Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

You're allowed zero wrong thoughts. The instant you divert from Bob Progress on any single thing you are forever a Not A Person like anyone else who chooses to be stupid and evil. (Does not apply to Disney executives.)

I rather be evil than be a complete loser like Bob.

 

[Positron]

Take your kids to church, unless you want them to turn into Moviebob.

MovieBob's parents did take him to church but he still turned into MovieBob.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

MovieBob's parents did take him to church but he still turned into MovieBob.

His Believer rants are fun because there's parts of his ideology that clearly stem from his poor learning of Catholic doctrine that he continues to hold to this day in ways that even the Catholic Church has long ago abandoned. Bob regularly expresses his fundamental belief that error has no rights.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

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I really want to see the science behind this analysis, because it sounds like massive cope for the infantilized / manchild look of so many male actors these days. Also, if the air is so clean, O Robert of the Hollowed Cheeks and Bulbous Pate, what's your excuse?

Bob forgets that teens and college-aged characters back in the 70s and 80s were often portrayed by people much older than them. I think the entire cast of Grease was over 30. Michael J. Fox was 25 when he played a high school aged kid in Back to the Future. This is just more evidence that Bob gets all of his information about the world from media. He sees old people playing teenagers and just assumes all real life teenagers looked old, then. I'm surprised he didn't expect to bump into fantasy worlds whenever he opened a wardrobe.

 

[JayHarrison]

For some reason Bobby is certain that the Rothschilds are just "regular-ass real rich people", whatever that means. He has been to MIT parties so you must trust him.
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There are only three circumstances under which I would ever believe Moviebob attended a party on MIT soil. The first is if his brother was an MIT student and was allowed to bring one friend along; the second is if he was mailed an invitation by mistake; the third is if he managed to finagle his way in after fart-bombing MIT's security staff.

---

Bobby is equally familiar with Russian economy.
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He's as accurate about Russian economics as he is about American economics--which is right around my own level of understanding about Antarctic economics.

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Regarding the United Caliphate, Bobby's mind is stuck in their inferior, colonial past.
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Bobby's Angels. Bobby thinks the British were greater than God.
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My "imaginary friend" has lots of ways to make Himself known, whether you believe in Him or not.

The only imaginary friend Moviebob has is his "brain".

---

Bobby's valiant combo-hit against Queen Terf Rowling has attracted Jake Alley.
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A man can never become a woman, nor can vice versa, and we've seen deluded people who do so have become miserable wrecks and incurable loons, hardly their "best possible selves".
The question whether humans were or weren't "meant" to have fire is simply nonsense, but now that we do have fire, we should caution ourselves not to play with fire.

And Moviebob's best possible self is no more evolved than a pile of whale manure.

---

Film students are ignorant about film history. That's how we get MovieBobs.
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Coincidentally, modern public school students who are incorrectly taught about U.S. history also become Moviebobs.

---

What 20 year olds in the 1980s looked older than Bob does now?

More pertinent question: What 1980s-era sixty-year-olds actually looked younger than Moviebob does at 40? (Don't cheat by answering Dick Clark, who just barely made reached the 60 plateau in November of '89.)

---

I rather be evil than be a complete loser like Bob.

Being a Moviebob is not a requirement for being evil. However, being evil is a requirement for being a Moviebob.

 

[Koby_Fish]

His Believer rants are fun because there's parts of his ideology that clearly stem from his poor learning of Catholic doctrine that he continues to hold to this day in ways that even the Catholic Church has long ago abandoned. Bob regularly expresses his fundamental belief that error has no rights.

That sounds about right. Too bad Bob focused on "Error Has No Rights", and NOT, "Fortunate Inconsistencies".

Bob forgets that teens and college-aged characters back in the 70s and 80s were often portrayed by people much older than them. I think the entire cast of Grease was over 30. Michael J. Fox was 25 when he played a high school aged kid in Back to the Future. This is just more evidence that Bob gets all of his information about the world from media. He sees old people playing teenagers and just assumes all real life teenagers looked old, then. I'm surprised he didn't expect to bump into fantasy worlds whenever he opened a wardrobe.

Good Lord, I bet Bob even forgot that this carried over into the 1990s. Gabrielle Carteris was fucking 29 years old when she started playing a high school student in Beverly Hills 90210, and Bob should fucking KNOW BETTER about ALL OF THIS.

There are only three circumstances under which I would ever believe Moviebob attended a party on MIT soil. The first is if his brother was an MIT student and was allowed to bring one friend along; the second is if he was mailed an invitation by mistake; the third is if he managed to finagle his way in after fart-bombing MIT's security staff.

---

He's as accurate about Russian economics as he is about American economics--which is right around my own level of understanding about Antarctic economics.

---

The only imaginary friend Moviebob has is his "brain".

---

And Moviebob's best possible self is no more evolved than a pile of whale manure.

---

Coincidentally, modern public school students who are incorrectly taught about U.S. history also become Moviebobs.

---

More pertinent question: What 1980s-era sixty-year-olds actually looked younger than Moviebob does at 40? (Don't cheat by answering Dick Clark, who just barely made reached the 60 plateau in November of '89.)

---

Being a Moviebob is not a requirement for being evil. However, being evil is a requirement for being a Moviebob.

I'd posit that if Moviebob isn't lying/completely talking out of his ass about MIT parties, he either crashed them on the regular and nobody noticed or cared, or his lesbun "girlfriend" who had him as a "beard" took him to those (do Stockbrokers even GO to MIT?!) or some other chick he was dating back then (LOL) was an MIT student/grad, or one of his relatives or "colleagues" somehow got him an invite.

I guess Bob's fedora-tipping here is an attempt to make the angel feel better because apparently disappointing Sky Daddy is even less serious a thing than getting annoyed over the sudden inflation via tax of fucking Earl Grey Hot, because "Sky Daddy" doesn't reals so it doesn't even matter. Man, to be a fly on the wall of Bob's Eternal Judgment sentencing...

Bob's insane insistence that Humans weren't meant to have fire (who does Bob think he is? Zeus who determined Humanity Should Not Have Fire, and gets annoyed at Prometheus for bringing it?) makes absolutely NO FUCKING SENSE. A better analogy (though not a good one, either) is the old standby "If God intended for Man to fly, we'd have wings". Fire is a natural process and a force of Nature, and can be started by lightning, or focusing the sun's rays (which absent any technological advancements, can be achieved with the right implements) on wood and dry grass. or using friction/making a spark to catch on dry grass. Humans are smrt enough to harness it (and it turns out humans NEED fire, or at least, need it until technology advances to the point where we can have something that functions like a fire does, such as a heating element on a stove, or baseboard heating, heat pump, lightbulbs, etc). But most importantly, NO "law of nature" is being broken by Humans having Fire. Bob's so thoroughly ignorant of Human history ABSOLUTELY FUCKING EVERYTHING, it's unreal.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

I'd posit that if Moviebob isn't lying/completely talking out of his ass about MIT parties, he either crashed them on the regular and nobody noticed or cared, or his lesbun "girlfriend" who had him as a "beard" took him to those (do Stockbrokers even GO to MIT?!) or some other chick he was dating back then (LOL) was an MIT student/grad, or one of his relatives or "colleagues" somehow got him an invite.

The only parties Bob ever went to as a young adult (or likely even as a teen) were either family affairs or when his slightly more socially functional brother let him tag along to something Chris was attending with his Blockbuster Video coworkers.

As a reminder, this is what Bob looked like as a late teen:

He looked like a younger, fatter Kengle, had at least four tits, dressed like a slob, and you can practically smell him through the screen. Bob likes to trot out these stories about the MIT/Harvard/Boston College parties that he was definitely attending on the regular every now and then. I recall that, during the Kavanaugh confirmation hearings when that one liar/loon showed up claiming that Kavanaugh was participating in gang rapes at parties, Bob was posting about how obviously true her story was, and he knew it because he went to lots of parties and saw things like that firsthand from his dreaded mortal enemies: the frat boys and college athletes.

He wasn't dating a lesbian stockbroker or crashing college parties or beating Harvard students at beer pong. I'd bet Bob was doing the same thing as a college student that he does now: spending the overwhelming majority of his time alone, in a dark room, staring at an electronic screen passively consooming mass media and way too many unhealthy foods/empty junk calories. The biggest differences are that he drinks a lot more now, and he can shit out his shallow thoughts on twitter. Twitter isn't real human interaction, of course, but it's the closest thing to it that Bob ever gets.

 

[TopTierHealer]

I'd posit that if Moviebob isn't lying/completely talking out of his ass about MIT parties, he either crashed them on the regular and nobody noticed or cared, or his lesbun "girlfriend" who had him as a "beard" took him to those (do Stockbrokers even GO to MIT?!) or some other chick he was dating back then (LOL) was an MIT student/grad, or one of his relatives or "colleagues" somehow got him an invite.

I think you answered the question yourself (or you were being sarcastic, I swear I'm getting more autistic by the day). When you put every little bit of Bob's life in written form you see how stupid and made up it is. Don't forget about his gun collection and 3000 calorie per day weight loss program.

And the stockbrocker/beard leasbian girlfriend.....yeah, I had one of those. She was a german exchange student I hooked up with when I was 13, and it was during the summer so you couldn't have known about her but she was totally like a clone of Claudia Schiffer.

He looked like a younger, fatter Kengle, had at least four tits, dressed like a slob, and you can practically smell him through the screen. Bob likes to trot out these stories about the MIT/Harvard/Boston College parties that he was definitely attending on the regular every now and then. I recall that, during the Kavanaugh confirmation hearings when that one liar/loon showed up claiming that Kavanaugh was participating in gang rapes at parties, Bob was posting about how obviously true her story was, and he knew it because he went to lots of parties and saw things like that firsthand from his dreaded mortal enemies: the frat boys and college athletes.

Ivy League is notoriously clique-y and Bob was going to a diploma mill for a media degree. Aside from being in the same state there's is a negative chance that Bob has any possibility of being in the same social circle as someone from an Ivy League, much less being invited to an MIT party.

I'll give my 3 theories, though:

1) His sister's fiancee, boyfriend could have pity on him or was nagged by sis to bring the retarded chipmans to an outing with people who went to MIT. Bob made up the story where he was invited to the future scientists, doctors and lawyers of this country.
2) He was invited to some college event where someone brought a family member that was in MIT and Bob inmediatelly believed he was in a mixer, ditched his friends and started hanging out with people he thought were cooler.
3) The was "dogfighted" or "dinner of idiots'ed"

The free space is, of course, that he makes shit up to not look like the basement dwelling neet that he is.

 

[The Fabian Strategy]

The only parties Bob ever went to as a young adult (or likely even as a teen) were either family affairs or when his slightly more socially functional brother let him tag along to something Chris was attending with his Blockbuster Video coworkers.

As a reminder, this is what Bob looked like as a late teen:
View attachment 3110411

He looked like a younger, fatter Kengle, had at least four tits, dressed like a slob, and you can practically smell him through the screen. Bob likes to trot out these stories about the MIT/Harvard/Boston College parties that he was definitely attending on the regular every now and then. I recall that, during the Kavanaugh confirmation hearings when that one liar/loon showed up claiming that Kavanaugh was participating in gang rapes at parties, Bob was posting about how obviously true her story was, and he knew it because he went to lots of parties and saw things like that firsthand from his dreaded mortal enemies: the frat boys and college athletes.

He wasn't dating a lesbian stockbroker or crashing college parties or beating Harvard students at beer pong. I'd bet Bob was doing the same thing as a college student that he does now: spending the overwhelming majority of his time alone, in a dark room, staring at an electronic screen passively consooming mass media and way too many unhealthy foods/empty junk calories. The biggest differences are that he drinks a lot more now, and he can shit out his shallow thoughts on twitter. Twitter isn't real human interaction, of course, but it's the closest thing to it that Bob ever gets.

Looking like that as a teen is life-destroying- he already looks like Chris-Chan in his 30s in many ways. It's so strange that Bob seems to need that vicarious living experience through Twitter even considering his total lack of charisma or aesthetic prowess- I was lonely for a lot of my life but it was all self-inflicted, and then I realized how much time I wasted alone. Won't ever happen to Blob since he's obsessed with seeming cool through "who he knows" and "what parties he crashed" and all that shit, so it's just pure comedy.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

“Yeah, I have been to MIT parties, know the rich, kinda worldly”. - An obese man who has never had sex.

 

[blablabla]

wasnt this idiot or dobson who thinks kfc buckets are acceptable party foods?

the MIT story is fake just like every instance of bob having a social life

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

After looking into age dyphoria following reading your post I came across something almost as retarded. Actual wankers are calling themselves autosexual. We now have a term that describes Bob perfectly.

Leave it to wankers to find a wanky term for their wanking.

Yup we have a new picture for "Amy Bollmer". He's so manly he can be John Goodman's body double.

The glasses. Always the glasses.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Robert decides to chime in on the latest JKR drama-
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Tweet | Archive

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Bob is just as stupid as fucking Putin when making the "JK Rowling is just like Putin" comparison.

JK Rowling is an author of children's books that posts some dumb shit online while Putin is a manlet dictator that is invading other countries. They are nothing alike, and I can't believe this has to be said to both a 40 year old virgin and an actual dictator.

There literally is no point in comparing them unless somehow JK Rowling was actually British Royalty that wants to conquer another country, but that is as real as Bob finding a loving wife.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Bob probably tagged along with Chip to a career fair or networking event for engineering students once, and he counts that as "MIT college parties."

 

[A Very Big Fish]

Moviebob's take on JK Rowling might be one of his most retarded yet, and I do not say that lightly.

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

LOL. Again, report him for what exactly?

no doubt his catch-all term for things that must be silenced: "tRaRgEtEtD hSaRaSuSmEnT"
seriously, your man abuses that term in a manner only matched by Reddit

 

[make_it_so]

wasnt this idiot or dobson who thinks kfc buckets are acceptable party foods?

I'm pretty sure it was Bob, and it was Chicken McNuggets not KFC.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Bob forgets that teens and college-aged characters back in the 70s and 80s were often portrayed by people much older than them. I think the entire cast of Grease was over 30. Michael J. Fox was 25 when he played a high school aged kid in Back to the Future. This is just more evidence that Bob gets all of his information about the world from media. He sees old people playing teenagers and just assumes all real life teenagers looked old, then. I'm surprised he didn't expect to bump into fantasy worlds whenever he opened a wardrobe.

People did look a lot "older" back in the day. Look back at yearbooks from the 50's and 60' you'll see what I mean. Even look at an actor like Peter O'Toole when he did the 1962 film Lawrence of Arabia. You would think looking at him he was in his 30's or 40's easily. He was still in 20's when he filmed that movie.

Obviously everyone has different theories as to why this has happened. Endocrine disruptors and declining testosterone rates are probably the most likely offender.

 

[Jaracainofthewind]

People did look a lot "older" back in the day. Look back at yearbooks from the 50's and 60' you'll see what I mean. Even look at an actor like Peter O'Toole when he did the 1962 film Lawrence of Arabia. You would think looking at him he was in his 30's or 40's easily. He was still in 20's when he filmed that movie.
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Obviously everyone has different theories as to why this has happened. Endocrine disruptors and declining testosterone rates are probably the most likely offender.

Like someone mentioned in the Wil thread. He's now slightly older than Patrick Stewart was when he started TNG. And I've been carrying suspicions about something too, since I've been teaching. Which, you can blame on bias. But there is that meme now of how women teachers keep getting hotter.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Bob is seething at JK Rowling because she’s everything he wishes he would be.

Rowling created a beloved franchise that in turn became a money maker for Warner Bros, has large amounts of money, can reproduce, and is married with kids, all doing so from the bottom up.

Bob, on the other hand, wrote a poorly written, incoherent book that’s widely ridiculed, got fired twice from the same gig, is barely living off of Pateron and mommy’s credit card, can’t reproduce semen, a sexless basement sweeper at 40, and spends all day sperging about Republicans on twitter while his mediocre YouTube channel is nearly dormant.