Let's Sperg Revolution 60: Game of the Year Contender

Should I kill a main character?


  • Total voters
    15
  • Poll closed .
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In all seriousness I like that the game said you did so badly you lose. I think it is a good example of when fluff and crunch blend. In game Holiday got wrecked in combat and failed to climb slopes how could we expect her to survive the mission. The way they picked to kill her was dumb because it didn't relate to your performance, she should have passed out while piloting the ship due to blood loss and too many painkillers and crashed into earth and died.
 
Part 12 - Intro Screens and Final Thoughts


Gameplay:
I think the video above is a really good indicator of Revolution 60 as a game. I mean, it is a game, and it is on an iPad. It does game things - it has a ton of stupid logos to hide assets being loaded, it is has a loading screen every 10 minutes as new set pieces are introduced, there are characters that can be controlled and a story you can watch.

But nothing is done WELL. Take the video above - what you're not seeing it me tap-tap-tapping the screen as the splash logos appear. Eventually my tapping causes the videos to stop, but it doesn't skip them. As with all the talk of mechanics take what I say with a grain of salt - but I believe the game either has 20 seconds of start time hard coded in (a very common theme in this game) while forgetting to disable video skipping, or the game has to spend time loading the barely animated start screen but still neglects to restrict you from "skipping" the logos. It's asinine!

I suppose the absolute nicest thing I can say about the gameplay is in more competent hands it would be mediocre. Having delayed gestures on a touch-operated tablet is just fucking inexcusable, and the combat would have been fine if it stayed that way for the first couple levels only.

Story: Well there was one. Here's my long-winded breakdown:
  • Chinese Terrorist All-Male All-Star Clone Team take over a space station
  • Chessboard secret agents, working with space station engineer, are sent to steal a Chinese space ship and dock with the station.
  • One of the senior operatives takes a grenade to the face and instantly dies, only to be resurrected as a SlaveBot.
  • The Mission Commander has sNRI resistance which is never explained how she has it, why it's only occurring now, and what it actually does.
  • Amelia is working on the side with someone - maybe Centre/The Pentagon, maybe an unknown entity.
  • A Chessboard Shard was "corrupted" and went insane by having to do her goddamn job. Instead of all the humans that maintain Chessboard removing the shard and smashing it with a mallet, it was instead inserted into a Weapons-Grade Geishabot and physically stored on the exact weapons platform with the exact Core that this now-corrupt AI would need to take over everything, up to and maybe including the world.
  • This Shard used electric magic to double-corrupt The Commander, who is now brainwashed and evil
  • Amelia is kidnapped because she is the only person who could unlock the Core for a corruptable AI OR for the very terrorists who have taken over the ship. No one in the entire US Government, Military, or Special Operations system thought that physically bringing her on this mission might not be a good idea.
  • Holiday is forced to kill her best friend (who stopped being a zombie because boots to the head cure amnesia), and had to be talked in to it, despite me spending the entire game being the biggest asshole in the world to her and mocking her injuries, near dear, and performance.
  • 10 minutes of bullets and bombs didn't even dent a GeishaBot, but a single sword thrust turns her in to a lunatic who suddenly gibbers about the thing Brianna Wu probably was researching so she could bore her henpicked husband with the knowledge of geometric names.
  • The most incompetent Holiday in the world fucks up saving the engineer that had The Code in her head - the same engineer that not more than 20 minutes earlier was being threatened to be killed. The very same engineer I might add that Crimson could have injected with nanites the absolute SECOND she was kidnapped. This unflappable, amazingly perfect AI could have conquered the entire ship before Holiday had even beaten up that Bruiser for the 3rd time.
  • Even though Minuete was both insane and corrupt, and even though following her orders are what get you "professional" ranks, Brianna considers Amelia and Rogue WORSE options. The worst option according to the developer is to try and help the government shut down their fucking system so it isn't taken over by the Chinese or a rogue AI system hellbent on destruction
  • Holiday is murdered at the end by an Amelia who gets corrupted by the corrupt AI, proving that she could have ended the whole thing the second they docked had Crimson not been cray-cray.

Final Thought: The gameplay was boring and laggy. The story was uninspired and full of holes, while the dialog fluctuated between mediocre to cringe-worthy. The entire bonus screen of the game, by the way, was links to Brianna Wu's various social media accounts and buttons to buy her fucking book. All this talk of sequels, and rich worlds, and engaging story, and female-centric gaming is so blatantly pandering it's unbelievable.

I believe Brianna Wu loves video games. I believe she plays them a lot, and she likes to talk about them and think about them. She's probably living out some kind of dream, except she's still a kid and never grew up. She's an 11 year old with a mental disorder that was given a couple hundred thousand and a famous husband with connections. And what we got was a game as filtered through the lens of a talentless crazy person. She's kind of to gaming what Wesley Willis is to music, or Ed Wood to movies.

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8/10
It's alright

(I'm working on a special surprise for you guys because of her goddamn book shilling)
((this is the spergiest thing I've ever written))
 
He also learned to model in 3d

Explains alot, really.

The orignal game did not have Crimson 09

Ah yes, Red Tits. Sure to be the next great video game villian. Big Boss, Seperoth, Bowser, and Crimson 09.

Amanda Winn Lee made me aware of the power of voice acting

Thanks, Amanda. I sure know who to thank when it comes to the bored reads of dialog!

Buy our comics and action figures and crap!

I WONDER WHY THIS ISNT A BEST-SELLING FRANCHISE, OUTSELLING GAMES LIKE CALL OF DUTY (a pretty good game series, actually) OR MASS EFFECT (a good series apart from the third. Go play Mass Effect 2 instead of this turd!)

FISSION MAILED

I dont know, but it looks like a win in my book!
 
But that is a GOOD game!
Insect Armageddon wasn't. >:P

In all seriousness though, I don't know a hell of a lot of games that I'd deem expressly horrible enough to be considered "bad" by the standards of this forum. I'd be hard-pressed to match Smutley with any bad game I've played, though. He basically just went through the fucking Bubsy 3D of iPhone games.
 
I would love for somebody to let me dig through the source code for R60. Yeah, I don't know shit about how iOS games work but if it's Object Oriented Programming then finding the dialogue strings and the actions behind player choices would be easy.

From there I could compile a complete flowchart to track the main avenues the game might have tried to steer players down, if for whatever reason there were things that you didn't end up covering, Smutley.
 
Insect Armageddon wasn't. >:P

In all seriousness though, I don't know a hell of a lot of games that I'd deem expressly horrible enough to be considered "bad" by the standards of this forum. I'd be hard-pressed to match Smutley with any bad game I've played, though. He basically just went through the fucking Bubsy 3D of iPhone games.
Go torrent Bad Rats or something, god. AMUSE US.
 
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Do more game reviews
Yes. Instead of book reviews.

Do not worry, I agree with both of those statements, but you guys still get a surprise <3

Smutley has encouraged me to do an EDF review later.

Maybe a fun idea would be a Bad Games Let's Play megathread, where anyone can pick a game and play through it for the amusement of the forum? I actually own a ton of shitty games because I have fun seeing how bad they are, like...

Go torrent Bad Rats or something, god. AMUSE US.

A dude I talk with some on Steam messaged me the other day with, "I just realized your achievement showcase only shows Bad Rats and DNF, how have you not killed yourself"

With the Steam Winter Sale starting most likely today, maybe I'll buy you guys copies of 2009 GOTY, since it usually goes for $0.49 a pop :)
 
THIS VIDEO IS PRIVATE

Christ the characters look like fetish dolls. By characters, I mostly mean Minute with her go-go dress that makes *absolutly no* sense as a millitary mission commander, but Val also gets the treatment. She has an excuse though, as I imagine that in THE FUTURE body armor has become skintight and lightweight because why the fuck not.

It's like Image Comics teamed up with Dr Seuss and the animation team from Foodfight! to make really, really awful porn

Been without net for a while so I'm still catching up on things I missed. Once I'm done I'll get right to the videos... because I hate myself I guess.
 
It's like Image Comics teamed up with Dr Seuss and the animation team from Foodfight! to make really, really awful porn

Been without net for a while so I'm still catching up on things I missed. Once I'm done I'll get right to the videos... because I hate myself I guess.
All I can think of is that unpleasant train of thought where one is like: "I'm certainly not being aroused by this, but I know somebody is, and that's making me uncomfortable."
 
All I can think of is that unpleasant train of thought where one is like: "I'm certainly not being aroused by this, but I know somebody is, and that's making me uncomfortable."
Like midget-on-giraffe porn, huh? :tomgirl:
 
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