Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Mola Ram]

Me in a haze this morning: "These lolcows get all worked up hating dumb things more than normal people do."

Bob, hours later: "RAAAARGH MARIO RABBIDS RAPED MY DEAD GRAMMA"

I never get the dumb stuff I write vindicated like this, let me soak in it for a minute.

 

[A Random]

I just don't get why Bob loves Mario so much. Mario has done the same bullshit for so many years, it's just not fun anymore.

Sonic, to its credit, has tried to do some new things to its gameplay. It's all done very poorly, but at least it's different (and can be good for a laugh). But Mario is just dull and it continues to baffle me how high of a pedestal Bob has put it on.

Mario happens to be, in particular, the one fucking game series he was most proud of being popular at elementary school for, with his claims of knowing all the tricks, and having a fucking joygasm when he saw The Wizard at age... what, 7?

Also, he thinks they have an amazing bond because he was born a little after the first Mario game.

Dude's fucking nuts.

 

[breadandcircuses]

I want to see Bob speedrun SMB3 now.

In a stream.

Because I want to be there when he fails in real time.

 

[Absolutego]

Mario happens to be, in particular, the one fucking game series he was most proud of being popular at elementary school for, with his claims of knowing all the tricks, and having a fucking joygasm when he saw The Wizard at age... what, 7?

Also, he thinks they have an amazing bond because he was born a little after the first Mario game.

Dude's fucking nuts.

He also thinks Miyamoto came to him in a dream to tell him to save video games and that one day he could meet Mario if he was successful.

This is why he's so autistically obsessed with Mario being from Brooklyn.

Nuts is an understatement, Bob is basically a vidya scientologist.

 

[link1234]

This has been a bad E3 for Bob so far with a GooberGraper having his game featured and Rabbids vandalizing Mario. Maybe Bob will rethink his life or he will compare this week to some great tragedy.

 

[Positron]

"I'm an educated, sophisticated, liberal elite that knows better than subhuman and inferior 'Americans' and 'Patriots' that hold us back from evolution and technological progress"

"THIS IS NOT THE DIRECTION MARIO AND THE MARIO FRANCHISE SHOULD GO IN"

I hope people in the future who use archives and read about folks from this period in human history can appreciate what a cow this guy is

You'd have thought someone so bent on "globalism" would welcome cultural enrichment from lagomorph vandals.

When Bob was a kid, he'd hide in his parents' car and play Mario Brothers just so he wouldn't have to interact with them

He was already an adult, with a Blockbuster job, at that point.
That's beyond pathetic.

Page 51 of Brick by Brick:

..GBA (and soon enough a DS) was my constant companion, particularly useful for passing time sitting in the car after work, waiting for the rest of the house to go to sleep before heading home.
…I promise that last part isn’t actually as sad as it sounds."

 

[Kyria the Great]

Other than GooberGrape, I also know why Bob and company would hate The Last Night. The story puts globalism and post-nationalism in a bad light as it seems where in what is Bob's "Superior Futurah" mankind seem to be obsessed with what they consume rather than what they make

 

[Gordon Cole]

Other than GooberGrape, I also know why Bob and company would hate The Last Night. The story puts globalism and post-nationalism in a bad light as it seems where in what is Bob's "Superior Futurah" mankind seem to be obsessed with what they consume rather than what they make

He's still bitching about The Last Night because a graper is way more successful than him and his butt buddies having reservations about technology makes you a "mediocre shitbag" and equal to The Unabomber in his eyes:

 

[Kyria the Great]

Decided to make a Bob smiley because I think it's about time we had one. Here ya go:

View attachment 232786

was that supposed to be a Bob smiley? I thought that beetus got him so hard that he had to have his entire body amputated, going to eventually live out his trans-humanist dreams out

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

He's still bitching about The Last Night because a graper is way more successful than him and his butt buddies having reservations about technology makes you a "mediocre shitbag" and equal to The Unabomber in his eyes:
View attachment 232941

Poor critique by uncreative people. Your internet, circa forever.

 

[Mola Ram]

He's still bitching about The Last Night because a graper is way more successful than him and his butt buddies having reservations about technology makes you a "mediocre shitbag" and equal to The Unabomber in his eyes:
View attachment 232941

Because all great critics bash "weak storytelling" before playing so much as five seconds of a game.

 

[Kyria the Great]

He's still bitching about The Last Night because a graper is way more successful than him and his butt buddies having reservations about technology makes you a "mediocre shitbag" and equal to The Unabomber in his eyes:
View attachment 232941

Honestly a future where the sense of purpose in the world is melted away by mechanization sounds rather scary. Why does Bob hate the "common man" characters in movies, books, and television shows? It isn't like the story of the every man is inspiring and can get "mediocre" people to perform great things.

 

[A Random]

The common man gets pussy, has friends, and makes his family.

 

[RockVolnutt]

Honestly a future where the sense of purpose in the world is melted away by mechanization sounds rather scary. Why does Bob hate the "common man" characters in movies, books, and television shows? It isn't like the story of the every man is inspiring and can get "mediocre" people to perform great things.

It's equally confusing since he sees Mario as an everyman character. Same with capeshit being filled to the brim with everymen or people who had learn to be humble. Heck, his argument about "MUH REPRESENTATION IN THE MEDIA" in general would mean everymen being everywhere by default. I think I fell into a rabbit hole now.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Of course Bob would only be interested in a mediocre-looking 3D platformer starring animals.

If that's not bad enough, inexplicably, Bob and his troon ex-editor are quite possibly the only people looking forward to the new David Cage game:

His tastes may mostly be pedestrian as shit, but he can still throw me for a loop.

 

[Kyria the Great]

It's equally confusing since he sees Mario as an everyman character. Same with capeshit being filled to the brim with everymen or people who had learn to be humble. Heck, his argument about "MUH REPRESENTATION IN THE MEDIA" in general would mean everymen being everywhere by default. I think I fell into a rabbit hole now.

I guess he is the kind of person that felt it was wrong to have Elliot be the main protagonist in The Lego Movie about a literal "Mediocre" person managing to save the day and even humanize the villain of the story and felt it should have been Wildstyle who went and just used her skills to save the day

 

[KimCoppolaAficionado]

Honestly a future where the sense of purpose in the world is melted away by mechanization sounds rather scary. Why does Bob hate the "common man" characters in movies, books, and television shows? It isn't like the story of the every man is inspiring and can get "mediocre" people to perform great things.

Bob hates underdog stories. That's it, really. If you look at what his "ideal" re-writes for stories are, most of the time they turn an underdog story completely on its head. Just to grab the most obvious example: his Terminator re-write is about an unstoppable metal killing machine turning those DANG DIRTY POORS to pulp for not rolling over and accepting that they're outmoded untermensch. Bob hates everymen because, most of the time, everymen star in underdog stories, while Bob wants stories about The Elites crushing the Untermenchen under their heel. It's just another extension of his revenge fantasies against the jocks who bullied him in high school. Of course, there ARE exceptions, but they seem to mostly function as "the underdogs THIS TIME are members of the Glorious Progressive Future crushing the Animals of the Regressive Past" (like Wolfenstein).

 

[Bungleboy]

I can't wait for ze woman in Detroit to take ze shower

 

[Positron]

How pathetic you have to be to feel that "the common man" is pushing you down?

 

[Assorted Nuts]

How pathetic you have to be to feel that "the common man" is pushing you down?

This pathetic.