Let's Sperg Revolution 60: Game of the Year Contender

[Smutley]

Sucker Punch: The Game.

Holy shit, you weren't lying.

I've never seen the movie, but that isn't stopping me from wanting to give this a spin...

Also, in celebration of my 1000th post have some garbage without much context

Spoiler: Randomness

Minuete has been on 16 missions, some of them months long tours fighting terrorists in the trenches of Tumblr and through the blackness of Twitter.

See? Here's a mission where she's 360 no-scoping some hawties

Here's a faceless agent Minuete personally hired - he's gone on over 100 missions,

Try and find the easter egg in this picture!

Here Wu teaches us how to play the game using tricks I figured out by, what, battle 3?

Spoiler: Quotes

Spoiler: Propaganda

 

[Uzumaki]

Holy shit, you weren't lying.

Ha, I didn't even know there was a game. But the movie is pretty much Zack Synder's personal fetish project and is literally the worst movie ever made.

 

[Iä! Iä!]

Bridget Sarkeesian as the next president? Would explain the god-awful propaganda posters.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Aaaaand NOW I'm kind of in my element because if I can sperg hard about anything, it's fast wheeled vehicles. Hyperion's cost for what it is is goddamn insane.

You know what $30 million for motorcycles should pay for? If you gave me that much money and told me to do motorcycle shit, I could fund an entire MotoGP effort with that, and that's basically bike F1: the most expensive, most extravagant, decadent, high-performance expression of motorcycle racing in the entire fucking world. The most expensive single MotoGP bike costs something around...$2.5 million. Which means Hyperion-just ONE Hyperion, which in cutscenes appears to be just a really naff motorcycle-is something like TEN TIMES MORE EXPENSIVE than today's fastest, gnarliest 250-MPH track monsters. You don't put its neato Extreme-G sticky tires on something whose defining feature could be rendered moot by a good enough shot that can snipe the rider right off her mount or, you know, could drop her right off the seat if she loses her footing or something while it's on a wall or upside-down (and you don't not show them off at every opportunity like the rest of your heroine's sci-fi gadgetry, either). Why wasn't this thing a little shuttle or car with nice things like seatbelts, or an actual ruggedized military bike, which should look something like this. And I'm pretty sure one of this dwindling breed is way, way less than 30 mil! 30 million which is now scrap!

...on second thought, maybe 30 mil wouldn't be enough, if only because you'd need a rider who works on a cheap contract, and I don't see contesting well with that kind of incentive...

Hey, maybe the reason a motorcycle costs $30 Million is because the future currency has undergone hyperinflation.

Or maybe it's just because Wu couldn't be bothered to do any research and wrote down a large sounding number.
EDIT: I'm totally in favor of having a mega-thread where we play through terrible games.

 

[KingofManga420]

I'm really against a mega thread unless only one persons doing it at a time. It'd be a mess to sort through all that.

 

[Uzumaki]

I'm really against a mega thread unless only one persons doing it at a time. It'd be a mess to sort through all that.

Real there's really not practical reason not to give each bad game review it's own thread.

 

[KingofManga420]

Real there's really not practical reason not to give each bad game review it's own thread.

Thats kinda what I think too but I don't care if they want to do it that way. It's just not how I would do it.

 

[EI 873]

I wonder if the Chessboard propaganda is intended to be shitty. It's all so badly made, and the name "Chessboard" is so inherently untrustworthy, and the posters are all unconvincing...

... and then I notice "Bridget Sarkeesian" and, no, I'm pretty sure Brianna Wu is just a hack.

 

[Jaimas]

One of my favorite weapons is the Supra Heavy Tactical Plasma Projection Device, mostly because I pumped 6 FORMA into its development:

Spoiler: Jaimas Gunworx Special Project #001

One of many weapons produced by the Jaimas Division of the Shady Missionaries, this weapon discharges approximately 1400 rounds per minute. Fuck practicality. Fuck common sense. Bring a weapon powerful enough to kill every motherfucker the Void throws at you twice over, to the point where the Orokin equivalent of a Roomba will be cleaning up what's left for days.

Can your gun mow down 3 entire squads without reloading? No? Well then maybe your precious Blasters and Needlers better have a seat over at the kiddie table whilst I gunsplain some shit to you.

 

[Smutley]

I'm really against a mega thread unless only one persons doing it at a time. It'd be a mess to sort through all that.

Real there's really not practical reason not to give each bad game review it's own thread.

You guys are just witnessing my ignorance when it comes to forum cultures. I only said megathread because I thought it might clutter up a board where people actually want to have serious discussions about games. Honestly I just want to watch people people shitty games and play them too <3

 

[Cure Quanta]

Well, clearly the best compromise would be to let people make their own threads and then make a directory thread or a subforum if we get enough threads running, right?

 

[Lucky Wildcard]

It's probably bile fascination going on, but I'm curious to see the best possible ending in the game, if only to see how ridiculous it would be.

 

[Red_Rager]

I think the best compromise is to have an entire sub-forum for people to post their play-throughs of shitty games, but this could inspire AVGN knockoffs complaining how [name] is the shittiest game of all time and how they would rather eat [insert animal name] shit then play it. And then proceed to play it anyway for the viewer.

 

[Cure Quanta]

I think the best compromise is to have an entire sub-forum for people to post their play-throughs of shitty games, but this could inspire AVGN knockoffs complaining how [name] is the shittiest game of all time and how they would rather eat [insert animal name] shit then play it. And then proceed to play it anyway for the viewer.

What, here? Call me crazy but I think that shit wouldn't fly very far with us from what I can see.

 

[Red_Rager]

What, here? Call me crazy but I think that shit wouldn't fly very far with us from what I can see.

fair point, if anything it would provide content

 

[Trombonista]

It seems like this game went through a lot of spontaneous changes. I wouldn't be surprised if the only aspects that were there from day one were Holiday and her Hyperion. Also, how much do you wanna bet Holiday was originally named Kat?

 

[Andrew Noel Schaefer]

I think the best compromise is to have an entire sub-forum for people to post their play-throughs of shitty games, but this could inspire AVGN knockoffs complaining how [name] is the shittiest game of all time and how they would rather eat [insert animal name] shit then play it. And then proceed to play it anyway for the viewer.

That always sucks because there kinda is no "Shittiest game of all time" just as there is no "Shittiest movie of all time". Foodfight *almost* wins in that regard, but the problem is that no matter what, if its that bad people will enjoy it ironicly. And really, does that make something "The worst' if people actually enjoy it? Theres an entire community dedicated to Big Rigs ffs.

Really if there ever is a "Shitty game subforum", the rule should be "Dont be an AVGN ripoff". You can say a game is trash without acting like a early AVGN episode.

(Edit: For the record, I do like the AVGN)

 

[Jaimas]

That always sucks because there kinda is no "Shittiest game of all time" just as there is no "Shittiest movie of all time". Foodfight *almost* wins in that regard, but the problem is that no matter what, if its that bad people will enjoy it ironicly. And really, does that make something "The worst' if people actually enjoy it? Theres an entire community dedicated to Big Rigs ffs.

Really if there ever is a "Shitty game subforum", the rule should be "Dont be an AVGN ripoff". You can say a game is trash without acting like a early AVGN episode.

(Edit: For the record, I do like the AVGN)

"Let's face it, The Kiwi Farms are ruined!"

 

[Smutley]

Foodfight *almost* wins in that regard,

Foodfight is a little higher quality, ever so slightly. Revolution 60 is more comparable to Pony Trouble, Terror at Blood Fart Lake, or The Unknown Creature.

 

[KingofManga420]

Foodfight is a little higher quality, ever so slightly. Revolution 60 is more comparable to Pony Trouble, Terror at Blood Fart Lake, or The Unknown Creature.

Wow that Pony Trouble one was made in 2005. They lampooned Bronies 6-7 years before their hay day.