlesticks]

@Kate Farms Shill "I BELIEVE IN RAGE BANG"

 

[MediocreMilt]

I'm not even a Nazi myself, it's just really rare for a lolcow, nonetheless a fat junkie white woman with a spotty childhood, to actually get their act together. We outta start marketing this 'Nazism' stuff to today's OnlyFans/insta whores.

 

[Mr. Skeltal]

Scary that guns are in the hands of people who can't even make pancakes right.....

I'm about to comment, those dilator sizes are seemingly standardised, and suddenly wonder in horror: why do I know all this?

This is the...second most autistic thing I've ever wrote.

I can't wait for the Red Skull penis washing arc in the new Captain American cannon!

View attachment 2070806
sneed means the N.word doesnt it'

HOW.
DOES.
SHE.
SHIT?

Maybe she's a Wariosexual?

Griefing the farms is pissing into an ocean of piss.

If somebody insulted my lawn I'd drive to their house and shoot bullets into it at 3am.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

I can tolerate a guy fucking trannies, but using Linux is too far

 

[Monolith]

Cervixpiercer!?! CERVIXPIERCER?!?

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

 

[Antipathy]

For decades, the 400-strong community has worshipped Prince Philip, praying everyday that he would protect their banana and yam crops.

Walls of skulls of traitors and enemies are, on the contrary, the manifestation of the purest empathy towards one's people.

 

[NyQuilninja]

Is this why Popeye's wouldn't give me any cocktail sauce for my shrimp?

Because that was my Vietnam.

Time to quit my job and be an online snitch

Social Credit System with Western characteristics.

Have heard before that you fight a black, play dead with a brown. When I’m in the woods alone, I always try to make noise: stomp my feet, cough, whistle. Just can’t imagine getting into any kind of wrestling match with a bear. What are you supposed to do? Poke their eyes out?

I have a deep and abiding phobia of bears. So, I torture myself reading accounts of gruesome bear attacks. This one in particular stuck in my mind:

Drama in Real Life: Rogue Bear on the Rampage

A tragic true story of heroism in the face of horror from the Reader's Digest archives, originally published in 1999.

www.readersdigest.ca

In all seriousness, I try to avoid backcountry trips when I’m on the rag.

My friend simulator appears to be malfunctioning

Hypothesis: like ten retards show up and they all have rough buttsex in a alleyway with some bored feds before making a semi-loud scene at a old Chicago then going home.

Unsure whether the mountain lion/manlet sperging is better or worse than the gun sperging, but good fucking god we have a lot of autists in this thread.

You two should fuck already.

When do we start talking about radioactive alpacas fighting against heavily armed mountain lions?

 

[The Un-Clit]

a skitzocow said:

The fourth terror assassin had been cut in the head and neck area, and was choking while walking away with a Walmart escort from the Walmart Service Counter.

After that, I had to ring up the four banana’s I wanted on a separate receipt.

It's a shame StoneMan is most likely gonna die of sepsis before he can grace us with too many more tales of epic swordfights with Canadian terror soldiers at WalMart and destroying his neighbors who are fogging the air with nitrous oxide by flicking his bic.