Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Good lord the Chipman brothers did not age well.

Does Bob own anything clothing that isn't "80's geek culture" shit? Though even if he dressed nice he's still not getting pussy anyway.
No, I don't think he does. The man owns a shirt that literally says, "I'm actually in my thirties" that's in the font of the original TMNT cartoon title, which I think says it all.
 
Man, it's hard being the only person who liked The Last Jedi in this thread.

It's even harder when its only other proponent is a fat piece of shit with a sense of self-importance that rivals his stomach in terms of how inflated it is *sigh*

I also liked that film. But Yeah, I agree.
 
I guess none of the things in Blade Runner 2049 had him emotionally moved at all. Then again, this is a man who gives tepid praise to one of the best Sci-Fi movies of recent years to reverse and give praise to the moon about the fucking mess that was The Last Jedi. Not a fucking hack in the least.
Can't forget calling GOTG Vol. 2 one of the best sci-fi films of the century, again, over Blade Runner 2049.
Good lord the Chipman brothers did not age well.

Does Bob own anything clothing that isn't "80's geek culture" shit? Though even if he dressed nice he's still not getting pussy anyway.
He'll still criticize right-wingers for their fashion choices despite looking like an autistic Miami Vice villain in his videos.
 
No, I don't think he does. The man owns a shirt that literally says, "I'm actually in my thirties" that's in the font of the original TMNT cartoon title, which I think says it all.
More like his 50s at best if you factor in the fat.

I can't be the only one that thinks the only really terrible flaw of BvS is that the movie itself needed to be a rise-fall-rise trilogy and not a one singular movie.
The problem there is I don't think a rise-fall-rise trilogy would work in the context of establishing the DCEU like was the intent. tbh and I'm in no way defending the extremely terrible scripts or direction, I think a less talked about problem with the DCEU is people's preconceived visions of characters from pop culture. Looking at Man of Steel, you can tell the intent was to follow how Clark's Superman persona was more brash and reckless in his early adventures yet audiences complained about him not being "Superman" right from the start instead of how botched it was or the horrible Jesus allegories that miss the point of Clark Kent. Ironically, living up to this idealized image of Superman is one of Clark's biggest struggles in the comics after character development. Batman had a similar issue where people kept ignoring that the movies explain why he's acting strange but Wonder Woman didn't have that burden because there isn't some personality already engraved into people's minds. Am I making sense here or should I give up trying to analyze this stuff?

Basically it's not that everything was pulled right from Snyder's ass, more like they dropped the ball on getting across ideas from the source material on top of people not taking them into context of itself. Especially someone like Bob who supposedly should be aware of the source material but just goes in to be angry.
 
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Bob is so utterly devoid of empathy I seriously doubt he got choked up at any of these. More likely he thought to himself, "this is the kind of thing that gets a lesser being choked up, not me."

If you got choked up at the frozen corpse of Carrie Fisher playing Space Mary Poppins, you're exceptional beyond man's ability to measure.
Don't be silly! Bob can feel empathy for real, elite, superior human beings, and movie characters, of course.

It's those dumb, un-evolved, stupid, white, racist, sexist, homophobic, incestuous, make-believe-human hicks that he resents. Totally different.
Oh God, don't ruin Ernest for the rest of the world.
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Right, whatever that means.
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Why are you giving this inferior Arkansian the time of day?
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Story of your life, eh Bob?
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And lastly, when the man is uglier than the sweater.
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First of all, replace Earnest with a black actor and any mentions of Southerners here with "the Black community" and you'll have a very, very racist sentence.

Second of all, CHRIST Bob was a beanpole! What happened Bobbo? All that PTSD from Vidya-nam force you to eat Ben and Jerry's by the truckload?
I can't be the only one that thinks the only really terrible flaw of BvS is that the movie itself needed to be a rise-fall-rise trilogy and not a one singular movie.
I can't really bother to sit through the DC movies all the way, but from what I've seen of each one you're pretty much right. With each movie it seems like DC is just trying their hardest to play from the back foot and follow Marvel's footsteps to put out a movie a few months later that'll maybe compete with Marvel's last movie; rather than building up the Cinematic Universe and giving people time to familiarize themselves with the characters. Marvel built up to the first Avengers movie in a way that introduced all the characters individually over several movies and has kept them relatively consistent. It feels like every few years we get a completely new Batman and Superman and now we have a bunch of other heroes we're only just now seeing on screen.

tl;dr DC needs to do their own thing and really build up their cinematic universe. If they want the same pay-off they need to put in the same work.

Mind you this doesn't make Bob's spergy, a-logging rants good, or even okay. It's just sad and autistic.
 
One of his more autistic dreams is saying that a David the Gnome movie would "work"
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How fatty here can keep white knighting Hillary is really pathetic.
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When the fuck are you ever happy?
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And lastly, a true Christmas miracle.
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Basically it's not that everything was pulled right from Snyder's ass, more like they dropped the ball on getting across ideas from the source material on top of people not taking them into context of itself. Especially someone like Bob who supposedly should be aware of the source material but just goes in to be angry.

That makes me want to ask: has Bob ever picked up a comic book in the last few years? I saw him pontificating about the X-Men a couple pages where he failed to do the critical research that (Uncanny) X-Men (vol. 1) was a bimonthly reprint title from #67 to 93 and didn't become monthly until #111, I believe. He operates under the delusion that titles like Ms. Marvel and America are runaway successes, when the latter has been canceled once the new EiC realized that it shipped less than 10k copies. Not only that, he seriously thinks we are going to get movies based on Kamala Khan (HA!) and Riri Williams (Stop! I'm dying of laughter here!) when the reality is that said hypothetical films would crater the MCU. Given that Disney now has the rights to Fantastic Four and X-Men back, I expected the failed legacy heroes to be regulated to animated trash like Marvel Rising.

Additionally, I wonder if he even has a rudimentary awareness of what DC has been doing since Rebirth. Does he know that DC absolutely slaughtered Marvel with its Dark Nights: Metal event and Doomsday Clock? Given how delusional he is, it would surprise me if believed that hot trash like Ms. Marvel and Champions were the best-selling titles EVAH!
 
That makes me want to ask: has Bob ever picked up a comic book in the last few years? I saw him pontificating about the X-Men a couple pages where he failed to do the critical research that (Uncanny) X-Men (vol. 1) was a bimonthly reprint title from #67 to 93 and didn't become monthly until #111, I believe. He operates under the delusion that titles like Ms. Marvel and America are runaway successes, when the latter has been canceled once the new EiC realized that it shipped less than 10k copies. Not only that, he seriously thinks we are going to get movies based on Kamala Khan (HA!) and Riri Williams (Stop! I'm dying of laughter here!) when the reality is that said hypothetical films would crater the MCU. Given that Disney now has the rights to Fantastic Four and X-Men back, I expected the failed legacy heroes to be regulated to animated trash like Marvel Rising.

Additionally, I wonder if he even has a rudimentary awareness of what DC has been doing since Rebirth. Does he know that DC absolutely slaughtered Marvel with its Dark Nights: Metal event and Doomsday Clock? Given how delusional he is, it would surprise me if believed that hot trash like Ms. Marvel and Champions were the best-selling titles EVAH!
Short answer: He's never talked about reading anything recent even from his waifu company or at all really. Mostly vague "I was into comics since childhood".

Long answer: He bought into all of the hype for nuMarvel and never questioned it. Some of the panels people linked to him he called "out of context jokes" that the "alt-right" wouldn't understand. Other times he'd say that comic sales never matter because they have the MCU as he's completely unaware of Marvel Studios breaking off. Recently he complain that those titles are only failures because they didn't push them enough and eventually they'll find their progressive audience. The best however was when C.B. got promoted and he retweeted someone saying publication is full of Nazis anyways and you'd be better off watching movies than reading. Truly a Superior intellectual and a fan of funnybooks.
 
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The best however was when C.B. got promoted and he retweeted someone saying publication is full of Nazis anyways and you'd be better off watching movies than reading.

The story of Bob's life. Watching movies instead reading books because his superior intellect preempts any need for personal growth.
 
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Man, it's hard being the only person who liked The Last Jedi in this thread.

It's even harder when its only other proponent is a fat piece of shit with a sense of self-importance that rivals his stomach in terms of how inflated it is *sigh*

I quite enjoyed it. It has some serious flaws. But it was fun. We’ve seen worse in Star Wars movies “sand, I really really hate sand!”

This is not to say that Bob’s take isn’t idiotic. He tears up over Star Wars, but not his own family dying? There is some real impressive levels of disassociation going on there.
 
Right, whatever that means.
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If I'm reading that correctly, he's trying to say, in the worst way possible, that he thinks trump isn't really in charge and that we should be looking for who's really in charge. Honestly, why he couldn't just say that is beyond me, but then again, I'm not an ubermensch like Bob, so maybe the enlightenment flew over my head.


Why are you giving this inferior Arkansian the time of day?
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I wouldn't trust Bob with safety scissors, also, the guy who spergs about BvS for 3 hours from his parents basement probably couldn't even feed himself half as well as the government could. In fact:


And lastly, a true Christmas miracle
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I think I've made my point.
 
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Bob talking about how to address people is hilariously hypocritical. He says that someone calling him "Bob" is an attempt to assert power, but he's the one throwing around "pal" and "friendo" like he's getting paid every time he says it.

Merry Christmas, Bob. I hope Santa brings you some freaking empathy.
 
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