random_text.txt

[BrunoMattei]

Gay blowjob porn. Thanks guy.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

All faggots are gross pedophiles

Crackheads and fentheads are so insanely dangerous and deranged looking that if whatever part of your brain sends out danger signals doesn't start firing off like crazy you're a genetic dead end and a defective person.

 

[CEO of Gay]

The recipe appears to be two pinches of shitposting per pint of policy, mixed with about three tbsp of incredulity with a caramelized creme coating of anti-establishment sentiment.

 

[JustSomeDong]

God is absolutely a farmer.
According to Enoch. the first 3 shallowest layers of heaven are dedicated to observing and recording the dumb shit people do.
Kiwifarms is ironically the closest thing to heaven on earth.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

"FUCK YOU DAD!"
"please son I just want to make sure you're not going to kill yourself"
"DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A SOYJAK IS?"

>can't pronounce the guy's name
>says it was mispelled then admits it was his own jacket
>devolves into niggerbabble

 

[BirdUp]

Observe the indolent young men of today: their brains sleep. Not one of them can stay awake in the pursuit of a worthwhile project. Their minds are possessed by sleep, laziness, and an industry in the pursuit of wicked ends more reprehensible than sleep and laziness. Lubricious pleasure in singing and dancing rules these effeminates. Their preferred way of living leads them to arrange their hair exquisitely, to mould their voices until they are as sweet as those of women, to compete with woman in the softness of their bodies, decking themselves out with filthy fineries.

 

[brapbruddah]

"What do you love most in Rainbow Dash? The wings?"

The beautiful pegasus, brash and brilliant in her personality. I would want to be her housestallion. She's amazing, witty, a bit bratty, and a great pegasus. I fell in love with her since that first episode I watched in mid 2014.

As long as I live, people like you seethe. This site is the greatest protection to prevent me committing suicide. Give me more negative energy, I use photosynthesis to convert it into power.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

It's Autism and Niggers, not Articles and Happenings.

 

[macrodegenerate]

The fuck does smtp even stand for? Suck my tranny penis?

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

They threw in an extra Q in the acronym. Right next to the other one. Because there are theoretically some people out there who saw the one Q and thought "this Q isn't inclusive enough for me, I'm the other Q"

Real hoejabi shit.

First, this is a legit nigger moment and everyone involved screams massively high niggerchlorian counts and hoodrat mentality and second, everyone who paid $500 for a ticket is probably a pedo and should be on a fucking watch list

I hate slay... I hate slay... I HATE SLAY

Oh no this guy jacked it on a pizza

They're right. If my dick could kill a man at 150m, I'd never carry a gun, or wear pants for that matter.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I love schizos so fucking much, based lizardman nooticer

Every day I wake up and thank god I don't live in Canada.

This is vintage, wagyu lolcow, the kind my ancestors hunted on horseback back in the aughts.

>Be Canadian
>Kill yourself

Kiwi farms does this every day what’s the difference?

We don't jerk ourselves off pretending to be good people.

Wind turbines make me want to fedpost in a bad way.

i always have to eat crow when it comes to these stories. before maid was a thing i was for it and regurgitated the talking points about how this kind of thing would never happen. it was nonsense to think that doctors and nurses would just encourage people to kill themselves. how wrong and naive i was.

My brother in Christ, don't publicly admit to having a reddit account.

"Are you suggesting a woman can't have a scrotum?"

I know, it's complete bullshit. Just like when I talk dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment, but when a women talks dirty to me it's $1.99 per minute.

I'm sorry Mr. Violent Crackhead Hobo With A Knife, but you're not the right fit for our street communit-ACK

I feel like this a euphemism for cum. It's cum, isn't it?

Are the fucking Khmer Rouge back? These hysterics are getting absurd.

When I read that I got this horrifying mental image of a black guy walking into a 7-11 and ordering a virgin skittlebrau, explaining that the doctor told him he has to cut out the malt liquor so he wants it replaced with sprite

“No you don’t understand, our dicks are broken” yes I’m sure that’ll have the lesbians just lining up lol

"I got 99 problems but... no, I really do have 99 problems"

His panniculus was a thing of wonder, though. I can't remember the last time I saw one so pendulous and majestic. Truly, a thing of wonder.

 

[LurkTrawl]

I was having issues getting to my company's HR resources this morning and my legit first thought was "oh no, they found the Kiwi Farms account".

If there's anything I've learned over the past 4-8 years (and especially during my time on KF), it's that no individual or group is hated just because they are "different".

 

[Meat Target]

FYI the 12-foot skeletons are back in stock at Home Depot as of 0600 today.

 

[A Fucking Houseplant]

Watching a guy throw $21,000 on a single BJ play with 2 boxes made me feel ill for a second.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/austin...7-bossmanjack-irondollah.170347/post-18874819

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

I know you and Salt have beef

 

[Meat Target]

It's Autism and Niggers, Meat. Shame on you.

 

[Aunt Carol]

That headshot only makes sense if you’re a professional corpse fucker.

What a sad opinion to have about titties.

 

[Staphylococcus aureus]

When my roommate descends into his true form you will know as he is the one that will be the judger of the afterlife souls.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Casual reminder that the story is obviously fake and shouldn't be used as an excuse to discuss faggots fisting or how dilated one can make their asshole.

 

[Harm]

Drug him up like a zombie and feed him macaroni it's the only humane thing to do