Reveal something totally unexpected about yourself - Shock and awe awaits - Don't powerlevel

Despite the username, Kari Kamiya is not my favorite Digimon character; Digimon's not even in my top 25--maybe 50 favorite shows (counting cartoons, live-action, and anime).

My eyes are really shitty to the point I'm legally blind without my glasses, and I'm hypersensitive to light. But I love going on walks even on hot days despite shades doing nothing for me.
 
In a former life I was a corrections officer. The job basically involved being constantly surrounded by IRL lolcows (both in prisoner jumpsuits and CO uniforms). Nobody can do that job for more than a few years and stay sane.
 
As a little kid I was quite good at deducing the metaphorical meanings behind song lyrics so I could often tell when my dad was having trouble kicking the booze or was having an argument with mum based on what songs he'd choose to play to wind down to. "True Faith" by New Order in particular was a sign that dad wanted to go out and have a drink but was having trouble with the idea of giving in to the addiction.
 
Despite my love for collecting skulls for my cacti garden and post-apocalyptic fiction/games...

I am too vanilla for edgelords and goths.
 
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