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I have two funny quotes from articles from The Onion:

"Panel attendees should be forewarned that Emperor Palpatine is hesitant to discuss the Naboo conflict."

"I actually go out and spend money on supplies for Rocky Horror. Supplies. For a movie. How idiotic is that?"

(P.S.: I actually like Rocky Horror, but I found the article where this quote comes from funny.)
 
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You believe in the Fabian marketing conspiracy that is the hygiene industry. My fucking God, how densely obtuse a purportedly "well-functioning" pillar of the community does one have to be to endorse such a dissonant hypocrisy so unironically without perturbation? Jesus fucking Christ, you are a tool.
 
Mikemikev said:
"I'm planning a showdown in the streets of London. I've been practising with nunchucks. (Yes I know it's nunchaku)"

"I'll find you and the first thing you'll know about it is when a devastating roundhouse kick slams into your face."

"It's going to be amusing when you come face to face with my towering manly form and shit your pants in terror. And I will show no mercy."
 
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