Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Flexo]

One of my favorite things about Bob --

Ok, that phrasing doesn't really work.

One of the most intriguing things about Bob is that he can spew vile garbage 25 hours a day; insult, dismiss, or otherwise condemn to doom half the country; clearly believes his weaving of withering putdowns should earn him a place at the Algonquin Round Table ... and yet he is soooooo sensitive to the mildest of rebukes. IT'S BLOCKSVILLE, FRIENDO.

That and he apparently judges people for not doing research on every one of their followers. As if people don't have better things to do all day.

Oh and of course how dare you bring up his old tweets. Bob is so superior, he's got double the standards of any normal human.

 

[Red Hood]

That and he apparently judges people for not doing research on every one of their followers. As if people don't have better things to do all day.

Oh and of course how dare you bring up his old tweets. Bob is so superior, he's got double the standards of any normal human.

Vetting every idiot on Twitter's follow list to ensure they don't follow anyone problematic sounds like a great new grift.

 

[Doctor Stan]

Vetting every idiot on Twitter's follow list to ensure they don't follow anyone problematic sounds like a great new grift.

You'd be surprised at how much free time you have without a job

 

[HY 140]

If Necco closes down, Bob will mourn the loss more than he did with his grandma

 

[Mola Ram]

If Necco closes down, Bob will mourn the loss more than he did with his grandma

Is there anything sadder than a rotund single man scarfing down a bag of Valentine candy hearts he bought for himself?

 

[Gordon Cole]

Is there anything sadder than a rotund single man scarfing down a bag of Valentine candy hearts he bought for himself?

The poor family members who have to deal with him day in and day out?

One of my favorite things about Bob --

Ok, that phrasing doesn't really work.

One of the most intriguing things about Bob is that he can spew vile garbage 25 hours a day; insult, dismiss, or otherwise condemn to doom half the country; clearly believes his weaving of withering putdowns should earn him a place at the Algonquin Round Table ... and yet he is soooooo sensitive to the mildest of rebukes. IT'S BLOCKSVILLE, FRIENDO.

Bob's the definition of a guy who can dish it, yet is wholly incapable of taking it. Him being a critic is really just icing on the irony cake.

 

[Done]

@neural has provided a replacement OP for this thread.

Many thanks to dear leader for going above and beyond and adding my post in as the actual OP. And once again, I'd like to give thanks to @TheImportantFart, @Sexy Times Hitler, and @Jaimas for their valuable contributions to the creation of this new OP, If anyone needs to have any info added to it, let me know via PMs, just try to have as good documentation as you can.

Now the next mission is to thoroughly update Bob's Lolcow Wiki page, that one will obviously have more of a "Just the facts, Ma'am" vibe to it, but I have faith in Bob's re.tardation being funny on its own with no added humor on our parts. I will make a post here when it's done.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Is it fair to say that other than MCU movies and the Sam Rami SpiderMan movies, Bob despises a majority of superhero movies?

 

[Absolutego]

Is it fair to say that other than MCU movies and the Sam Rami SpiderMan movies, Bob despises a majority of superhero movies?

Depends, are we talking genuine opinion or the hot takes he puts out on twitter to posture for his audience?

This is the man who 100% flipped his opinion from loving to HATING the Dark Knight once it started getting mainstream acclaim. Most of his critical opinions are determined by who he thinks likes a given franchise. Going by how pathetically easy Bob is to pander to, shown by his love of the Marvel movies, I'd wager that most of the non-DC superhero movies he claims to hate (mostly the X-Men and assorted films) he enjoys well enough. He just seethes that dudebros like these movies as well.

The fact that his reviews for Deadpool and Logan essentially stopped talking about the movie to instead bitch at its perceived audience and what they'll do now that they've been enabled by the film is further evidence that he's really just mad he shares interests with the outgroup.

 

[Spellskite]

The diabetes is almost rivaled by how funny it is that now factories shutting down bothers him and he's not ranting about how it's proof that they are Obsolete and will be replaced by Superior 21st century candy.

He was also bothered by Toys R'Us closing down, too. He only cares about places closing when they mean something to him, and gives no fucks for all the other "obsoletes." He'll happily gloat about people from Dumbfuckistan losing their jobs, but the moment its something tied to him or his childhood, oh man, what a shame that these things are going under.

 

[Gordon Cole]

He was also bothered by Toys R'Us closing down, too. He only cares about places closing when they mean something to him, and gives no fucks for all the other "obsoletes." He'll happily gloat about people from Dumbfuckistan losing their jobs, but the moment its something tied to him or his childhood, oh man, what a shame that these things are going under.

Now he's blaming Bain Capital and corporatism for TRU going bankrupt. I guess corporate overreach is another thing that's okay when he says so.

 

[Done]

Now he's blaming Bain Capital and corporatism for TRU going bankrupt. I guess corporate overreach is another thing that's okay when he says so.

In other words, REEEEE it's all because of ROMNEYYYYYY!!!!!!!1!!!!!!

 

[Secret Asshole]

Good night, do we have a thread for SNL? That was some high level autism right there.

Didn't they use to have comedy writers?

The joke should be that Nickleback is pure garbage and that her last words are too horrific for her kids to hear.

"Wow, your mother's last words were awesome"

Doesn't make a funny fucking sketch. Especially if you're doing fucking Nickleback.

I saw a cringy ad for season 2 of Jessica Jones today that reminded me of Bob and the kind of stuff he goes nuts for. Excuse me if I get the quote from it wrong. It doesn't resemble the character from the comics at all even nowadays.

"When I was little, I was told I was 'pretty good for a girl' but now I see a sisterhood of empowered women who won't settle for just 'pretty good'"

Spoiler

Her firm actually paid for that award in that scene, she didn't actually earn it, so the line is somewhat ironic.

In other words, REEEEE it's all because of ROMNEYYYYYY!!!!!!!1!!!!!!

It actually is because the private equity firms leveraged a massive ton of debt onto Toys'R'Us and killed the company. Bain Capital has done this over and over, as have a vast majority of private equity firms. They're basically vampires who pay off CEOs and shareholders, drain a company dry and then move on. It just happens to be that Toys'R'Us is a very public example of that practice. There was a good article saying that the toy market is actually healthy and that this was the primary reason for the bankruptcy. If you read about what they did, they bought the company, shuffled huge amounts of debt on it, forced it to pay that debt with huge amounts of interest until it finally died.

Of course, this doesn't negate the fact that Bob is a hypocritical fat fuck who will praise corporations when they step over their bounds in a way he likes.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Depends, are we talking genuine opinion or the hot takes he puts out on twitter to posture for his audience?

This is the man who 100% flipped his opinion from loving to HATING the Dark Knight once it started getting mainstream acclaim. Most of his critical opinions are determined by who he thinks likes a given franchise. Going by how pathetically easy Bob is to pander to, shown by his love of the Marvel movies, I'd wager that most of the non-DC superhero movies he claims to hate (mostly the X-Men and assorted films) he enjoys well enough. He just seethes that dudebros like these movies as well.

The fact that his reviews for Deadpool and Logan essentially stopped talking about the movie to instead bitch at its perceived audience and what they'll do now that they've been enabled by the film is further evidence that he's really just mad he shares interests with the outgroup.

I feel like he gives tepid praises to the non-MCU Marvel films like Deadpool and Logan and also bashing DC Movies, though he did praised Watchmen back in 2009.

 

[BR55]

One of my favorite things about Bob --

Ok, that phrasing doesn't really work.

One of the most intriguing things about Bob is that he can spew vile garbage 25 hours a day; insult, dismiss, or otherwise condemn to doom half the country; clearly believes his weaving of withering putdowns should earn him a place at the Algonquin Round Table ... and yet he is soooooo sensitive to the mildest of rebukes. IT'S BLOCKSVILLE, FRIENDO.

This isn't a conversation sport!

Depends, are we talking genuine opinion or the hot takes he puts out on twitter to posture for his audience?

This is the man who 100% flipped his opinion from loving to HATING the Dark Knight once it started getting mainstream acclaim. Most of his critical opinions are determined by who he thinks likes a given franchise. Going by how pathetically easy Bob is to pander to, shown by his love of the Marvel movies, I'd wager that most of the non-DC superhero movies he claims to hate (mostly the X-Men and assorted films) he enjoys well enough. He just seethes that dudebros like these movies as well.

The fact that his reviews for Deadpool and Logan essentially stopped talking about the movie to instead bitch at its perceived audience and what they'll do now that they've been enabled by the film is further evidence that he's really just mad he shares interests with the outgroup.

His whole "Dudebros watch non MCU movies" is so confusing to me. Like does Bob really think "Dudebros" don't watch MCU films? Here's a fact for you. The MCU is not "nerdy" in the slightest. The MCU is mainstream to the extreme.
Everyone watches Marvel movies. Just for an example. I live in an Inferior Small Town in Obsolete Wisconsin. And ever time a Marvel film is released our theater is packed.
I don't know. Trying to understand Bob's "Thought Process" is a zero sum game.

 

[Absolutego]

I feel like he gives tepid praises to the non-MCU Marvel films like Deadpool and Logan and also bashing DC Movies, though he did praised Watchmen back in 2009.

Yeah and I'm saying the tepid praises are a front because he resents liking something people he hates might like. It's not about the quality of the movie, Bob just doesn't want to be associated with those people, so he pretends to hate it.

His whole "Dudebros watch non MCU movies" is so confusing to me. Like does Bob really think "Dudebros" don't watch MCU films? Here's a fact for you. The MCU is not "nerdy" in the slightest. The MCU is mainstream to the extreme.
Everyone watches Marvel movies. Just for an example. I live in an Inferior Small Town in Obsolete Wisconsin. And ever time a Marvel film is released our theater is packed.
I don't know. Trying to understand Bob's "Thought Process" is a zero sum game.

It's not that dudebros don't also watch MCU movies, but that the X-men movies are made for "dudebros". Brian Singer was one of the directors during the early-2000's superhero movie boom who was absolutely adamant that literal comic-to-screen costume translations would look like garbage, which is why the X-men all wander around in motorcycling leathers in the first couple movies (and now seem to run around in paintball armor, I guess?). That pissed off turbonerds like Bob (especially when the first movie made a joke about spandex) and he has hated the X-men movies ever since, barring the one time Matthew Vaughan came along and injected some color into First Class.

 

[Lensherr]

It's not that dudebros don't also watch MCU movies, but that the X-men movies are made for "dudebros". Brian Singer was one of the directors during the early-2000's superhero movie boom who was absolutely adamant that literal comic-to-screen costume translations would look like garbage, which is why the X-men all wander around in motorcycling leathers in the first couple movies (and now seem to run around in paintball armor, I guess?). That pissed off turbonerds like Bob (especially when the first movie made a joke about spandex) and he has hated the X-men movies ever since, barring the one time Matthew Vaughan came along and injected some color into First Class.

I especially find his hate-boner for the X-Men films ironic because Bryan Singer is gay and he inserted a lot of allegories for LGBT struggles for equality into those movies. Not very dudebro if you ask me.

Someone earlier in this thread wrote a really good post about the evolution of the western genre from telling feel-good, rousing stories about good vs. evil to more somber, morally grey tales, and it reminds me of the superhero genre in the sense of films like Deadpool and Logan finding success and challenging the hegemony of the MCU style of superhero movie-making. If Bob were alive in the 60s, he'd probably be complaining about Spaghetti Westerns like Sergio Leone's films being too dude-broish (or whatever term filled the same purpose at the time).

 

[Godzilla@1989]

I especially find his hate-boner for the X-Men films ironic because Bryan Singer is gay and he inserted a lot of allegories for LGBT struggles for equality into those movies. Not very dudebro if you ask me.

Someone earlier in this thread wrote a really good post about the evolution of the western genre from telling feel-good, rousing stories about good vs. evil to more somber, morally grey tales, and it reminds me of the superhero genre in the sense of films like Deadpool and Logan finding success and challenging the hegemony of the MCU style of superhero movie-making. If Bob were alive in the 60s, he'd probably be complaining about Spaghetti Westerns like Sergio Leone's films being too dude-broish (or whatever term filled the same purpose at the time).

That was and still is a clever idea for Singer to put the LGBT allegories in the movies.

All the “dudebros”, as well as Bob, will like something else once the MCU is irrelevant. I feel like Bob will bash the MCU once it becomes irrelevant.

 

[Gordon Cole]

If Bob were alive in the 60s, he'd probably be complaining about Spaghetti Westerns like Sergio Leone's films being too dude-broish (or whatever term filled the same purpose at the time).

Can anyone else imagine 60s Bob bitching his way though the New Hollywood years? I can picture him shitting on Bonnie & Clyde a la the recent Spider-Man movies well after his readers are sick of it.

Oh wait.

 

[Mola Ram]

Can anyone else imagine 60s Bob bitching his way though the New Hollywood years?

Oh wait.

I'm not sure the analogy holds up.

"Crowther died of heart failure on March 7, 1981 in Mount Kisco, New York..."

That part sounds right.

"He was survived by his wife Florence; a sister, Nancy Crowther Kappes; three sons, F. Bosley, John, and Jefferson; and four grandchildren."

Never mind.