Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Not sure. Usually just done by affixing an adverb stressing intent to one of the many words calling someone an idiot. Intentionally obtuse. Deliberately stupid. Perhaps something involving profanity, as insults like "dumbfuck" and "fuckup" carry a similar implication that the target should know better or is otherwise not wholly innocent.
That's the issue I'm having. It's fun and easy to pick on Bob, but Marquess of Queensberry rules say that he openly declare any forms of mental defect or retardation prior to engaging in open debate. It restricts class and severity of response when your opponent struggles with say, Velcro straps.

Of course, this is likely chicken and egg theory - whether the shrieking hive mind of leftist Twitter attracts the retarded or being in that crowd causes the defect. There's a decent paper to be written if anyone's willing to infiltrate that pack of chimps.
 
I know that a lot of work has been done documenting the sheer volume at which Robert tweets, highlighting just how terrible his sleep schedule is and how much he is addicted to Twitter. I'm not an expert on Twitter at all, but is there a way to track how much interaction he gets with his tweets? We have a cast of supporting characters documented who are regularly seen in his replies, but in the last couple of pages it seems to me that he really doesn't get a lot of likes or retweets. We know his YouTube view counts are low and that he's mostly in a slow drop from sheer inertia of being in at the ground level of YouTube, but what about his tweets? As vile as he is it is comforting to think that he mostly is just howling into the void, but are we able to compare him to other blue checks, his "colleagues", or even other lolcows?
This website will probably give you the best information:

Also, fucking hell, when does he sleep?
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Does anyone still remember covid?
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You can't treat dumb either.
It doesn't take a genius to realize that pulling the rug out from under people on a societal scale is likely to have negative repercussions on their mental well-being. And no, Bobby, this goes far beyond "Karen can't go to Applebee's, abloobloobloo." The incessant fearmongering over the deadly superplague, the shutdown of many recreational venues that help relieve stress, the isolation of lockdowns, the social distancing, the masks as constant reminders of the very serious pandemic, kids being shut off from their friends and unable to socialize at school, churches forced to stop meeting in person, practically every real-world social network killed off, businesses destroyed, financial stress...yeah, no wonder people got depressed and turned to the bottle to dull the pain.

And all over a virus that had a minuscule chance of doing any serious harm to you, let alone kill you.

Meanwhile, smoothbrain Bob seems to believe that the solution to depression is "just stop being sad lol." This, coming from the guy that continues to have decades of unresolved mental issues. Any sort of nuance to public health policy is thrown out the window with the lardass, because why do you want to kill people?!

I swear, it's honestly impressive that one man can be so wrong on so many levels.
 
I will never understand why smoothed-brain losers like Bob have these delusions of grandeur and perfection.

I don’t understand why people like Bob chase the illusion of perfection.

Can someone explain it to me?
Unmitigated ego. Think of his superior future rant: Do you think it strange that he'd expect a supermodel to be sitting on the armrest of his seat on the starship?

One of the nice notable things about Bob is that he doesn't have any social cunning, not even the basic white lies and tongue-holding we all use to keep our social spheres running. You can see what he's thinking if you can bear to look at his Twitter feed; his only protection is the sheer volume of trash he unleashes. (@Positron is providing an amazing service to us, here.) If life is poker, Bob's got the cards backwards and thinks he's holding five of a kind. But not only can we see his hand, we can see he's the only one playing with an Uno deck.
 
And no, Bobby, this goes far beyond "Karen can't go to Applebee's, abloobloobloo."
Meanwhile, smoothbrain Bob seems to believe that the solution to depression is "just stop being sad lol." This, coming from the guy that continues to have decades of unresolved mental issues.
It's the same tack he takes with the 2020 Burn Loot Murder riots. "Oh, did your WENDY'S get burned down? Boo hoo hoo, Obsolescent." Meanwhile anyone who turned on the news (or who had the bad luck to live in a blue enclave) knew exactly how destructive those riots were, how widespread the damage. Minneapolis got fast-tracked to being the next Detroit. If Bob can simply deny something ever happened, then he doesn't have to address the issue or make a reasoned argument -- something which he seems incapable of doing at any rate.
 
View attachment 3100500

I have lost RAM over how un self-aware this is.

*gestures at thread*
I like how the tweet Bob made was full of severe lacking of researching and had to cling onto something and refuse to research, and just went with the Joe Rogan tweet like nothing.
He's too smooth-brained to actually do some research before tweeting and instead put up a zero research tweet that also attacks other people with his huge inflated ego because of them not listening to his opinions.
 
View attachment 3100500

I have lost RAM over how un self-aware this is.

*gestures at thread*
But Bob will never have closure. Unless it's a hipster piece about nothing, most movies have some sort of resolution. MovieBob will forever be MovieBob, which is why a movie about him could not be made. You could, of course, make a series about the people he interacts with but they would need to change for a compelling narrative.
 
This website will probably give you the best information:

Also, fucking hell, when does he sleep?
View attachment 3100715
Intereting data, if not exactly what we were looking for. I may attempt a deep dive into comparing him to others. I think that critical drinker and rlm have been compared against him the past as far as reviewers, and razorfist and styx as far as lolcows.

Disney, history, and told seem to feature a lot in his tweets.
 
This website will probably give you the best information:

Also, fucking hell, when does he sleep?
View attachment 3100715
Huh, maybe he's not human after all....

Looks like he's got a low period 1200-1700 UTC. That's only 5 hours but I'm going to add an hour and a half of arbitrary fuzz because hourly is fairly low-res and I don't know how/if it corrects for DST. So, 11:15 - 17:45. If I did this right, 11:15 UTC is 7:15 AM Massachusetts time, and 17:45 is 1:45 PM.

I suspect he stays up all night (all the better to catch those exclusive screeners for the Hollywood elite and write his incisive reviews while it's still fresh in his mind, ahem) then has broken sleep from sunrise to early afternoon. Broken enough that he grabs for his phone to occupy him until exhaustion overtakes him again. When I was an infant my teething toy was light blue, and in the shape of a pretzel. I prefer that to a smartphone for soothing a restless baby.
 
I will never understand why smoothed-brain losers like Bob have these delusions of grandeur and perfection.

I don’t understand why people like Bob chase the illusion of perfection.

Can someone explain it to me?
The pigfuck saw too many movies and cartoons where the weak underdog one-ups his superiors and his bullies, and thought that logic would automatically apply in real life as well. And since he gained some modicum of fame, he thought that was very much enough to prove himself as a superior to his peers.
 
It's the same tack he takes with the 2020 Burn Loot Murder riots. "Oh, did your WENDY'S get burned down? Boo hoo hoo, Obsolescent." Meanwhile anyone who turned on the news (or who had the bad luck to live in a blue enclave) knew exactly how destructive those riots were, how widespread the damage. Minneapolis got fast-tracked to being the next Detroit. If Bob can simply deny something ever happened, then he doesn't have to address the issue or make a reasoned argument -- something which he seems incapable of doing at any rate.
If Bob's local McDonald's burned down he would be calling for martial law.

Of course his only other option is Mountain Dew chicken. Why when I imagine dinner at the Chipmans' do I picture the dinner scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Is it just because I'd be screaming?
 
Huh, maybe he's not human after all....

Looks like he's got a low period 1200-1700 UTC. That's only 5 hours but I'm going to add an hour and a half of arbitrary fuzz because hourly is fairly low-res and I don't know how/if it corrects for DST. So, 11:15 - 17:45. If I did this right, 11:15 UTC is 7:15 AM Massachusetts time, and 17:45 is 1:45 PM.

I suspect he stays up all night (all the better to catch those exclusive screeners for the Hollywood elite and write his incisive reviews while it's still fresh in his mind, ahem) then has broken sleep from sunrise to early afternoon. Broken enough that he grabs for his phone to occupy him until exhaustion overtakes him again. When I was an infant my teething toy was light blue, and in the shape of a pretzel. I prefer that to a smartphone for soothing a restless baby.
That's nearly seven hours on a good day, but at the worst possible time. I can't imagine how anyone could sleep from sunrise to early afternoon, unless you slept in a windowless basement.
 
That's nearly seven hours on a good day, but at the worst possible time.
Seven hours if you include some charitable rounding, apparently broken consistently enough to move the needle on the 1300 bar for Twitter posts, and as you say at the worst possible time. All in all it seems a great way to maintain that keen Chipman intellect.

I can't imagine how anyone could sleep from sunrise to early afternoon, unless you slept in a windowless basement.
Some people can just sleep in the day. When I was 23, living at home, and unemployed for a spell I got on a weird 4 AM to noon pattern, partly because I was on dialup and scouring job sites for a couple of hours tied up the house phone, so I saved it for after everyone else was in bed. I took a bedtime walk and watched the sun rise on the summer solstice. Was nice.

All that said, I was 23 so my body was tolerant of such shenanigans, and I had no responsibilities beyond finding a job. I couldn't do it now for multiple reasons, not the least being I have to WAKE UP at 4 AM for my current job. But that's what it comes down to - unlike Bob or the kid that used to look out from behind my eyes, people depend on me.
 
It's the same tack he takes with the 2020 Burn Loot Murder riots. "Oh, did your WENDY'S get burned down? Boo hoo hoo, Obsolescent." Meanwhile anyone who turned on the news (or who had the bad luck to live in a blue enclave) knew exactly how destructive those riots were, how widespread the damage. Minneapolis got fast-tracked to being the next Detroit. If Bob can simply deny something ever happened, then he doesn't have to address the issue or make a reasoned argument -- something which he seems incapable of doing at any rate.
Mainstream media covered "Mostly peaceful protests", Bob only watches mainstream media, and does someone wanna refresh my memory: Were there any Mostly Peaceful ™️ Marches for St. Floyd of Fentanyl in Lynn, Revere, or Boston proper? If it didn't really happen much there, of course Bob thinks nothing happened other than a Wendy's getting torched.
 
I will never understand why smoothed-brain losers like Bob have these delusions of grandeur and perfection.

I don’t understand why people like Bob chase the illusion of perfection.

Can someone explain it to me?

In spite of rampant Tooheyism on the left, there are those who still think they deserve to be 100% perfect and in the right and flawless as far as that being what one should strive to be, society and their own physical appearance, even if they have to lie and hurt people who call them out on their shit.

See also troons who use anime avatars to keep up the illusion they are pretty young women and not an ugly man in a dress.
 
Mainstream media covered "Mostly peaceful protests", Bob only watches mainstream media, and does someone wanna refresh my memory: Were there any Mostly Peaceful ™️ Marches for St. Floyd of Fentanyl in Lynn, Revere, or Boston proper? If it didn't really happen much there, of course Bob thinks nothing happened other than a Wendy's getting torched.
I have a feeling you could use magic to take
Bob around to the different riots during Summer 2020 and he’d wordsalad his way into an excuse about how it’s not real.

Then you follow it up by setting him in front of Rittenhouse while he’s ventilating pedophiles, doing the world a favor but it won’t change history, as Kenosha, WI will legally declare that Bob’s death was a mercy killing.
 
I have a feeling you could use magic to take
Bob around to the different riots during Summer 2020 and he’d wordsalad his way into an excuse about how it’s not real.

Then you follow it up by setting him in front of Rittenhouse while he’s ventilating pedophiles, doing the world a favor but it won’t change history, as Kenosha, WI will legally declare that Bob’s death was a mercy killing.
I don't know, the way he dismisses things is because he genuinely believes what Hollywood tells him. He thinks LA and NY are perfect utopias because that's what his movies tell him, same for why he thinks small towns can be safely wiped out without consequence. If you took him to the riots, he'd admit they're real, but just try to spin it so they're MAGA trash pretending to be BLM supporters.
 
I have a feeling you could use magic to take
Bob around to the different riots during Summer 2020 and he’d wordsalad his way into an excuse about how it’s not real.

Then you follow it up by setting him in front of Rittenhouse while he’s ventilating pedophiles, doing the world a favor but it won’t change history, as Kenosha, WI will legally declare that Bob’s death was a mercy killing.
I'm not optimistic that 5.56 could penetrate Bob's layers of blubber.
 
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