Resident Evil - Virgin Vampire Wine Mom vs Chad Magnetic Lebowski

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Dom Cruise said:
Dang, I never even knew about this.

You're making me want to reinstall a game I never thought I'd touch again just for this, lol.
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Well, its the only really good thing RE6 has. And PC version gets Left 4 Dead characters too
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ENTER
CHADTHAN
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>is just a normal dude
>axes his crazy bitch wife in the neck
>shoots his crazy bitch wife in the face after getting his hand chainsawed off
>stuffs his severed hand in his pocket
>wipes out a whole army of mold zombies
>wins a chainsaw duel with a crazed redneck, who's experienced with the art
>kills a rogue bioweapon practically by himself
>becomes impervious to disease
>gains a regenerating factor on par with the likes of the Tyrants, but without the eventual degeneration
>in the next game, he's going to:
>genocide werewolves in Romania
>fuck a big titty vampire MILF into submission
>(probably) kill Chris "Boulder-Punch" Redfield
 
Duncan Hills Coffee said:
Beyond that, Ethan's an interesting protagonist because he's the first "everyman" character of the mainline RE games. A sequel showing what happens afterwards and what kind of new shenanigans he's getting into would be cool because we get to see how this kind of shit affects normal people as opposed to the superheroes that the other RE characters turn into
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Problem is, once a protagonist survives an RE game, they're no longer normal. Ethan has the fungus that can re-attach his limbs, and any dude that tracks down his missing girlfriend to a creepy-ass abandoned house with animal parts strewn about and decides "Fuck it, I don't need friends or back-up" isn't "normal" by most standards.

As for 8, I know a lot of people are hyped to find out what's going on, but I honestly think Capcom has written themselves into a corner, again. You'd be able to get away with justifying killing Mia, but Chris killing the baby is kinda gonna rub people the wrong way.

Tin Foil Time!: Ethan killed Mia and the baby was either never there or it died and this is all a result of the fungus in his brain causing him to ass-out in some random eurostan country.
 
Dom Cruise said:
I actually just replayed RE7 myself serendipitously enough.

I love all the stuff in the houses, especially the main one, there's something very spooky about taking a more everyday with everyday items laying about home and turning into a Resident Evil nightmare.

But that section on the boat just sucks, pure filler, all the house environments are surprisingly small and I wish there was more to them instead of the boring boat section.

What's there that's good in the game is great, there just isn't quite enough of it.

I also finally played the main two DLC episodes Not a Hero and End of Zoe, Not a Hero is pretty blah, but does at least reveal what the deal with blue Umbrellas is, End of Zoe is pretty good though, punching the monsters is badass and very amusing, there's something very funny about just putting up your dukes when confronted with a Resident Evil monster.
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It's hard not to feel that the game peaks at Marguerite's fight. I like Lucas as an antagonist because I dig the backwoods Jigsaw Killer vibe he has, but as a followup to Marguerite who has easily the most fucked up design in the game, he's a bit of a letdown. The game should have placed him between Jack and Marguerite, give them a little more space and make the game not feel so frontloaded with the interesting stuff.

I like what the boat is going for; the perspective switch is neat and the environment itself feels sinister, but it is the turning point for the game in that it shifts from creepy survival horror to a more action oriented feel. It doesn't quite work with the slow controls and somewhat clunky combat, and it unfortunately highlights how limited the enemy variety actually is. No matter what though, RE7's last third is undeniably weaker than the first parts.

I want to try the DLC at some point. I still never tried Not a Hero mostly because I completely forgot about it after it was delayed, but the rest you have to buy all at once on Steam and I don't quite want to spend the money right now.
 
@Absolute Brainlet you left out the part where he wins the chainsaw fight against a man wielding Ash's customized Sapmaster 3000 from Army of Darkness while he himself has just a bog standard one. When I fought Jack he even yelled out "Groovy!" as he pulled it from the body.
 
Burned Man said:
I'm starting to see the ending of RE6 in a new light. Chris wanted Piers to be his successor in more ways then one. That scene where we walks out into the sunset as the music swells isn't him returning to the fight but off to find a new mate for Claire.


That would make for some great files. "My anti hemorrhoid formula was a complete disaster not only did it not work it proceeded to turn all 37 subjects into wolf men. I proceeded to lock all of them in my castle's dungeon. I will start work on a cure for their condition once I perfect the hemorrhoid remedy. Edward Ashford." You find the wolf men in the dungeon still so you can guess what happened with the hemorrhoid remedy.


Neo Umbrella was dumb and I can only assume they had that name to be bait for the protagonists for some reason. They were already in Simmon's pocket who worked for The Family (who I hope are never brought up again) so its not like they needed a name to begin with. Blue Umbrella is them trying to own it and take responsibility for their legacy, its not like they can hide their past so why not try and re brand it, not to mention there's no such thing as bad publicity right.
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Honestly, I think a good direction for the Blue Umbrella plotline to go in would be for them to be more or less meant to live up to Edward Ashford's vision for Umbrella before Spencer more or less launched his coup that set the rest of the series in motion.

It'd be a good way to both expand on the origins of Umbrella and also tie the series back to Code Veronica, one of the more important games in the overall storyline but also one of the more forgotten ones.

Hell, if the mysterious vampire woman actually is meant to be a long-lost descendant of Edward Ashford and is the one behind Blue Umbrella, it'd make for an interesting twist and possibly help set up Chris Redfield becoming a villain.

Dom Cruise said:
It really is kinda weird how no one in the RE universe seems to fuck, isn't it? They've all been made into 40 something virgins due to having to fight monsters all the time, it's sad.



I'm ok with the idea of there being a "good" Umbrella in the form of blue Umbrella, I think that's an interesting idea.

For starters it makes the whole thing more believable to say that not everyone who worked for Umbrella was necessarily a mustache twirling villain.



I realllllllly hope they never bring up The Family again as well or anything else from 6 for that matter, I hope Capcom effectively pretends 6 just never happened storywise.
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Really, the only Resident Evil characters that actually do have any real romantic interest in the canon would be Leon and Ada, everyone else seems to do their own thing despite them all now being in their early forties,

The Family was ridiculous, but I think it could work if you retconned it into being more like the actual Freemasons or the real-life Bavarian Illuminati from the 1700's where it was more of a secret social club for rich guys and maybe that's how Spencer, Marcus, and Ashford all met and came up with the idea of founding Umbrella but are otherwise mainly irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

It'd be even more bitterly ironic if Edward Ashford was the one who invited Oswell Spencer and James Marcus and vouched for their initiation.
 
Coldgrip said:
Problem is, once a protagonist survives an RE game, they're no longer normal. Ethan has the fungus that can re-attach his limbs, and any dude that tracks down his missing girlfriend to a creepy-ass abandoned house with animal parts strewn about and decides "Fuck it, I don't need friends or back-up" isn't "normal" by most standards.

As for 8, I know a lot of people are hyped to find out what's going on, but I honestly think Capcom has written themselves into a corner, again. You'd be able to get away with justifying killing Mia, but Chris killing the baby is kinda gonna rub people the wrong way.

Tin Foil Time!: Ethan killed Mia and the baby was either never there or it died and this is all a result of the fungus in his brain causing him to ass-out in some random eurostan country.
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Baby? What baby?

RE8 is supposed to happen years after 7, but I don't remember anything about Mia being pregnant and I just played RE7.

Duncan Hills Coffee said:
It's hard not to feel that the game peaks at Marguerite's fight. I like Lucas as an antagonist because I dig the backwoods Jigsaw Killer vibe he has, but as a followup to Marguerite who has easily the most fucked up design in the game, he's a bit of a letdown. The game should have placed him between Jack and Marguerite, give them a little more space and make the game not feel so frontloaded with the interesting stuff.

I like what the boat is going for; the perspective switch is neat and the environment itself feels sinister, but it is the turning point for the game in that it shifts from creepy survival horror to a more action oriented feel. It doesn't quite work with the slow controls and somewhat clunky combat, and it unfortunately highlights how limited the enemy variety actually is. No matter what though, RE7's last third is undeniably weaker than the first parts.

I want to try the DLC at some point. I still never tried Not a Hero mostly because I completely forgot about it after it was delayed, but the rest you have to buy all at once on Steam and I don't quite want to spend the money right now.
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Yes, I too dig Lucas backwoods Jigsaw Killer vibe and the birthday puzzle is really fun to figure out the first time around, however on my second playthrough it was pretty easy to remember the solutions even though it had been a few years, seems like older RE puzzles were designs to make the solutions harder to remember.

The boat was somewhat interesting on the first go around, but completely boring to play through again.

Syaoran Li said:
Honestly, I think a good direction for the Blue Umbrella plotline to go in would be for them to be more or less meant to live up to Edward Ashford's vision for Umbrella before Spencer more or less launched his coup that set the rest of the series in motion.

It'd be a good way to both expand on the origins of Umbrella and also tie the series back to Code Veronica, one of the more important games in the overall storyline but also one of the more forgotten ones.

Hell, if the mysterious vampire woman actually is meant to be a long-lost descendant of Edward Ashford and is the one behind Blue Umbrella, it'd make for an interesting twist and possibly help set up Chris Redfield becoming a villain.



Really, the only Resident Evil characters that actually do have any real romantic interest in the canon would be Leon and Ada, everyone else seems to do their own thing despite them all now being in their early forties,

The Family was ridiculous, but I think it could work if you retconned it into being more like the actual Freemasons or the real-life Bavarian Illuminati from the 1700's where it was more of a secret social club for rich guys and maybe that's how Spencer, Marcus, and Ashford all met and came up with the idea of founding Umbrella but are otherwise mainly irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

It'd be even more bitterly ironic if Edward Ashford was the one who invited Oswell Spencer and James Marcus and vouched for their initiation.
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Yeah, it's weird how crucial Code Veronica is to the series lore despite technically being a spin off and not a numbered entry (even though it started as one) and how overlooked it often is, I myself didn't get around to playing it until 2015.

And yes, The Family would have been more interesting had it just been the Illuminati, hey, they were in Street Fighter III after all.
 
Absolute Brainlet said:
ENTER
CHADTHAN
View attachment 1373600
>is just a normal dude
>axes his crazy bitch wife in the neck
>shoots his crazy bitch wife in the face after getting his hand chainsawed off
>stuffs his severed hand in his pocket
>wipes out a whole army of mold zombies
>wins a chainsaw duel with a crazed redneck, who's experienced with the art
>kills a rogue bioweapon practically by himself
>becomes impervious to disease
>gains a regenerating factor on par with the likes of the Tyrants, but without the eventual degeneration
>in the next game, he's going to:
>genocide werewolves in Romania
>fuck a big titty vampire MILF into submission
>(probably) kill Chris "Boulder-Punch" Redfield
Click to expand...
Enter The VirginField
View attachment fuck.webp
>Started out as a Members of S.T.A.R.S. Far byond a normal guy.
>Loses Most of the team in minutes of getting out of the helicopter in the masnion.
>Saves A nice waifu in a mansion full of zombies, and monsters that could possble keep the Redfield line going, doesn't even try to fuck her.
>Becomes a laughing stock of Resident Evil heros because he PUNCHES A FUCKING BOUDLER IN A VOLCANO FOR 25 SECONDS STRIGHT TO MOVE IT. Rather then
>Spends a whole game hutning down a asain chick because he is too pussy to man up and go balls deep.
>Also his partner dies in that game as well because he gets sick of chris being a pussy.
>Can't even get Leon to fuck his sister.
 
ChucklesTheJester said:
Enter The VirginField
View attachment 1374486
>Started out as a Members of S.T.A.R.S. Far byond a normal guy.
>Loses Most of the team in minutes of getting out of the helicopter in the masnion.
>Saves A nice waifu in a mansion full of zombies, and monsters that could possble keep the Redfield line going, doesn't even try to fuck her.
>Becomes a laughing stock of Resident Evil heros because he PUNCHES A FUCKING BOUDLER IN A VOLCANO FOR 25 SECONDS STRIGHT TO MOVE IT. Rather then
>Spends a whole game hutning down a asain chick because he is too pussy to man up and go balls deep.
>Also his partner dies in that game as well because he gets sick of chris being a pussy.
>Can't even get Leon to fuck his sister.
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You get bonus points for the meme if you still have Chris be the muscle one and Ethan the skinny one.



You'll have a hard time to make me believe that Chris is a villain in any context. Its kind of hard after so many games to not give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he has a good reason to do what he is doing. Unless he gets some of kind of virus that turns him evil or something which seems like a possibility for this series.
 
Burned Man said:
You get bonus points for the meme if you still have Chris be the muscle one and Ethan the skinny one.



You'll have a hard time to make me believe that Chris is a villain in any context. Its kind of hard after so many games to not give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he has a good reason to do what he is doing. Unless he gets some of kind of virus that turns him evil or something which seems like a possibility for this series.
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Werewolf chris punching furry boulders. Or maybe it be vampire chris given Vampires vs Werewolfs is always a thing.
 
Redfield bloodline is kinda dumb but I love seeing these snowflakes triggered over a meme

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Someone should post this in response to every one of them.
 
Dom Cruise said:
Baby? What baby?

RE8 is supposed to happen years after 7, but I don't remember anything about Mia being pregnant and I just played RE7.
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The baby part starts at 2:36


ChucklesTheJester said:
Enter The VirginField
View attachment fuck.webp
>Started out as a Members of S.T.A.R.S. Far byond a normal guy.
>Loses Most of the team in minutes of getting out of the helicopter in the masnion.
>Saves A nice waifu in a mansion full of zombies, and monsters that could possble keep the Redfield line going, doesn't even try to fuck her.
>Becomes a laughing stock of Resident Evil heros because he PUNCHES A FUCKING BOUDLER IN A VOLCANO FOR 25 SECONDS STRIGHT TO MOVE IT. Rather then
>Spends a whole game hutning down a asain chick because he is too pussy to man up and go balls deep.
>Also his partner dies in that game as well because he gets sick of chris being a pussy.
>Can't even get Leon to fuck his sister.
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Chris is a badass for his boulder punching. Normal heroes (read: pussies) would attempt to use machinery or come up with a convoluted strategy to get the villain to drop the boulder on themselves. Chris goes the 100% chad route and decides to punch the thing because girls were watching.
 
Coldgrip said:
The baby part starts at 2:36

https://youtube.com/watch?v=UojfTw-Hl28:184

Chris is a badass for his boulder punching. Normal heroes (read: pussies) would attempt to use machinery or come up with a convoluted strategy to get the villain to drop the boulder on themselves. Chris goes the 100% chad route and decides to punch the thing because girls were watching.
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We all know the real reason. Wesker showed off he had the Bigger Black D(s), so chris had to try to look manly. Sadly it filed, and sheva still focusing on Wesker.
 
They made Chris bad guy because those two scumbags are american drama queers and they like to fuck with the audience like everyone else.
 
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