Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[ravensboy]

It's not even the first time he's talked about this "gamers getting mad over Animal Crossing" fantasy of his:
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Saying it "would be the closest thing we got to a blockbuster this year in terms of entertainment" is basically an admission that Bob would get more entertainment from seeing people mad about video games than from actually playing a video game himself. I'd really like to see what the last video game he actually played was. Last I can think of was Super Mario Odyssey from 2017, and even then it sounded like he was throwing up excuses for barely playing any of it because he was "just too busy" (but apparently not busy enough to stop incessantly tweeting all day).

Only bob could find time to tweet instead of playing video games (which he says he loves)

I am of the mind that anyone reviews or streams games secretly hates them.

 

[The tired cat]

It's not even the first time he's talked about this "gamers getting mad over Animal Crossing" fantasy of his:
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Saying it "would be the closest thing we got to a blockbuster this year in terms of entertainment" is basically an admission that Bob would get more entertainment from seeing people mad about video games than from actually playing a video game himself. I'd really like to see what the last video game he actually played was. Last I can think of was Super Mario Odyssey from 2017, and even then it sounded like he was throwing up excuses for barely playing any of it because he was "just too busy" (but apparently not busy enough to stop incessantly tweeting all day).

Didnt Bobo blow like 60$ on that Mario 3D re-release which just had some crappy ports?

 

[jspit2.0]

Re: Bobby's latest vagueposting for attention and pity. Someone joins the Bob-sized dot with the Lindsay-sized dot, and his deduction "is not appreciated".
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While real-talks are of course even less appreciated:
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Re: student debt forgiveness. Fairness has no place in Bobby's Superior Future; all he cares are niggers and trannies get fat under the system.
And don't you know paying other's debts costs you no "real money"?
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If you give people free money they will CONSOOM using the free money and hence boost the economy. How come no one voted Bobby as Sec of the Treasury?
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For my money I'd rather have low tax so I can keep more of my money to CONSOOM my favorite things, instead of the government diverting my money to millennial and Gen-Zs so they can CONSOOM their favorite things. I'm not paid to not understand Bobby's wisdom; I guess I'm just not properly evolved.

Anime Avatar gives the straight dope of the situation, which is of course not appreciated -- excuse me, not even understood.
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Ayn Rand and Synder, no idea:
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Bobby makes a joke I suppose?
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The worst thing is, there are actual good arguments for student debt relief. The current system is deeply broken in the US and badly in need of consumer protections....

...and Bob just managed to somehow make common sense sound like Mein Kampf.

This is literally just random words with only the most vague suggestion of order. I'm entirely worse off from reading this.

That's because you read it wrong you fool! You have to Galaxy Brain it. Take it upside down and from a mirror to avoid Bob's aura.

 

[ravensboy]

The worst thing is, there are actual good arguments for student debt relief. The current system is deeply broken in the US and badly in need of consumer protections....

...and Bob just managed to somehow make common sense sound like Mein Kampf.


That's because you read it wrong you fool! You have to Galaxy Brain it. Take it upside down and from a mirror to avoid Bob's aura.

The problem originated from government taking control of student debt. That's why college is expensive, because loans can be backed to an infinite amount now with fiat currency.

 

[Fictional Character]

In principle, yes, but even the lowest of the lowly Italian fascist scum still had more class and style than the Blob could ever muster.
Speaking of Gabriele D'Annunzio, if he ever had to have the displeasure to meet Bob, he'd be even more displeased than he was with meeting Mussolini, and would have made a whole wing in the Vittoriale all about shitting on Bob.
If anyone's ever in the area of Lago di Garda, I do recommend doing the tour through the Vittoriale. Very interesting.

D'Annunzio is one of the people who are Bob's polar opposite in every single way.

D'Annunzio had an affair with the most beautiful woman in Europe and wrote a book bragging about it. Bob has never touched a woman and wrote a book about Console Wars being his Vietnam.

D'Annunzio was a war hero. Bob's only military experience is from the trenches of Console Wars and Gamergate.

D'Annunzio was renowned throughout the world for his keen sense of aesthetics. Bob is the bottom of the bottom tier of internet critics.

When D'Annunzio got too good at his job, Mussolini gave him unlimited budget to build a perfect monument to fascism because he needed D'Annunzio out of the way, but D'Annunzio was too popular to kill. When Bob got fired from his job, the few people more pathetic than him gave him enough Patreon money to continue living in a basement.

D'Annunzio thought the act of consuming food was far too trivial and the main pleasure he derived from meals was from impeccable presentation. Bob: View attachment 598938

 

[jspit2.0]

The problem originated from government taking control of student debt. That's why college is expensive, because loans can be backed to an infinite amount now with fiat currency.

Maybe? The consumer issue, is that student loans can't go into bankruptcy. Discharging them requires obscene, exaggerated circumstances. Pretty much death. Much of the millennial generation went to college before or during the Great Recession. As you know, that resulted in wholesale changes to dozens of industries, reducing entry level jobs and depressing wages in certain fields. Your also correct. Universities, rather than adjust, actually managed to get more expensive. It's why free college is such a terrible idea, at least as proposed...

This is bad because empirically it leads them to put off major life decisions. Marriage, children, buying a house. Forget the economy. Twenty somethings might be less crazy if they actually had kids and shit to think about...

 

[Meriasek]

D'Annunzio is one of the people who are Bob's polar opposite in every single way.

D'Annunzio had an affair with the most beautiful woman in Europe and wrote a book bragging about it. Bob has never touched a woman and wrote a book about Console Wars being his Vietnam.

D'Annunzio was a war hero. Bob's only military experience is from the trenches of Console Wars and Gamergate.

D'Annunzio was renowned throughout the world for his keen sense of aesthetics. Bob is the bottom of the bottom tier of internet critics.

When D'Annunzio got too good at his job, Mussolini gave him unlimited budget to build a perfect monument to fascism because he needed D'Annunzio out of the way, but D'Annunzio was too popular to kill. When Bob got fired from his job, the few people more pathetic than him gave him enough Patreon money to continue living in a basement.

D'Annunzio thought the act of consuming food was far too trivial and the main pleasure he derived from meals was from impeccable presentation. Bob: View attachment 598938

Indeed. Given Bob's girth he'd do well to also place a massive turtle on his table to remind himself to not eat too much.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

So Bobs superior future is all the people in small towns, the majority of which are white. Be rounded up and brainwashed or killed and forced to live in mega cities. With the government issued robots taking care of everything from food production to ass wiping. Freeing up everyone to produce "art" and "science" and explore space in immortal robot bodies. Meanwhile "refugees" and undocumented migrants roam the vast wilderness between them? And he thinks all of this would have been accomplished by now if those damn mayo ghouls would have just stopped caring about feeding their families and living their lives as they saw fit. I know its pointless to try and parse out Bobs logic but damn its fun.

Bob's dreams of a superior future make absolutely no logical sense, because Bob isn't smart enough to think logically about what steps would be required to reach his end goal, and because Bob thinks that all problems can be solved by the use of force like it's a magic wand he can wave and everyone will fall into line and never resist. Bob's one of the clearest examples of "magical thinking" that we have here on the farms.

A lot of this is because Bob is both incredibly ignorant and very very sheltered. He has no idea how other people actually live their lives and no idea of how other people with real jobs actually do those jobs. Farming? Bob seems to think that they can just program some robots to plant seeds and water occasionally and crops will magically sprout. Trades? Bob seems to think people that work with their hands just fuck around all day talking with their coworkers about how much they hate niggers and illegals stealing their jobs. Manufacturing? That's done by mayo ghouls and the sooner those jobs go away the better, because those people deserve to be punished. Oil and gas? Obsolete and killing the planet. Obviously wind farms and solar can replace all of these jobs with woke people. Again, these people deserve to lose their jobs. Transportation jobs? Bob knows less than nothing about transportation of food and other goods. But I'm sure all of those jobs can be filled by robot trucks and high-speed trains. Medicine? Medical treatment of any kind should be free, at least for illegals and deadbeats. Research? Lol, Bob thinks researchers just fuck around writing on a chalkboard and suddenly go "Eureka!" as the ideas just come to them. Who pays them? It just happens, apparently.

I could go on and on, but the conclusion is easy enough: Bob is both a simpleton and a child who has been atrociously coddled by his family for his entire life. He has a magical device in his hand which he could use to learn pretty much anything pretty much instantaneously, but he won't. Learning is both difficult and frustrating for Bob, so he refuses to try. It's much more comforting to wallow in fantasies where people you despise are punished, and to spend the vast majority of your waking life screaming invective at strangers on the internet to stoke your inner rage at a world which has comprehensively rejected you, personally, as defective and unwanted.

 

[blablabla]

bob is more like an ernst rohm: a fat faggot

​

 

[Bolo]

Last I can think of was Super Mario Odyssey from 2017, and even then it sounded like he was throwing up excuses for barely playing any of it because he was "just too busy" (but apparently not busy enough to stop incessantly tweeting all day).

Robert doesn't like to play videogames. And this has nothing to do with the whole "being a gamer" identity, or gamergate or anything of the sorts. On his book, he says that about when the N64 can rolling in, he lost interest and mostly kept to occasionally playing some games of his GBA. After that her never really came back.

What Robert likes about videogames is to pretend that this hobby is some sort of integral part of his "psychological make up", thus acting as if he has any authority in the subject.

And that is whatever, I'm not gonna call Robert a "fake gamer boy" or something like that, who gives a shit really. But this does make for a weird notion Robert has about videogames.

All the man knows about games now is the stuff he reads on polygon headlines and shit on twitter, and also seems to be frozen in time back in 2012, so he comes up with these bizarre scenarios where a bunch of dude-bros crying over their X-boxes because Animal Crossing won a award that is famous for being a joke.

And not just games, Robert loves to go around making up theories and praising movies that will make "the gater scum sooo mad", when this whole fad is dead and buried. This outrage againt "the woke" can only go so far, and it only gets some legs when it is a big IP, like Star Wars, and even Star Wars is burned out.

No one cares about anything any more. Wanna woke it up and put as many diversity and socially conscious characters and themes on you netflix series, fucking go for it. Wanna put a trans vikingn on your assassin viking game, I would be more surprised if they didn't.

Besides click baiters, no one care Robert, no one cares, welcome to 2020. But sure, indulge in your fantasies, it is better than to face the reality people don't like you for you, and not because of the pandemic.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Just a reminder that Bob has an intense hate boner for the Metroid Prime games because they were in first person.

Bob has an autistic worldview where people are completely one dimensional, and anyone that enjoys ripping up demons in Doom doesn't also enjoy farming/life simulator games.

Has Bob even ever played a Final Fantasy game anyways? Why does he hate those now?

Edit: Theory on that last question: Lingering tard rage over Square "abandoning" Nintendo by moving the series to PlayStation. Probably trigger intense personal 'Nam flashbacks.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

The only thing I can think of that would come close to what Bob's talking about would be the Waco siege and what the FBI did to the Branch Davidians. Even then, though, they relied on other government agencies to back them up.

The Branch Davidians were also part of those right wing mayonnaise ghouls who the feds always go easy on, according to Film Robert. They were multiracial, but they were devoutly religious, their leader was a white man with a country accent, and they argued for their right to bear arms and freedom of expression in the videos they made while they were being surrounded. Robert would've read about seventy odd kids getting burned alive and Tweet that it's a good start, because they would've all grown up to be evil Trumptards anyway.

Everything except Bob being competent and likable Enough to get himself some bullshit political appointment. Bob would just hang out at local bars talking a lot of shit and preaching about how great fascism is, but I doubt Eve fascists would invite Bob to the party.

Italian Fascists would treat Robert exactly like Breadtube has. With a mixture of discomfort and annoyance, occasionally chewing him out or mocking him for making them look bad.

"Bob you can't just expect the entire U.S. military to go to war against their fellow Americans like that."

"Oh THEY don't have to. There's a little thing you might not have heard of called "drones". If Biden ever needs to quell a mayo ghoul uprising all he'd need to do is make a phone call to Jeff Bezos. I'm sure Amazon already has a bunch of the drone infrastructure already in place. Just strap a couple of bombs to those puppies and we'll be good to go. The future of warfare is automated my friend, one where we won't see any causalities (none that will MATTER anyway ).

It's unnerving how on point this is. This isn't even an exaggeration of something Robert would Tweet and his mouth-breather Twitter white knights would defend.

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

Somehow I want to see a series of Bob throughout history, getting shit on by Italian Fascists, being a southerner complaining that slaves are needed to grow wheat on the moon, complaining that Robespierre's Terror didn't go far enough, how obsolete serfs are and should be complacent regarding their lords "who matter", all the way to proclaiming that Roman emperors are the way to a Superior Future.

 

[ConsoleWarVet]

Bob hopes Animal Crossing wins some year-end awards just to spite the dudebros.
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See again how readily Bobby folds when confronted by his wokers and betters.

Maybe I'm late, but how long as "meltdown" been exclusive to austistic screeching?

 

[Karl der Grosse]

It's no mystery why Bob has no idea what gamers are like. How often do you think Bob has ever been invited to play vidya with someone else? Probably about as many times as he's had dates. He gets all of his ideas about what gamers are like from hysterical wokies. It's yet another social occasion Bob has completely missed out on in real life. I think Bob's social life pretty much ended when Bob discovered video games. His autistic fixation on Mario, mario all the time and nothing else but Mario, would make him pretty unpopular with the gaming nerds pretty quickly. Especially as he got older and he was still stuck on Mario.

actual conversation snippet from Bob's teen years:

Bob to other dude in jr high:
"Want to play video games this weekend?"
"Sure Bob, watcha got? Want to play Call of Duty?"
"Um, let's play Super Mario Bros 3?"
"Nah, nigga that shit's for fags."

Bob, steaming about it for years, blaming the douchy jock-bros because no one wanted to obsessively play Mario with him. Most gamers moved on to coop games or MMORPG gaming, Bob's still stuck on fucking Mario. To this day, even though Bob doesn't actually play video games anymore, he's still fucking stuck on fucking Mario.

 

[Absolutego]

Somehow I want to see a series of Bob throughout history, getting shit on by Italian Fascists, being a southerner complaining that slaves are needed to grow wheat on the moon, complaining that Robespierre's Terror didn't go far enough, how obsolete serfs are and should be complacent regarding their lords "who matter", all the way to proclaiming that Roman emperors are the way to a Superior Future.

I really don't understand this "Bob would defend slavery" meme ITT. He's practically the definition of the provincial 19th century New England Republican, who would cheer on the destruction of Southern states, not because they gave much of a damn about the plight of slaves (and would enact local legislation keeping free blacks from living anywhere near them), but because they weren't hip to modern industry and were backwards mayonnaise ghoul baptists, probably Francophiles, whose agrarian "culture" justified their destruction as obstacles to progress.

He's a Northeastern stereotype that goes all the way back to colonial America, IMO.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Italian Fascists would treat Robert exactly like Breadtube has. With a mixture of discomfort and annoyance, occasionally chewing him out or mocking him for making them look bad.

If I worked for a totalitarian state, I’d want him around. Not where he can fuck things up. Just a low-level functionary. Someone you can give the boring jobs to. He won’t have the initiative or smarts to seek promotion, but he’ll talk a big game. Then, when the purge comes, you throw him under the bus.

 

[hairazor]

Has Bob even ever played a Final Fantasy game anyways? Why does he hate those now?

Probably because of XV's carwash scene.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

If I worked for a totalitarian state, I’d want him around. Not where he can fuck things up. Just a low-level functionary. Someone you can give the boring jobs to. He won’t have the initiative or smarts to seek promotion, but he’ll talk a big game. Then, when the purge comes, you throw him under the bus.

I agree with all of that except the part about him not seeking a promotion. His ego is too big and he lacks smarts too much not to try to ladder climb and give advice. That's when he'd get put in his place like Ellis did, except not as delicately. And his reaction would probably be the same. Whining, sulking, and licking his wounds, but ultimately complying.

 

[Druveer]

All I know is that he makes more money than a lot of people with “real jobs”. The Patreon alone is like 50,000$.

That's fine, I don't really care how much money he makes, it's the insistence of him and people like him that they are somehow the working class, at least when they aren't openly hating on the working class.

He used to be a Blockbuster counter monkey until he pissed off his conservative religious boss over Passion of the Christ and got terrified of his guns.

Wow Bob had an actual job that is pretty surprising, ruining his job because he can't control his mouth is less surprising.