BREAKING: ORANGE MAN DESTROYS ANCIENT

LACK

RADITIONS
Those two, specifically! Why those two days? Racism, obviously.
I mean, what other explanation could there possibly be? For proof, I'll show you a list of 2025 and 2026's fee free days. I hope you're prepared for the most racist thing you've ever seen in your life.
Well okay, it wasn't just those two days. In fact nearly every day changed. Almost like it's meant to be a rotating list of America-themed days peppered in throughout the year to encourage year-round tourism, or something.
But still! These days have been part of national park identity for generations!
Or...eight and two years respectively. Also MLK Day was added during Trump's last term.
BUT STILL
Don't worry though. The top minds of Reddit have figured it all out. It's not just racism.
This is clearly a way to take things away from the public! They're slashing all our benefits in the name of profit! Land of the fee, am I right fellow Redditors?
Except they added two more days, giving us more free days than we got in 2025. So uh...
Oh, I know. It's a conspiracy...
To celebrate his own birthday! He's a narcissist! A lunatic! He's turning our sacred democracy into a monument to himself!
Never mind the fact that his birthday is also flag day. And Trump doesn't choose these days. And flag day is a more legitimate holiday than "the anniversary of the Great American outdoor act". And the fact that Teddy Roosevelt's and George Washington's birthdays are also on there. And the fact that even if it was explicitly Trump's birthday, the birthday of the sitting president if a perfectly viable choice for a national park fee free day.
Never mind all that! Why? Because...
YOU DON'T KNOW
JACK
Oh, sorry. Wrong slogan. I meant to say "orange man bad".