random_text.txt

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

any Kiwi Farms member who spots Greer in public is legally entitled to put him over their lap and give him a sound spanking

Bob only cares about big explosions, scissoring, and nazi punchings.

Who is this handsome daredevil called Joshua Moon? We should invite him here.

Gen Z is utterly retarded

 

[Hitman One]

Anime pfps are highly respected around here, particulary so by the site's owner, Null

 

[Tablet County]

Wait, so we're the providers for random.txt.? I thought the lolcows were the ones being quoted lol.

No john, you are the lolcows

 

[Gentlebastard]

along with my intricately detailed dreams of sexually violating fatrick I am now also considering how one would hypothetically process him into meat products I might throw into something like a Gumbo or Jambalaya or the weird ass Cajun Cassoulet thing I made last night

The sheer number of things he's capable of being belligerently wrong about still astounds me.

How dare you insult the inventor of the Beef Unwellington?

I am at this very moment prepared to claim that his efforts into cooking are as much a crime against food as his efforts at writing are a crime against language in general.

his face is a crime against anybody who has the ability to see visible light

The brakes, who the fuck needs BRAKES?

Most people would die of shame first but I could see Trannys actually doing it.

ITS A MA'ADAMS APPLE YOU BIGOT

I tend to just scramble any eggs I'm making if the yoke breaks. Early morning, hung over, having steak and eggs, one of which is sunny and the other is scrambled. To be young again.

Whatever it is, I imagine a humpty dumpty shaped indent in that part of the couch.

Do you think there's basketballs and empty buckets of KFC chicken under his porch like there were bikes and sex toys under Ronald Brown's?

Hey fuck you, scrambled eggs mixed with chorizo is the shit

 

[Snaaake]

Time to establish the Kiwi Farms as a church and start the Kiwi compound.

Context: In response to the "Self-Sufficient Meta" thread.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

I legitimately don't understand sending dick pics to anyone, for any reason. It's a live event, not a national monument.

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

FUCK ALL OF YOU I AM PROTECTING @Meiwaku HER TITS ARE A+

HOT HAPAS ARE ALL I NEED

Tbh I've banged worse.

yew fukkin wite dawg karnt giimme munee of the gubmint, i got 48 grankids to feed yew fukken wite dawg karnt

Explain how I'm wrong and try not drooling while you do it.

A minor lied on the internet? This is unprecedented.

*clicks I am 18 box*

I hate this place.

It's not that bad, could always be worse.

I tried to post my cock in the dm chain but the file was too big

This is some fucking bullshit, how come whenever there's a sexy DM like this, I'm not invited?
I'm gonna fucking hurt someone, chat.

lol

lmao

Lmao here we go again!

This shit is why we can't have anything nice.

im ruthlessly torturing my prostate with a massager on full blast rn, god i love gooning.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LAUGH AT RETARDS, NOT JOIN THEM IN DEGENERACY.

These god damn DM chain leak threads have been a fucking goldmine

 

[Gog & Magog]

Try it, shit on your countertop

 

[Poonocchio]

365 days of niggerhood. Just sold my first crack rock

 

[pikachudidnothingwrong]

Wait, so we're the providers for random.txt.? I thought the lolcows were the ones being quoted lol.

It's really a mix of everybody.

 

[AnOminous]

"My wife just told me the jews are now sending us Chinese food."

 

[Aunt Carol]

I am not into fruity anime twinks getting the pipe.

Married people are getting sex the same way they get Costco-sized pallets of bottled water. You just get through so much of it so quickly.

 

[Meat Target]

Can we make it so a little version of MS Clippy shows up if the software detects you're angry/scowling as you buy?


"It looks like you're extremely upset. Are you sure now is a good time to buy ammo?"

* No, I probably should go cool off.
* Yes, the rotten summbich deserves it.


"Would you like to buy a larger caliber? Just to be safe?"

* No
* Yes

 

[Dr. Butt]

"You yank my dick if you like this job, kid!"

spraying period blood at chuds like a skunk

Double Hitler all across the forehead.

 

[Abella]

She was banned for being too sane for this site full of nutjobs.

 

[Tablet County]

as a white man the worst slur you can call me is a nigger.

 

[pikachudidnothingwrong]

This is why neuroticism and paranoia is ultimately useless. You can be a no-fun shut-in all your life, and still get wacked by something completely ridiculous like this. Man plans, God laughs...

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

I mean there's cucked. There's being really cucked and forced to wear a cuck cage. And then there's being a Californian.

My spelling is fine. Your just an bigot

Warning: Spoiler contains ass-penis.

Space jewish lasers
Russian energy retardinator

I wanna live in a world where women are gaslighting their boyfriends to let them hit them in the nuts

 

[Tablet County]

Imagine fucking your mom and she moans, "Harder, Daddy". That would be confusing as hell.

I am not going to imagine that...

 

[Harvey Danger]

i don't play nip games. Kirby is Aryan

(across two related posts)