Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Kyria the Great]

:powerlevel:, but I actually had a bald, hard-ass gym teacher from Boston in middle school. The difference is that hewas skinny and exercised every day. Bob could learn something from him.

I just came back from seeing Homecoming. The TL;DR opinion is that it's the best Spider-Man movie since Spider-Man 2. I could think of one big gripe Bob could have with the movie:

Spoiler: Spider-Man Homecoming spoilers up yonder:

The bad guy is The Vulture, the head of a working class construction company who's screwed over by the government and uses leftover technology from the end of The Avengers to start robbing banks. At the climax of the movie, Vulture tries to find common ground with Peter by stating that they're both screwed over by the powers that be, and is actually treated sympathetically by the movie, being one of the few villains in a Marvel movie with a three-dimensional character and who lives at the end.

Again, consider that this is Bob "Gas the miners, Mario is finer" Chipman we're talking about, and you can sort of see where his real less-than-enthused reaction towards the movie stems from.

off topic but I really liked Spiderman Homecoming as well giving that Vulture was in it for the money and for his family and this time the hero actually does the heroic thing and saves a man's life that tried to take his. Then again, Bob can't sympathize with working class people all that well even though in the review he said that Keating's performance was one working class stiff performance he didn't hate. Then again, it is only due to Muh Powers rather than the reason for his villainy. Yeah the movie isn't as good as Guardians Vol 2 (which is a James Gunn movie) but at least it is something fun and new.

On topic someone should compare Spiderman Homecoming to Spiderman 2 on Bob's twitter just to really rattle his cage. Better yet, declare the Amazing Spiderman movies better than the Raimi movies just to watch him chimp out epically.

 

[RockVolnutt]

What would be the Chipman approved version of that? Peter beating the guy to death for being a poor white guy and then hassling Stark for more money with no sense of irony at all?

 

[Gordon Cole]

What would be the Chipman approved version of that? Peter beating the guy to death for being a poor white guy and then hassling Stark for more money with no sense of irony at all?

I see it as black female tranny Peter Parker beating Michael Keaton to death for nothing more than being a FUCKING WHITE MALE, then going to Avengers HQ to have a three-way between black muslim lesbian Tony Stark and Happy Hogan wearing a Mario costume, ending with a speech to the audiencea la On Deadly Ground about moon wheat and killing conservatives.

Now that would get a "FOAH STAH!" review from Bob.

 

[RockVolnutt]

I see it as black female tranny Peter Parker beating Michael Keaton to death for nothing more than being a FUCKING WHITE MALE, then going to Avengers HQ to have a three-way between black muslim lesbian Tony Stark and Happy Hogan wearing a Mario costume, ending with a speech to the audiencea la On Deadly Ground about moon wheat and killing conservatives.

Now that would get a "FOAH STAH!" review from Bob.

 

[Lensherr]

FTFY

Why are you helping the GOP?

Do I really have to put the symbol?
View attachment 245015

SMH, just, SMH:
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And insulting Christians some more. #KeepAmericaGreat:
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But what about all the other nations that are culturally conservative and have nonwhite majorities such as Japan and Saudi Arabia? Come to think of it, America is actually one of the least conservative nations compared to the rest of the world.

:powerlevel:, but I actually had a bald, hardass gym teacher from Boston in middle school. The difference is that hewas skinny and exercised every day. Bob could learn something from him.

I just came back from seeing Homecoming. The TL;DR opinion is that it's the best Spider-Man movie since Spider-Man 2. I could think of one big gripe Bob could have with the movie:

Spoiler: Spider-Man Homecoming spoilers up yonder:

The bad guy is The Vulture, the head of a working class construction company who's screwed over by the government and uses leftover technology from the end of The Avengers to start robbing banks. At the climax of the movie, Vulture tries to find common ground with Peter by stating that they're both screwed over by the powers that be, and is actually treated sympathetically by the movie, being one of the few villains in a Marvel movie with a three-dimensional character and who lives at the end.

Again, consider that this is Bob "Gas the miners, Mario is finer" Chipman we're talking about, and you can sort of see where his real less-than-enthused reaction towards the movie stems from.

Spoiler

When I first heard about the Vulture's backstory and motivations for the movie, I assumed Bob would be jacking himself off over that aspect considering it sounds similar to the villain in his proposed Terminator: Masturbatory Geopolitical Revenge Fantasy Edition. The difference is Bob's is just a one-dimensional strawman whereas Toomes felt like a real person.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

I see it as black female tranny Peter Parker beating Michael Keaton to death for nothing more than being a FUCKING WHITE MALE, then going to Avengers HQ to have a three-way between black muslim lesbian Tony Stark and Happy Hogan wearing a Mario costume, ending with a speech to the audiencea la On Deadly Ground about moon wheat and killing conservatives.

Now that would get a "FOAH STAH!" review from Bob.

But then Bob would find some way to nitpick it like "Why is Sider-Man a tranny?" or "Why can't Happy also be a lesbian?" and begin a pointless, thoughtless rant that'll only make him yellower and yellower.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Bob, the only impact you make is on the fucking toilet:

EDIT: This is the "shit" video he was talking about:

In case you needed another reason to not like Bob, he hates Videogamedunkey too, because he makes a cogent point, and games media dindu nuffin in his eyes.

Because how dare an actor develop and feel connected to his character, right?

And Bob made a guest appearance on some shithole podcast. Even in the photo he looks so out of fucking place it's insane. He weighs as much as the other two guys combined, and he's not even looking at Spider-Man.

 

[Kyria the Great]

Bob, the only impact you make is on the fucking toilet:
View attachment 245436

Because how dare an actor develop and feel connected to his character, right?
View attachment 245438

And Bob made a guest appearance on some shithole podcast. Even in the photo he looks so out of fucking place it's insane. He weighs as much as the other two guys combined, and he's not even looking at Spider-Man.
View attachment 245437
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I love how the other two guys looks like they are late 20s or early 30s guys that probably have a kid or two each and they seem happy in life, meanwhile Bob looks like the antagonist to some comedy where he is going to try and drive a nail between these two.

For this was it too hard for Bob to not wear that shitty sports jacket with the t-shirt because honestly it looks rather white-trash and if he is going for the movie usher look, he still fails at that.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

For this was it too hard for Bob to not wear that shitty sports jacket with the t-shirt because honestly it looks rather white-trash and if he is going for the movie usher look, he still fails at that.

Bob's sense of style is atrocious. I wonder if he's aware of it and intentionally looks like a dumbass as part of his on-screen persona. Or maybe he just actually thinks he looks good. He's probably wearing $30 tennis shoes with that get-up as well.

This dumbfuck trenchcoat/jacket with a cheap Target pop culture t-shirt ensemble reminds me of the kids I avoided in high school. No wonder he was "bullied".

 

[Kyria the Great]

Bob's sense of style is atrocious. I wonder if he's aware of it and intentionally looks like a dumbass as part of his on-screen persona. Or maybe he just actually thinks he looks good. He's probably wearing $30 tennis shoes with that get-up as well.

This dumbfuck trenchcoat/jacket with a cheap Target pop culture t-shirt ensemble reminds me of the kids I avoided in high school. No wonder he was "bullied".

Part of it looks like to ape The Nostalgia Critic's attire minus the tie and having the white shirt for the attire to make sense. I mean is is too hard to go the hipster route and wear a t-shirt with flannel? I mean at least it would match and make sense.

 

[Emperor Julian]

To be fair im unsure theirs a style that could work for him considering how weird he looks. I'd grow the hair longer and keep the beard to conceal the thumb head
I'd most likely back it up with plaid shirt or a hawain on sunny days. Finish it all off with jeans and good quality boots. With that might be passable.
But then again I'd also delete my Twitter and stop fantazing about killing the working class.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Bob has a new video:

Spoiler: And the comments are a sight to behold:

Part of it looks like to ape The Nostalgia Critic's attire minus the tie and having the white shirt for the attire to make sense. I mean is is too hard to go the hipster route and wear a t-shirt with flannel? I mean at least it would match and make sense.

Because Bob has :autism: and looks down on ChrisRayGun, he'll stick to his vidya shirts and sex offender suit jacket.

 

[Kyria the Great]

Bob has a new video:

Spoiler: And the comments are a sight to behold:

View attachment 245456 View attachment 245457 View attachment 245458

Because Bob has :autism: and looks down on ChrisRayGun, he'll stick to his vidya shirts and sex offender suit jacket.

Is the Spiderman movies Bob's Blarms? I mean seriously one can't be that slavishly devoted to one set of movies that they come across a blind and compromised in their reviews of them.

Also not to :powerlevel:, but I knew a special needs man that wore a suit jacket all the time and had the same build as Bob so I wonder is there a connection.

 

[The Nothingness]

So what's the deal with the tweet about Steppenwolf aside from Bob's hate boner for DC?

 

[Gordon Cole]

So what's the deal with the tweet about Steppenwolf aside from Bob's hate boner for DC?

I guess they're trying to go for a Jared Leto thing again with Steppenwolf, except I'm pretty sure Ciaran Hinds' approach isn't even 1/10th as obnoxious or exceptional as Leto's.

 

[Lensherr]

So what's the deal with the tweet about Steppenwolf aside from Bob's hate boner for DC?

The character is created using motion-capture technology and his scenes are apparently filmed separately from the rest of the cast.

 

[RockVolnutt]

So what's the deal with the tweet about Steppenwolf aside from Bob's hate boner for DC?

Bob once had a tweet that called him a "Nobody Cares villain". I get the feeling it's because Bob doesn't know who they are because they aren't the main villain in older adaptations of the comics.

 

[Assorted Nuts]

Bob once had a tweet that called him a "Nobody Cares villain". I get the feeling it's because Bob doesn't know who they are because they aren't the main villain in older adaptations of the comics.

Man, it would be super ironic if Bob was totally in love with a different movie that also used a bunch of obscure characters nobody cared about. Why, that would make him a hypocrite.

Spoiler: Totally Unrelated

 

[RockVolnutt]

Man, it would be super ironic if Bob was totally in love with a different movie that also used a bunch of obscure characters nobody cared about. Why, that would make him a hypocrite.

Spoiler: Totally Unrelated

View attachment 245543

Spoiler

The irony with both cases is Jack Kirby's Fourth World and Guardians of the Galaxy never were "nobody cares" characters. You haven't been around comic fans long if you didn't know of the cult following for the New Gods and pre-movie GotG. Keep in mind I said comic fans, not fans of things based on comics which they commonly get mixed in with.

 

[Absolutego]

Is the Spiderman movies Bob's Blarms? I mean seriously one can't be that slavishly devoted to one set of movies that they come across a blind and compromised in their reviews of them.

Also not to :powerlevel:, but I knew a special needs man that wore a suit jacket all the time and had the same build as Bob so I wonder is there a connection.

It's his version of blarms until Hollywood finally puts together a new Super Mario movie, which he will screech over for months on end.