random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Positron]

 

[Anne Hyroe]

why would Christ be talking to me through a schizophrenic pedophile

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I'm glad you asked. Now you have to suffer with me.

 

[CatParty]

‘I spent five hours online trying to tell them how transphobic and offensive their language was, but they believe they have done nothing wrong.’

 

[Internet Explorer]

Yeah, it sucks being a nearly 20 year old virgin who never kissed a girl. It fucking hurts.

 

[TV's Adam West]

Quit your fucking whining over a chick who boils hamsters.

 

[Snuckening]

His dick seemed pretty functional when he was delivering chicken sandwiches and marveling at its bulging glory.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Whenever I see headlines like this I get a little hope the final solution to the troon question is finally being implemented.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

It's not as easy as it seems. I've been relentlessly mocking them online for 2 years and I still don't have a body count.

I eat my horse paste on a cracker. YOLO

 

[Meat Target]

Calm down, Norwegians aren't coming.

 

[NyQuilninja]

I've seen it. Look up my thread on anal vibrators.

i -hate- -niggers- so -fucking- much

A Penthouse raped me. Still have the papercuts.

Be careful. I brewed my own beer using ground ivy and dandelion instead of hops and accidentally drowned a small village with my nocturnal emissions.

i only get off to porn if it states my political views first

 

[Meat Target]

It's like your brain short circuits upon seeing the first absolutely retarded thing Bobby posts and you can't go any further.

 

[Just Another Apocalypse]

Teaching people how to force demons to burn evil people alive

 

[Meat Target]

How do you ironically get raped?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

...I hadn't noticed that. Is it too hard to model them without their jackets? Well, I already know it's not, fan animators have them modelled fully nude with gigantic dicks and they aren't paid.

 

[Blackhole]

I assure you that the genocides were unironic. My fighter had to secure the existence of his people and a future for goblinoid children.

I was just about to say "How does he prepare food in there" but let's be real the closest he gets to preparing food us heating up a hungry man or ordering mcdonalds.

This is prime random.txt material.

"ooh yes please daddy fauci, inject me with your cum serum" - literally you

Oh no. Heaven forbid that there isn’t a fucking coveted smut factory HQ in the US.

Sorry you know have a screwdriver lodged in your back, sweetie, but that's the price of diversity!

Your honor, I was raping her ironically. I wasn't being serious.

You post your shit here and chimp out online. That’s about it. Kill yourselves losers.

 

[Pee Cola]

If we gave your dad a second chance he would have wanked into a sock after that post.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

You have entered the universe beyond clown world.


Mime World.

Why, on God's green Earth, would you move IN to California?

 

[TV's Adam West]

Courtesy of @JaneThough
Dude I don't come into your shithole country and knock your sisters cock out of your mouth, keep your opinions of American politics to yourself, at least until you know anything about it. Fag.

 

[Meat Target]

Not one single person cares about your personal experience with IBS or whatever you have.

Normal adult people think "going to Disneyland while sick" is a circle of hell, not an aspiration.

Fuck you, I’m buying hipster donuts