random_text.txt

[Big Nasty]

You know you're from the midwest when you do acid and then shit yourself at Loaf & Jug.

 

[Grub]

PS for the love of god do not stick in the pooper, that is haram and not kosher. You can quote me on that one.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I don't want to touch grass, I want to touch waifus

 

[anustart76]

...

I can't actually take credit for that quote, it's something Vee on said on one of his YouTube streams a while back

 

[Bloitzhole]

Poop yourself in prison, stalker

 

[Pedophobe]

"Shall the shameless do as they please, and the decent suffer what they must?"

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Other than Bruce Brony there, none of them look remotely like guys, so I guess Asians win at trannyism yet again.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

She's literally insane. She's been mega-doXXXed and is a known quantity. Absolutely nutso-bongo, completely out of her mind.

Warning about that second one, Ane Naru Mono: its a prequel to a shotacon hentai.

 

[Meat Target]

I remember when we used to beat faggots with sticks.

*Sigh*

Good times.

 

[NoReturn]

Thats the world boomers grew up in you could literally be coded as a drug addicted pedo and have no qualifications and still snag a job that makes you more money than a assistant store manager at costco. Thats literally how good shit was back in the 1980s.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

Like pinochio said in the movie: "I am a real boy, fuck me in my butthole"

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's not a "brain says no, body says yes" kind of deal, it's more like "brain vomits, dick retracts" kind of deal.

not to sound like a murderer, but i would love to see her skull.

Literally too stupid to be in the midwit club.

"Sure, pedophiles are bad, but you guys are worse because you're MEAN!"

Didn’t he brag about a girl dying on his watch as a life guard?

why would you care about an online memorial? Those exist to be defaced like Art Center signs exist to have F spray painted next to them so they read “FArt Center”.

what the fuck? Why is this on featured?

Because go fuck yourself nigga.
This is Kiwifarms, we're retarded bitch.

Wait I thought that Kiwi Farms was ontologically evil

Everything I say here is
a) completely factually correct
b) based and awesome
and
c) if you disagree you're literally retarded and autistic.

Gimmick poster forgot his gimmick. Sad. Many such cases.

Add “drinking pregnant mare urine” to the list of fucked up things I’ve googled because of this place.

Bullshit though it may be, it's amazing that it never occurs to troons that "Nuh uh! We've been gulping animal pee for eons!" doesn't make them sound less like Evil Dead demons.

 

[Hitman One]

Autism IS demonic. Autistic community has an entire forum where they plot to harass and kill innocent trans women.

 

[Poonocchio]

Can I hold your rotdog while you piss?

As a clitoris-haver, OW. Bitch put it back in before it falls off!

Only with trannies do you get phrases like "my dick's in the shop, but my cock mechanic tells me it will be working once the new parts come in."

 

[Aunt Carol]

That guy's blog is the easiest online diagnosis of Asperger's I've ever made.

 

[Lithuophile]

She also was afraid of a user named mr.moon1488

 

[Croaking Spider]

If you're having to come up with Ed, Edd & Eddy style 4D chess schemes just to bed BPD women, you may as well kick out a chair.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

There's a few versions of this, for both cultural and political. I can't write them out as nicely as The Narcissist's Prayer, but it's interesting to watch the stages of the argument as they lose ground. It's like clockwork, and they often retreat to previous stages of the pattern as they lose ground or run out of excuses as to why you should either stop noticing things right the fuck now or at least stop talking about it in public, damnit.

The Narcissist's Prayer, for those who don't know it by name, is:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

So. Scandal affecting a lefty tribe politician?

X didn't happen.
Ok X did happen, but it's being overblown.
Ok X isn't being overblown, but it's not that bad.
Ok X is as bad as you say, but everyone has done it so you can't complain now.
Ok X is actually a new level of shitty behavior, but it's already been done so what can you do?

Someone calling out lefty tribe behavior? (Grooming children for example.)

X isn't happening.
X isn't happening, but here's why it'd be a good thing if it did.
X is happening, and that's a good thing, and you're a bigot if you complain or talk about it.
X has always been happening, what are you getting upset about now?

My current favorite is the cultural one that's cropped up lately. The Zombies have been trotting this out on twitter like clockwork ever since that bald youtuber had a freakout about the latest Bethesda Goyslop game. Any mention of woke bullshit in games gets the following reaction:

X isn't a big deal, so you shouldn't complain.
X doesn't matter! So it's silly to complain about it.
Y is a thing so you have to accept X, too.
X has always been in gaming, so you can't complain.
X doesn't matter but if you try to remove it we'll stop you, cause it doesn't matter so much.

The answer in each stage, no matter what, is "stop complaining, accept and normalize our batshit insane subculture being inserted into your hobby."

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

One time a particularly weird motherfucker I know actually said to a girl he was fucking "let's have sex while you're on your period and it'll be like ketchup and ranch"

Congrats Heinz, you disgusting fucking weirdos

 

[Meat Target]

Watching movies made for literal children while getting wasted off Mr. Boston Butterscotch Schnapps till 2am on a Wednesday is what successful middle aged men do.

Client smells like he has not taken a bath in a long time. Hygiene will be a sensitive topic that will have to be discussed at some point".

'All I have is myself and the 10,000 roaches I live with' ".