Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Mola Ram]

They all look like the type of people, who when you have them over for dinner, start eating the table centerpiece if the food isn't brought out fast enough.

They look like the sort of people who routinely cut farts foul enough to make wallpaper blister and peel.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

The thing that gets me about this picture is the fact that someone took it in the first place. In the Chipmans’ world, this is an elegant tablescape that MUST be documented and shared on the internet. To the rest of us, it’s an example of a situation where you end up at the table of hygiene-deficient hoarders and pull out the “I’m on a doctor-ordered fast, sorry I can’t eat anything from your kitchen, ever” line on your hosts. I wouldn’t even eat from that package of croutons, which I’m sure has had many grubby Chipman paws thrust inside.

 

[Marissa Moira]

They look like the sort of people who routinely cut farts foul enough to make wallpaper blister and peel.

Nah if that was the case you would see the stains on their fold out chairs.

 

[Literary Hitler]

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I don't know which is more egregious - the unironed tablecloth; the plastic tabs holding it in place; the clutter of stuff shoved into every nook an cranny;the compete lack of a cruet for the condiments , or the fold-out chairs.Who wants to bet the table is plastic too?Also, that carpet is in dire need of laundry.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I don't know which is more egregious - the unironed tablecloth; the plastic tabs holding it in place; the clutter of stuff shoved into every nook an cranny;the compete lack of a cruet for the condiments , or the fold-out chairs.Who wants to bet the table is plastic too?Also, that carpet is in dire need of laundry.

The placement of the napkins and cutlery suggests these people have never eaten anywhere more sophisticated than Chili’s. And even there, I’m pretty sure they don’t put the napkins and forks to the right of the plates.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Hamilton filmed on stage, brought to you by none other than Disney.
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Why couldn't covid-19 kill us all?

Everytime I hear about the musical Hamilton, I keep thinking about this scene:

The only difference between the smug fucks in the audience and Bob is that they look well-dressed, rich and accomplished. Bob would like nothing more than to be among their ranks, but there's no way they're letting a sunken-cheeked homunculus in an unironic Mario blazer into their hi-class Manhattan cocktail parties. Bob had better stick to his own kind, watching MCU bread and circus movies in a cloud of cheeto-farts on a carpeted floor that hasn't been vacuumed since the Bush Administration.

 

[Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake]

I don't know which is more egregious - the unironed tablecloth; the plastic tabs holding it in place; the clutter of stuff shoved into every nook an cranny;the compete lack of a cruet for the condiments , or the fold-out chairs.Who wants to bet the table is plastic too?Also, that carpet is in dire need of laundry.

I'm torn between thr basket of Gaudy, paste plastic eggs, the plasitc "Happy Easter" Sign what looks like it belongs in a used car dealership, the mismatched, poorly set cutlery and the idea that even if they properly place a bottle of red wine and basket of bread, it would likely be Boxed red wine and pillsbury dinner rolls.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

The only difference between the smug fucks in the audience and Bob is that they look well-dressed, rich and accomplished. Bob would like nothing more than to be among their ranks, but there's no way they're letting a sunken-cheeked homunculus in an unironic Mario blazer into their hi-class Manhattan cocktail parties. Bob had better stick to his own kind, watching MCU bread and circus movies in a cloud of cheeto-farts on a carpeted floor that hasn't been vacuumed since the Bush Administration.

Is the Mexican resort he went to for his sister’s wedding the fanciest place Bob has ever been? He sticks out like a turd in a punch bowl in every setting that’s not a basement. I’d pay good money to see him set foot in Hôtel Costes in Paris or Claridge’s in London.

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

JFC, Bob really is the Ignatius Reilly of [the current year.] A a fat, fatuous cretin living off the charity of his relatives, entombed in an environment so enclosed he huffs his own farts literally as well as figuratively. All the while imagining that he'd better than the plebians who make up the toiling masses.

OK, I realize this comparison is unfair to Ignatius. Compared to Bob, he had a high level of academic achievement and a mindset independent enough to go against prevailing trends to the point where he was an outright Medievalist. He also put more effort into "Diary of a Working Boy" than Bob has ever put into anything.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

Everytime I hear about the musical Hamilton, I keep thinking about this scene:

Every time somebody brings up Hamilton, I remember the fact that in 2016, Hillary Clinton saw Hamilton in theater three times and campaigned in Michigan zero times.
It's such a succinct comment about how she ignored the working class because she was just too busy consooming.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I’ll say something nice: Chris’s kids are very cute despite having Chipman DNA. Ditto Bob and Chris’s sister Catie, who has a Marisa Tomei thing going on. I have a little crush on her.

Now back to our regularly scheduled horror. In every single public photo of the Chipman kitchen, it is beyond filthy. The floor makes me want to puke. The counters are not much cleaner. The cabinets haven’t had so much as a quick wipe-down in literally years. There is barely room to prep food because every surface is covered in old mail, newspapers, pet food, medicines, and empties. They’re even hoarding their children’s empty juice containers. This is mental illness.

 

[Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake]

I’ll say something nice: Chris’s kids are very cute despite having Chipman DNA. Ditto Bob and Chris’s sister Catie, who has a Marisa Tomei thing going on. I have a little crush on her.

Now back to our regularly scheduled horror. In every single public photo of the Chipman kitchen, it is beyond filthy. The floor makes me want to puke. The counters are not much cleaner. The cabinets haven’t had so much as a quick wipe-down in literally years. There is barely room to prep food because every surface is covered in old mail, newspapers, pet food, medicines, and empties. They’re even hoarding their children’s empty juice containers. This is mental illness.

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That's the most 70's interior characteristic to Industrial Massachussetts that I have ever seen. That fucking vinyl floor has probably been in at least every 50+ year old house in MA. What you are seeing is literal hogs living in an "updated" tenement from the 1800's. They prolly haven't renovated it because if a building inspector saw what was unter those vinyl/plastic/tiled surfaces his only remark would be "Sure I can fix it, got a match?" Those poor kids are probably already doomed to mestohelioma from all the black mold and asbestos in that junk heap.

It's disturbing to be acutely aware that Blobbo lives in the BASEMENT of this shitpile. Even worse when you realize that he 100% DESERVES to be in this situation.

EDIT: i was wrong about him living there

 

[John Andrews Stan]

If you’re squeamish, you might want to look away now. The Chipmans hang their towels right next to the toilet, so they can get the maximum poop spray on everything, and store shit on top of it to boot. The base of the toilet itself looks like it’s never been cleaned, so I can only imagine what the inside looks like. How these bacteria hoarders haven’t gotten COVID-19 yet is anyone’s guess.

 

[Mola Ram]

If you’re squeamish, you might want to look away now. The Chipmans hang their towels right next to the toilet, so they can get the maximum poop spray on everything, and store shit on top of it to boot. The base of the toilet itself looks like it’s never been cleaned, so I can only imagine what the inside looks like. How these bacteria hoarders haven’t gotten COVID-19 yet is anyone’s guess.

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That wallpaper above the tile is in great shape, too.

 

[Johan Schmidt]

Hamilton actually has some decent song if you ignore the negro jungle music sections of it.

 

[Koby_Fish]

That's the most 70's interior characteristic to Industrial Massachussetts that I have ever seen. That fucking vinyl floor has probably been in at least every 50+ year old house in MA. What you are seeing is literal hogs living in an "updated" tenement from the 1800's. They prolly haven't renovated it because if a building inspector saw what was unter those vinyl/plastic/tiled surfaces his only remark would be "Sure I can fix it, got a match?" Those poor kids are probably already doomed to mestohelioma from all the black mold and asbestos in that junk heap.

It's disturbing to be acutely aware that Blobbo lives in the BASEMENT of this shitpile. Even worse when you realize that he 100% DESERVES to be in this situation.

He actually doesn't. Chris lives in Lynn. Bob lives in Revere. Blob rents the basement of a completely different garbage house with renters upstairs that didn't know him from Adam when he moved in. It's not clear whether his Aunt owns the house he lives in, though his Aunt most certainly does not live there also.

If Bob ever did at least couch surf at Casa de Chippa at any time, it was an extremely long time ago.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

If you’re squeamish, you might want to look away now. The Chipmans hang their towels right next to the toilet, so they can get the maximum poop spray on everything, and store shit on top of it to boot. The base of the toilet itself looks like it’s never been cleaned, so I can only imagine what the inside looks like. How these bacteria hoarders haven’t gotten COVID-19 yet is anyone’s guess.

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Probably because their living conditions are so disgusting their immune systems are able to fight it off.

 

[iRON-mAn]

Tbh, I don't actually care about the kids or the state of a house Bob doesn't even live in. They're not the ones railing at Republicans for depriving them of a Scooty-Puff Jr on twitter 24/7. Say what you like about about them, but at least they have some semblance of a life lived and happiness off the internet.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Tbh, I don't actually care about the kids or the state of a house Bob doesn't even live in. They're not the ones railing at Republicans for depriving them of a Scooty-Puff Jr on twitter 24/7. Say what you like about about them, but at least they have some semblance of a life lived and happiness off the internet.

The point is that while Bob rails against mayonnaise ghouls and the need for the non-elite to be exterminated, these are his people. It seems pretty obvious that Bob’s disgust for his own kind is underlying all of his Twitter sperging. As expressions of self-loathing go, the transparency is remarkable. Yet Bob is so lacking in self-awareness that he can’t see how much he reveals with these condemnations.

 

[iRON-mAn]

The point is that while Bob rails against mayonnaise ghouls and the need for the non-elite to be exterminated, these are his people. It seems pretty obvious that Bob’s disgust for his own kind is underlying all of his Twitter sperging. As expressions of self-loathing go, the transparency is remarkable. Yet Bob is so lacking in self-awareness that he can’t see how much he reveals with these condemnations.

Yeah Bob is a hypocrite. That's not a massive revelation after 2668 pages. I just think there are better examples of it than a happy looking kid and a dirty house.