Reveal something totally unexpected about yourself - Shock and awe awaits - Don't powerlevel

I'm a pretty happy and successful older guy that's done a lot of what I've wanted to in life, but now that I've got a career where I don't move around much I've gotten super bored and just shit post all day while I have my managers and brother take care of my actual businesses. I only go to the office so I can feel like I'm not a lazy asshole sitting at home all day. While there, I mostly shit post here and in spergy aviation forums
 
I have very long hair, like waist long. Its mostly straight, but the ends are wavy, idk why.
My eyes are super small, and the fact that I wear thick glasses doesn't help.
I'm a tech geek, I absolutely love technology.
I'm learning to code by myself, but I'm a pharmaceutical sciences major.
I'm studying to be a university professor.
 
When I was a kid of about 4 or 5, I had an imaginary friend named Evil Patches. Patches more or less only existed so that I could have an excuse to be a little shit, as I would blame just about anything I got caught doing on him. Eventually when I got older and lost interest in imaginary friends, I came up with a story about Patches not being around was because he was shot dead. Fast forward a to a few years ago, I started playing Dark Souls and eventually I came upon Trusty Patches. Already I got slightly weirded out, but then he kicked me off a ledge to my death. I stopped playing for a good few weeks because in my naive little mind I actually believed that I had one of those bullshit creepypasta game moments and my old imaginary friend attacked me in one of my new favorite games.

I was a fucking stupid kid sometimes.
 
When I was eight, I used to play Alan Jackson for my cactus after reading a NatGeo (iirc) article about plants and the effects music has on growth/lifespan.
 
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