random_text.txt

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I've developed Super Sperm-- they fly through the air and home in on ovulating uteruses with 99% accuracy. They can even take temperatures up to 2,750 degrees Fahrenheit.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Truly dark times for American LEA if every swat call does not end in multiply fatalities be they innocent,guilty or complete bystanders.

From @le4feon

 

[Aunt Carol]

You know, say what you will about Rachael Ray, but at least she doesn't seem the type to get her pubes in your mac and cheese while chirping like a bird.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Monster High (and almost every other cool doll line) got co-opted by groomers

Corporate America of course loves this it's the same reason they like homosexuals (no offense meant fag kiwis).

so once more, fuck you malcom for taking my fucking blue eyes.

This shit came out a lot more rambling than usual again, my ass is out of it and multitasking typing about fucking POKEMON CARD SCALPERS.

 

[Skitarii]

" "
" "

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Come out ye boss-eyed trans

I used to lick the floor pretending I was vacuum, I used to love the smell of mom's nail polish so I would secretly put a few lines of it under my nostrils so I would sniff it.

I sure hope THEY/THEM stops raping children and THEY/THEM stops letting children eat bullets. THEY/THEM sure is a bad person, but THEY/THEM doesn't represent all trans and nonbinary faggots.

She thought we weren't autistic enough to compare the toes.
But we are.
We are totally autistic enough to compare the toes.

maybe he was born with it, maybe it is Portuguese

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Have you ever heard the impact of an RPG?
Or cleaned a dirty rifle caked in mud?
Have you shot with all the calibers of rifle?
Can you paint with all the colors of their blood?

 

[blacksmith tony]

Who of us here doesn’t have toilet mustard?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I'm only listening to this one, because none of these men have a license for wearing short shorts on camera.

 

[Table Country]

FAT. LET ME TELL YOU HOW FAT PATRICK HAS COME TO BE SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD FAT WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE FAT ENVELOPING PATRICK THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FAT. FAT.

When Jim dies of cancer, I want to get his dick bronzed and turned into a pipe so I can put Jim's dick in my mouth while I smoke. Then when someone comes into the thread and accuses everyone of having Jim's dick in their mouth, I can puff on my pipe and go, "I sure do!"

Ralph , is that you ?

"They're growing so fast. My little pigeons left me all alone. I need vodka. How about you?"

 

[Aunt Carol]

Beating up retards has been a serious crime for decades.

how nice to see the adequacy.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Well that's good, people should leave KF happier or wiser than when they came in, and I doubt anyone is leaving this wiser.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Islam (or at least some schools of jurisprudence) is one of the few religions that thinks masturbation is a good thing.

A dick sneezed and someone caught a baby.

Now I want a death metal song about some guy being denied food while playing over at a friend's house.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You aren't visibly queer, you're visibly retarded.

On today's episode of "Shoving Maggots Inside Stupid Places", we have not one... but two videos.

 

[I am vomit]

Personally I don’t approve of stomping babies.

Throwing banana peels in front of pregnant women as they’re walking down stairs, that’s a different story.

Face it: These Gaydens are like walking, talking, queefing Kiss concerts

Who of us here doesn’t have toilet mustard?

Fellow men, have you guys had your glans refresh recently? Has anyone read the patch notes and knows what’s in this month’s update?

Oh hey, it's a 2005 model Mall Emo. That thing's more of a collector's item than his Beemer.

When the troller of pedos is a spic, does it count as an Alien vs Predator spinoff?

He's a psychopath and a sadist

but worst of all he's canadian

 

[Skitarii]

You will never be Napoleon.

 

[MediocreMilt]

becoming a mom against her will

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/in-a-d...glimpse-of-expanding-medical-mistrust.123030/

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/in-a-d...glimpse-of-expanding-medical-mistrust.123030/

But the rest of that paragraph is even better:

Some parasite would be eating her from the inside, and she’d have no way to get it out. She’d be entrusted with some delicate being, and no matter how careful she was, it would shatter.

 

[Blackhole]

I don't think there's any mystery here. The Enemy sook to corrupt the Ummah by promoting a Lebanese 6 with bad fake tits. This isn't anything new- they've tried tactics like this many times before.

"Watching a girl get fucked by Ron Jeremy is about as sexy as watching a stray cat get crushed by an overfilled trashcan"

If performing in porn was such a positive thing, the most common causes of death wouldn't be suicide, drug overdose, violence, and AIDS.

Nacho Vidal caught Reiter's Syndrome, which is an incredibly painful form of arthritis, after getting treated for gonorrhea and other STDs 50+ times and is currently being charged with manslaughter after engaging in a ritual involving deadly toad venom that killed a journalist.

What a fascinating analysis of things I don't want to know about.

I've never watched shemale porn, but I'm a left leaning liberal and so I sypathize with your plight and I'm terribly sorry.

Experts call that "Homosexuals".

They are charging their JO crystals.

Anyone here ever watch Brazilian fart porn? Portuguese is such an ugly fucking language.

I think Japanese porn is the worst. It's mainly women making crying baby noises while some Jim Norton looking midget in tighty-whities sucks on their tongue before poorly fucking them with his tiny pixelated dick.

are midget stockings just socks

by definition, everybody who likes shemale porn is gay

Personally I hope Manuel is racist. Makes it much easier to self insert into his scenes.

Nothing like watching a depressed cynical alcoholic hanging out with his wacky cartoon pal.

 

[Jack Awful]

Has it ever occured to you that you are the definition of reddit