Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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"He wishes to sabotage Sonic out of sick brand loyalty to make sure it can never recover and to be killed off so Mario can be the sole dominant mascot."

Even Nintendo wouldn't want that. They like Sonic pretty well since he sells games on their platform now and have done crossover games with him and Mario. I wonder if Bob got really, really upset about a game with Mario and Sonic in it. It's a gap in my Bob scholarship, I'm sad to say.
I think he just ignores them, kinda how he ignored those Mario&Raving squad games, most he ever said about them was "Dem dude brass ruin muh Mario!!!" all because Mario was given a lazer gun
 
I just realized something. Bob's "This is this thing plus that other thing" nonsense regarding Sanic the Hedgehog and how it should be "fixed" and how his fix is "High Plains Drifter meets Secret of NIMH" actually sounds a lot more like Knight Rider (1982) than motherfucking High Plains Drifter.

Stay with me here.

Brown Hedgehog gets turned blue?
Michael Long gets shot in the face, is given plastic surgery by benefactor Wilton Knight to save his life, and now looks like Michael Knight (who looks like Garthe Knight, Wilton Knight's narcissistic sociopathic son).

-Michael Knight is a reluctant hero that has to be coaxed into doing the heroic thing, basically
-Instead of the smartass car KITT, Sanic has Tails to bail him out/help him

Now I know Bob was born in 1981, and thus was only a year old when Knight Rider first came out, but shit, it got into reruns enough that he SHOULD have been able to see it eventually. It's not a fucking movie, but for pete's sake, even a smoothbrain like him should be able to make a more fitting "x meets y" like that, even with a TV show.

Holy shit I'm not even a film critic ™️ nor have I a film degree and I'm better at this shit than Bob.
 
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Potential A-log here, and apologies in advance if so. But I'd really love it if someone trolled MovieBob the way the pests troll Patrick Tomsilson IRL. Calling up his phone pretending to be Vice journalists, putting up fake Craigslist ads telling people he's selling black people pepperoni, getting him to do a gay litlte "thinkers and believers" rant over the phone before he breaks down and just starts screaming "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH."

A man can dream.
 
Same reason he acts like an expert on everything.

He’s a retarded cunt.
He has to, so much of his identity, when it isn't wrapped up in consumer worship is wrapped up in defending an ego that says resarch and listening to others isn't needed, you are perfect and all-knowing as-is.

He can't admit to one without the other being affected.

If he admits he's not all-knowledgeable, then he's not really a galaxy beain critic

If he admits he's not really a critic, then his critical thinking on all matters from Mario to Mayo genocide is suspect.
 
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I just realized something. Bob's "This is this thing plus that other thing" nonsense regarding Sanic the Hedgehog and how it should be "fixed" and how his fix is "High Plains Drifter meets Secret of NIMH" actually sounds a lot more like Knight Rider (1982) than motherfucking High Plains Drifter.

Stay with me here.

Brown Hedgehog gets turned blue?
Michael Long gets shot in the face, is given plastic surgery by benefactor Wilton Knight to save his life, and now looks like Michael Knight (who looks like Garthe Knight, Wilton Knight's narcissistic sociopathic son).

-Michael Knight is a reluctant hero that has to be coaxed into doing the heroic thing, basically
-Instead of the smartass car KITT, Sanic has Tails to bail him out/help him

Now I know Bob was born in 1981, and thus was only a year old when Knight Rider first came out, but shit, it got into reruns enough that he SHOULD have been able to see it eventually. It's not a fucking movie, but for pete's sake, even a smoothbrain like him should be able to make a more fitting "x meets y" like that, even with a TV show.

Holy shit I'm not even a film critic ™️ nor have I a film degree and I'm better at this shit than Bob.
Ok. Pray for me, I'm going to watch that video so I can make an intelligent commentary as a person whose seen High Plains Drifter 4 or 5 times....

Well, that was one of the worst things I've ever seen. I don't think Bob has ever seen High Plains Drifter. The drifter is a somewhat malevolent force, possibly a vengeful spirit. He's not your normal good guy Western hero. (John Wayne reportedly hated High Plains Drifter.) I think Bob just pulled the title High Plains Drifter but meant some other more generic Western he vaguely remembers. It has some down right unsettling stuff in it.

Loved the misogynistic hate aimed toward Tomb Raider. I know exactly why he hates her too. Back when N64 and Playstation were competing the game magazines were comparing Tomb Raider favourably to Super Mario 64. I'm guessing a younger MovieBob read that and decided "Fuck that slut, how dare she!"

Yes, I'm sure Sega wants to murder their marketable characters so Sonic can be more edgy for people like MovieBob rather than sell them as plush toys to children. Indeed, what are children? I'm sure when Bob was a child he hated plush toys and simply dreamed of Mario murdering his enemies gruesomely (with those enemies also being children).

Obviously his desire to put Bullet Time in Sonic was a wonderful idea which really captures the idea of a game where the thrill of speeding around is kind of the point. We should probably add Bullet Time to Sonic Racing too. Although I'm not sure who Sonic will race against now that the cast have all been murdered (per MovieBob's fantasy). I guess Billy Hatcher and Ryo from Shenmue will have to do more heavy lifting.
 
Potential A-log here, and apologies in advance if so. But I'd really love it if someone trolled MovieBob the way the pests troll Patrick Tomsilson IRL. Calling up his phone pretending to be Vice journalists, putting up fake Craigslist ads telling people he's selling black people pepperoni, getting him to do a gay litlte "thinkers and believers" rant over the phone before he breaks down and just starts screaming "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH."

A man can dream.
Believe it or not, Bob is marginally smarter than Fatrick. He's smart enough to not engage trolls, so he's probably smart enough to learn from a troll op and react accordingly.

Don't get me wrong, Bob's still a moron. But Bob is abreast to how social media and the internet works in a way our prize pig can't match.
 
Believe it or not, Bob is marginally smarter than Fatrick. He's smart enough to not engage trolls, so he's probably smart enough to learn from a troll op and react accordingly.

Don't get me wrong, Bob's still a moron. But Bob is abreast to how social media and the internet works in a way our prize pig can't match.
In the back of my head I was thinking "is it really fair to call Blob smarter than Patrick? He'd have to be really, really fucking stupid." Then you said it out loud and I realized it was true. Sweet lord.
 
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Am I ignorant, or is there any land on this planet that has been traced back to the very first ancestral owners that's still in unbroken possession of that land by those ancestral owners to this day?

I understand there are a couple of tiny tribes on islands that could claim their land isn't "stolen," but does that apply to any of the rest of the world that people use or care about? You know, the good places where people have indoor plumbing?

The "stolen land" angle's been catching a so fucking what from me for a while.
Someone once said, "Possession is nine tenths of the law". And the Lakota don't possess the land, or the means to take it back. Right of Conquest is a thing; it can be argued that it shouldn't be, but it is, and to argue that you should be given something back on the basis that your ancestors were too weak, corrupt, stupid or unlucky to keep control of it in the first place is going to be an uphill battle.

And before anyone gets mad at me, I would point out that the Mexicans are doing exactly this in the Southwestern US-- Streaming across a largely unprotected border, moving into the local populace, blending in to avoid deportation-- assuming the government even wants to do so-- and outbreeding the locals. In the future, they will come to possess that territory by virtue of the fact that they live there and control it.
 
@Koby_Fish
Having watched a LOT of westerns, INCLUDING High Plains Drifter, it in no way has fuck-all to do with the thing Bob proposed, except in the bare bones way of "reluctant hero, he come to town" - which could be said of Shane, A Fistful of Dollars, and a bunch of other westerns - hell, of the lot of them, High Plains Drifter fits the LEAST
I think that Bob is arguing high plains drifter because of the twist at the end of that movie as it ties in to his plot idea but otherwise it really isn't very similar
 
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If you go to the original image the last line is "the digital equivalent of a superfund site, Twitter." I guess he thinks it's a burn on Elon.

Problem is if you follow the equivalency through, this is someone who - of his own volition - lives in a superfund site mocking someone else for buying it.
Bobby is part of the reason that Twitter is a superfund site.

Say, if you were Musk, how would you idiot-proof Twitter?
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Oreo tries to tick a few woke boxes at once. They made a short video in which a second-gen Chinese immigrant with terrible Mandarin comes out as gay to his mom. What disturbs me is the bilingual punning of the English pronoun I and the Chinese word for love "愛" -- love is equated with narcissism.
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When it comes to big corps, Bobby is easily satisfied.

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"One dead 'transkids' is too many".
I agree and I expect DeSantis does too. That's why he tries to prevent transsexuals from creating more 'transkids', while states like Texas have prevented medical transition of children.

Glenn Greenwald.
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I don't know if there is a formal name for this but I like to call it "Streets of London fallacy" after Ralph McTell's song. The fact that someone has it worse than you doesn't mean your concerns aren't valid, or that you should not get emotional for them.

White people in America never have food shortages. Bobby is white and he has never been deprived of his fairly small amounts of food.
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Peter Coffin.
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Bobby explains his "Gen X" cohort's obsession with 24/7 cable news:
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Bobby's idol Fallon Fox, who got to smash a woman's skull with his bare hands:
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An MMA match lasts how long? 10 minutes? I guess most battle skirmishes last longer than that.


Ms. Marvel:
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RLM mentions that nerdbeards are far from the only group who are mad about how MCU handles Kamala:
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As for the supposition "MCU never had a plan":
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Turning Red:
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The next dose of Disney brainrot:
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Another A24 product:
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Synder bros:
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I can think of at least one group of people who keep getting their demands met (at least in the West) yet keep getting madder. Bobby idolizes that group.

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Another nightmarish long thread involving Luke and Chu-Chu, this time starting off about BoJack Horseman. Luke doesn't like the way the show seems to imply that lonely people in existential dread -- like Luke -- are predisposed to committing sex crimes.
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Chu-chu chimes in to give a cross-cultural, relativist argument on statutory rape. Bobby remembers the teenage temptresses he saw on old TV shows.
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Then the subject switches to Mythic Quest and Charlie Sheen. Bobby thinks the Charlie Sheen stand-in in the show resonates with him because "I AM a white guy who works face-forward in entertainment".
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Just download some porn dammit!
 
Archie Sonic never had human kid characters. Robotnik & Snively were the only humans for many MANY issues until Sonic Adventure released and they had to update the world to remain game consistent.
Not quite true. There was Hope Kintobor, who was Snively's sister and Robotnik's niece who first appeared somewhere in the 90s. She didn't play much of a role in the series until she joined G.U.N. as their resident kid genius and became part of Shadow/Team Dark's supporting cast. As for humans appearing in the series, I recall that #50 revealed Robotic and Snively were from a similar species called Overlanders who fought and lost against the Mobians in the Great War. At least until Archie hit the reset button with the Worlds Collide crossover.

(As an aside: a Mobian King outright banned guns due to Ken Penders' opinions on gun control, including artillery, which the Overlanders used. Even with power ring technology and the defection of Ivo Kintobor, I don't know how the Mobians won. EDIT: Apparently, the war concluded with a duel. How convenient.)
 
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Not quite true. There was Hope Kintobor, who was Snively's sister and Robotnik's niece who first appeared somewhere in the 90s. She didn't play much of a role in the series until she joined G.U.N. as their resident kid genius and became part of Shadow/Team Dark's supporting cast. As for humans appearing in the series, I recall that #50 revealed Robotic and Snively were from a similar species called Overlanders who fought and lost against the Mobians in the Great War. At least until Archie hit the reset button with the Worlds Collide crossover.

(As an aside: a Mobian King outright banned guns due to Ken Penders' opinions on gun control, including artillery, which the Overlanders used. Even with power ring technology and the defection of Ivo Kintobor, I don't know how the Mobians won.)
The penders era of comics was was certainly a time in the franchise
 
Archie Sonic never had human kid characters. Robotnik & Snively were the only humans for many MANY issues until Sonic Adventure released and they had to update the world to remain game consistent.
Technically they did. Later on in the issue, they introduced this kid character who was like Snively's cousin or something like that, then there was this whole retarded explanation of how Mobius was on Earth after nuclear war because of Aliens and the remaining humans living in this bunker/dome and this was WAAAY before Sonic Adventure I believe.

Edit: Just noticed that I was Ninja'ed
 
Potential A-log here, and apologies in advance if so. But I'd really love it if someone trolled MovieBob the way the pests troll Patrick Tomsilson IRL. Calling up his phone pretending to be Vice journalists, putting up fake Craigslist ads telling people he's selling black people pepperoni, getting him to do a gay litlte "thinkers and believers" rant over the phone before he breaks down and just starts screaming "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH."

A man can dream.

Threaten me with a good time.

The greasy fat fuck would deserve every bit of it, the toxic pustule that he is.

Lacking that, maybe he'll insult Elon Musk one too many times, and get his Twitter banned.
 
Bobby's idol Fallon Fox, who got to smash a woman's skull with his bare hands:
fallonfox.png
An MMA match lasts how long? 10 minutes? I guess most battle skirmishes last longer than that.
Geez this is so dumb. This is like saying it's fascist if I claim some adult can beat up a child but would lose to Mike Tyson. That's not "too weak/strong" dichotomy (which Bobby also indulges in with regards to white males) but just an observation of the bell curve.

Also if you can't handle deadnaming then how you gonna handle being shot at?
 
Say, if you were Musk, how would you idiot-proof Twitter?
Like drying water, I'm not sure it's possible to idiot-proof a collection of idiots.
It's amazing how similar people collect, like slime pooling in a depression.

Mr. Not-a-person fears a purge.

2-MHz-brain recalls a memorable pattern of lights from the idiot box.

Whoops-my-anarchy-symbol complains about the new peril of someone stifling free speech. On Twitter.

If self-awareness were a physical thing, it would be so rare it would cost more per ounce than printer ink.
 
Not quite true. There was Hope Kintobor, who was Snively's sister and Robotnik's niece who first appeared somewhere in the 90s. She didn't play much of a role in the series until she joined G.U.N. as their resident kid genius and became part of Shadow/Team Dark's supporting cast. As for humans appearing in the series, I recall that #50 revealed Robotic and Snively were from a similar species called Overlanders who fought and lost against the Mobians in the Great War. At least until Archie hit the reset button with the Worlds Collide crossover.

(As an aside: a Mobian King outright banned guns due to Ken Penders' opinions on gun control, including artillery, which the Overlanders used. Even with power ring technology and the defection of Ivo Kintobor, I don't know how the Mobians won. EDIT: Apparently, the war concluded with a duel. How convenient.)
Yeah. Humans appeared in flashback in issue 50.

Shadow the hedgehog would not have existed before his appearance in Sonic adventure 2. Which is what I said, the comics didn't do humans until the games introduced them. Sonic adventure released in 98. The comic began in 93. So humans first arrived in the comic book post R&S in issue 79.

Technically they did. Later on in the issue, they introduced this kid character who was like Snively's cousin or something like that, then there was this whole retarded explanation of how Mobius was on Earth after nuclear war because of Aliens and the remaining humans living in this bunker/dome and this was WAAAY before Sonic Adventure I believe.

Edit: Just noticed that I was Ninja'ed
No that was issue 148.
 
Bobby's idol Fallon Fox, who got to smash a woman's skull with his bare hands:
View attachment 3146987
An MMA match lasts how long? 10 minutes? I guess most battle skirmishes last longer than that.
Actually, "Fallon," both of these statements can be, and are, true.

If you want your army to be as strong as it can possibly be, letting troons in is a terrible idea, no matter where they are in the male-to-"female" pipeline. From the start, you've already got someone who's not mentally sound, believing they're a woman trapped in a man's body (or vice versa, though the latter is probably less common). Then you throw in hormone blockers and "treatments" that fuck with their body and throw their biological systems out of whack. And if you go full-on cockchop, now they've got an open wound that they have to dilate permanently and keep from getting infected, neither of which are easy on a battlefield. All of these expenses have to be paid by the army (or whatever branch), which equals a lot of extra costs for an objectively worse soldier.

On the other side of the story, troons in women's sports are also a terrible idea, for the opposite reason. In war, you're going to be fighting predominantly men, and as mentioned, they're not going to be slowed down by needing to take mandatory dilation breaks. But as we've seen countless times, a troon of average athleticism is still able to dominate women's sports due to their innate biological advantages that titty skittles will never fully erase. These troons also generally avoid getting their dicks lopped off so they don't have to worry about competing with a festering wound, which means that they're still likely getting a continued testosterone drip, albeit reduced. I'll bet any female MMA fighter is thinking twice about being in the ring with "Fallon" after he brutalized his previous opponents.

Finally, my god, the irony of those responses. Leftists are constantly playing those rhetorical games, both when portraying themselves and their opponents. Lefties are simultaneously strong leaders who will conquer the world with their brilliant ideology and weak little victims being oppressed by those evil fascists. And on the flip side, conservatives are both pathetic shrimps that will be quashed under heel and menacing overlords with tendrils in every institution threatening to destroy us all. Swap out whichever definition you need as you see fit, and claim harassment anytime you're called out on it.
 
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These people are imagining Sonic to be much more ambitious than it really is. I think the third film will conclude the series, and may be some direct-to-streaming shit later.

"...Doesn't interact with any children in his CHILDREN'S MOVIE"

Nitpicky much? Me thinks he just looking for petty excuses to shit on the film. Which leads me to.

"He wishes to sabotage Sonic out of sick brand loyalty to make sure it can never recover and to be killed off so Mario can be the sole dominant mascot."

Even Nintendo wouldn't want that. They like Sonic pretty well since he sells games on their platform now and have done crossover games with him and Mario. I wonder if Bob got really, really upset about a game with Mario and Sonic in it. It's a gap in my Bob scholarship, I'm sad to say.

Bob doesn't care, and even if he were to acknowledge the Olympic games. He'd still be a passive aggressive toward Sonic. His mind has this tribalistic tunnel vision that any chance of them co-existing is simply unacceptable. Instead of being honest about it, he'll just put that hatred to be the most passive aggressive responses imaginable. Bob is too much of a fuckhead to accept their success.

Ms. Marvel:
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Being a Green Lantern Rip off is not interesting. If anything, it completely misses the point of why Kamala is a compelling character IMO. Her powers were never meant to look cute, or gorgeous. They are a reflection of her insecurity, and growth as a character as she was never meant to be on par with Carol. Now they are just in services for the upcoming The Marvels film. But that would imply reading the fucking comic, and trying to understand the thematic meaning of that first comic run. Or being relatively unbiased to what the MCU does. Something it's clear Bob doesn't do.
 
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