Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?

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AirdropShitposts said:
Robert Chipman, random YouTuber: "Never. You should permanently reject anyone who disagrees with you on is wrong about anything. And they should be murdered. Not by me, personally, but like the police or military, even though ACAB and all the money we spend on the Military should be used to give free cock chops and titty skittles to children instead. I am a morally good person and superior to all."
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FTFY
 
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A few years ago I spent Thanksgiving at a nursing facility after a leg injury and the food was pretty depressing.

I believe Thanksgiving dinner was Turkey, Mashed Potatoes (Instant), Stuffing (Boxed), Gravy (Neon Yellow), Cranberries (Canned), and some canned Green Beans with a roll and a slice of Pumpkin Pie. Basically the school cafeteria idea of Thanksgiving dinner. Ok but a bit depressing. I'd still take that tray over the slop the Chipman Clan called Thanksgiving dinner.

That dinner reminds me of a scene from Arthur 2.

Arthur say something you're thankful for.

Arthur "I'm thankful I got the smallest piece of meatloaf.".
 
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Sexy Senior Citizen said:
It's the schedule of the terminally online. Such people only sleep because it's a biological imperative; otherwise, they're enslaved by the flickering light of the screen.
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He's literally addicted to the internet. That's not healthy, but looking at Bob proves that he doesn't care about being healthy.
 
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97782205-905E-4E9C-94DA-7C7C2B30B86D.jpeg
 
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Nod Flenders said:
...[L]ooking at Bob proves that he doesn't care about being healthy.
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But he says he can bench 300lbs easily! He's a wilderness survivalist who can conquer the wilds with nothing but a knife and a pair of flip-flops! Are you saying he's a liar? That he deliberately misrepresents himself on the internet to make himself seem better than he really is?
 
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Mr. Nobodyguy 202 said:
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Dishonest question, but let's do a quick list of just shitting on him as a critic:

1. He intentionally amplifies his accent, which will always come off as obnoxious due to how Bostonian comes off as that, even moreso than New Yorker.
2. He intentionally speeds up his voice a bit, and then cuts out his breaths and pauses. This makes it a lot harder to pay attention to anything he says since he's already on another point before you can process his prior words. This was him trying to copy Yahtzee, and it doesn't really work that well for him. Why? Well...
3. He is an insecure sped who uses a thesaurus. Look I know it's an ad hominem, but the thing is Bob in reviews tries to overbuild what he's saying by picking the most verbose method of interlocution, rather than just speak plainly and in a way that most anyone would get. He just makes fucking word salad since he's using words that actually don't work in the way the thesaurus tells him they do.
4. Bob is willing and will always go in with a specific opinion based on what he wants to defend. He will never give a bad score to anything Disney or Marvel related, because he sees them as psychological pins; their success is his success. So he will come up with the most tortured and broken ways of thinking to keep them at at least an 8/10.
4b. Conversely, Bob will invent excuses to dislike a film if he thinks people he hates likes it. Basically he is a partisan hack.
5. He's quite often ignorant on anything really; Bob will not ever state "I'm not familiar with this", because he believes nerds must be omniscient like on TV. This is why he'll say things like "Covenant good" ala Halo, or why he'll usually miss what an actual film set out to do. He can really only kind of do well with low-effort sfx explosions disguised as films.
6. Bob seems to have no clue on how movies even work. This is despite having a film studies degree. Whenever you see someone like RLM or Brad Jones, they'll often either talk about how a movie is supposed to work, or apply their actual passion to it. For all he says he has passion, it's only on media that he sees as linked to the very limited media he watched as a kid. IE only Mario, some of the Marvel tv shows, and Superfriends/Batman. Maybe Godzilla.
 
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Bolo said:
What do you mean "going"?

I can't be bothered to find the tweet, but he already said that the actress playing Kamala Kahn shoulders the weight of the world with this role, or some shit like that.

And even if the series is a complete piece of shit, Robert will do his gymnastics to find some silver line or talk how important the character is for this moment and give a 7.5 or some shit like that.

Don't expect Robert to bad mouth Marvel capeshit anytime soon, even if it is to just opose the chuds, he will stan this shit to his grave.

The funny thing is I think this this whole Marvel stan thing is falling into a void, because I heard next to nothing about this new Hawkeye series, and I was curious about it because I like the leading girl Steinfeld, I remember her from the True Grit remake. I mean, not curious enough to watch the show, but just to see what people thing about it, and so far, I haven't heard much.

My point is that I think it is quite surprising how fast these Marvel Disney+ series are getting with the diminishing returns. No, I'm not one of the tards that are going "THE M-SHE-U is dead, the capeshitp movies are done for, get woke go broke!!", I still think capeshit crap is going to dominate the big blockbusters for a while, but I do find curious that it is getting hard for them to keep in the conversation.

Yeah, the Eternals had the whole drama "OHHH, EVEN THE SHILL CRITICS DIDN'T LIKE IT!!!" and the whole representation and blah blah blah, but it didn't last long and now it is all about to see if a reaching 50 Tobey MAguire is going to wear a Spiderman suit again.

Maybe that is just the nature of the hype machine, and these Marvel movies are all about "what's next", but the movies managed to hold people's attention for over a decade, while the disney+ shit is pretty much gone from the talk, except for the the new home alone which people say it is atrocious.
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Ms. Marvel actually might get a funny reaction out of Bob if only because almost everybody vaguely paying attention to stuff going on about production of the show has a very negative reaction to how loose of an adaptation it's going to be. Current stuff more or less confirmed the rumors about them making her bracelet an important artifact rather than just a bracelet and it seems she's going to be a genie as a new original origin. We already know she's not going to be a shapeshifter and have seen material of her making energy constructs. Pushing the release forward a year after the Eternals drama also isn't a good sign.

Assuming Bob doesn't just join the mob saying the genie idea was a racist change on Marvel Studio's part though I don't know if he will considering how much stock he puts in the legacy characters.
 
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As long as Khamala is still:
1. At the preferable age for our Cuties lover
2. Muslim
3. MCU character

Roberto will stan her. These days its quite apperant he admires the MCU over every original comics anyhow. So changing the origin, the powers etc. wont bother him. Change the politics, though (my best idea: Khamala is Inhuman terrorist which tries to bomb the Xavier school) and he will have a meltdown.
 
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TigerGoblin said:
As long as Khamala is still:
1. At the preferable age for our Cuties lover
2. Muslim
3. MCU character

Roberto will stan her. These days its quite apperant he admires the MCU over every original comics anyhow. So changing the origin, the powers etc. wont bother him. Change the politics, though (my best idea: Khamala is Inhuman terrorist which tries to bomb the Xavier school) and he will have a meltdown.
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Absolutely, it's very obvious Bob's solely an MCU fan. What I meant is more he'd have to go up against other MCU fans who nearly unanimously hate the idea of making her a genie for various different reasons. It's probably going to be a worse version of the Eternals drama where the usual MCU stan scripts don't work when the groups who like and hate the thing aren't the usual splits. I'm not entirely sure how he'd weasel around it.
 
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Whelp, guys - Bob was right for once. Despite having a very diverse cast with half being women, I saw Ghostbusters: Afterlife, and then I raped all the women in the theater to death.

He tried to warn us, but I refused to listen! Oh if only we truly appreciated cheap crotch shot/queef jokes and lolsorandom characters over good jokes and a respectful love of the characters & source material!
 
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