Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Ralph Barnhardt]

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At some point he learned about Warhammer, decided it was masculine and appealed to Believers and now he's try to bring it down with his pitiful Twitter account. Basically the same thing he does with DC and Batman related media especially. Like when he trashed the Dark Knight Rises because Bane became a 4chan meme.

This take from him is so bizarre to me because it implies that Warhammer, 40k or fantasy, is a dumbed down version of Risk. At best, Risk is a dumbed down version of Axis and Allies. Something like Warhammer, or any miniatures game for that matter, takes planning, positioning, and a plethora of other things as battles are not won by a mere rolling of the dice. It's like he heard something on discord about how chuds like the God Emperor meme and decided that Warhammer is for mouth breathing racists.

Privateer Press > GW
My Blackhide Wrastler can beat up your Dreadnought.

WHO THE FUCK LET BOB OUT OF HIS CAGE??
https://twitter.com/RTE_PrimeTime/status/1549524231469371392

That fucker really is ahead of the curve...

End our dependence on farming?! Who let Bob out of his cage, indeed. And what exactly will replace farms? Will we wind up with a situation where we'd have to "live off the land" but that's prohibited at least on the meat side because all 'game' belongs to the 'King' and to hunt = poaching? Vertical buildings of hydroponics? Mandated vegetable gardens for single-family dwelling? Or just plain "Eat the bugs and live in the pod"?

I mean I knew George Monbiot was a fucking idiot, but holy shit.

You dumb assholes. You have no idea how farming works and what the future holds! Farms are quickly becoming pointless in this brave new world filled with incredible advancements. You chucklefucks worrying about these farmers hogging acres of viable land while being racist and belching CO2 from their gas guzzling TRACDURS! Allow my smarter ass to school you with a youtube video that will make you staple your hand to your head so you're forever in amazement.

Original version

I love Dahir Insaat and recommend everyone check out their videos of incredibly stupid ideas (my personal favorite). I have no problem believing that this is how Bob thinks things could work if only those worthless mongoloids would get out of the way of superiah fucha!

 

[NaviSpider]

Bob wouldn't be able to play any of these games anyway, so this is all theoretical to him. Bob wouldn't even be able to play Fighting Fantasy in his Mom's basement, all that page flipping would drive him crazy. Honestly, we're all better off. Can you imagine if MovieBob tried to do some kind of Critical Role knockoff show? Well, I guess we can see what it would be like by watching some of his Game Overthinker episodes.

I would love for Bob to livestream a d&d show. Just imagine the trainwreck it would be!

His homebrew world would be some MCU style Mushroom Kingdom where Mario is the king and Bowser is the President of the USA. All the evil races are mouth breathing rednecks that contribute nothing to society, while the free thinking ubermensch slaughter them in droves on the daily.

And his DM style would be atrocious, the most "whay I say goes" type of powerhungry asshole who never lets his players have fun. Any time a player acts in a way that Bob finds morally reprehensible they are immediately punished or kicked out of the game.They're there to appreciate his world and he'll be damned if they don't like it.

I love this so much I might write a Bob fanfic about it.

Assuming he can get some people to actually want to play with him. Of course.

 

[Koby_Fish]

Too much reading, math, and imagination required for someone as simple as him to get into it. The fat fuck's too dumb for even the most basic RPG like Pokemon.

So, a small meal for Bob

He likes and doesn't like it, if that makes sense. He loves it because it's a long running property with plenty of movies and merchandise to consoom, but he doesn't like that they're movies that don't appeal to him personally and so he doesn't like to consoom them. Ever since Deathly Hallows Part 2 came out, he's been clamoring for a remake of the movies. And he assumes that since the movies stopped coming out, and the Fantastic Beasts ones weren't well received, he could easily ignore the franchise to concentrate on Marvel and Star Wars. But it keeps coming back, and it annoys him to be so wrong. He insists that they have no value, yet people, even the 'thinkers' still love them. He insists that it's dead, then more movies and games come out. He insists that JK will be forced to sell the franchise to WB, but she's making so much money she has no incentive to.

If it ever comes under corporate control, he'll start singing its praises to get in with the cool kids. But until then, it's the devil.

Hell, Bob's too stupid for Final Fantasy. Especially Mystic Quest, which is basically Final Fantasy for toddlers. Pokemon is basically Final Fantasy but with but 1v1 battle instead of 3-5 characters taking turns all on the screen at the same time. Hell, I didn't have a gameboy so I didn't get to play any pokemon until I could get it on emulator a few years ago. However I had no trouble playing it because all it was is basically the same gameplay style as Final Fantasy. Bob's problem with Pokemon is the same problem he has with Final Fantasy or hell, any RPG/JRPG. It requires THINKING, and Bob, despite all his bluster to the contrary, is not much of a Thinker .

I would love for Bob to livestream a d&d show. Just imagine the trainwreck it would be!

His homebrew world would be some MCU style Mushroom Kingdom where Mario is the king and Bowser is the President of the USA. All the evil races are mouth breathing rednecks that contribute nothing to society, while the free thinking ubermensch slaughter them in droves on the daily.

And his DM style would be atrocious, the most "whay I say goes" type of powerhungry asshole who never lets his players have fun. Any time a player acts in a way that Bob finds morally reprehensible they are immediately punished or kicked out of the game.They're there to appreciate his world and he'll be damned if they don't like it.

I love this so much I might write a Bob fanfic about it.

Assuming he can get some people to actually want to play with him. Of course.

maybe he can rope Lesser Brother and Lesser Brother's friends into it.

 

[Jaracainofthewind]

Hm, maybe it's just been my luck with game stores. But the people I've met and played with were all rather chill dudes.

It is entirely your luck. Because god, the new popularity of D&D has brought all kinds of Moviebob's to the hobby. I've been saying for years. I'm fucking flabbergasted that we live in a world where GW are running their games better than WotC. But here we fucking are.

Anyone wanna tell Fatboy that so-called "Good guys" also play Warhammer, just like "Badguys" also play D&D? Or should we let him find out on his own?

Even better. GW got their start by publishing D&D shit in Merry Ol' England. And that Fantasy Warhammer was them turning their minis that they made for D&D into a wargame. Going full circle from Chainmail.

They're also responsible for the greatest D&D monster of all time. The Flumph. Which I feel Movie Bob would feel a strong kinship with.

 

[Mola Ram]

They're also responsible for the greatest D&D monster of all time. The Flumph. Which I feel Movie Bob would feel a strong kinship with.

Nonsense. Flumphs are lawful good.

 

[Bush King]

Too much reading, math, and imagination required for someone as simple as him to get into it. The fat fuck's too dumb for even the most basic RPG like Pokemon.

Exactly this, part of what makes The Blob a cow is his position as the fat, quiet, bullied kid most bookish nerds experienced in school with none of the intelligence, combined with an inerrant need to CONSOOM.

He so desperately needs those high school years of bullying to not be in vain. He thinks that having been bullied he made it into the nerd club, when what got you there was a love for playing DOOM/Halo CE on school computers or spending all of lunch discussing Morrowind vs Oblivion. He thinks obsessively playing Mario over a Summer holiday makes him entitled to the moniker of nerd alongside the abilities associated with it in pop-culture- ("Science! Fuck yeah!").

By the time Bob was in his last year of high school, his video game knowledge was almost a decade out of date. Not even the nerds want to associate with you if you are that lame and can't contribute to a discussion.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

It's actually always kind of surprised me that Bob isn't a D&D geek. He fits the more obnoxious phenotypes to a T, both physically and in terms of attitude. Hell, he even has the same shitty trenchcoat they all started wearing when Vampire got big.

Bob can never be into D&D as for playing the game, you need friends or people who can stand you.

More importantly, it’s a game that requires you to think, something Bob will never possess because he’s a dim witted landmass.

Occam's Razor suggests a simpler answer: playing D&D takes time away from Twitter. A D&D game can last for 3-4 hours (sometimes longer), which is time better spent wishing death on the Trumpsuckers.

 

[Jaracainofthewind]

Nonsense. Flumphs are lawful good.

You bring up a strong point. How familiar are you with Star Trek? Especially the Mirror Mirror episode. Like hear me out right, tell me Bob isn't just the evil version of a Flumph. He's even got the goatee...

 

[Mola Ram]

You bring up a strong point. How familiar are you with Star Trek? Especially the Mirror Mirror episode. Like hear me out right, tell me Bob isn't just the evil version of a Flumph. He's even got the goatee...

BECMI has an excellent Bob stand-in: the Devil Swine, a Chaotic werepig.

 

[make_it_so]

At some point he learned about Warhammer, decided it was masculine and appealed to Believers and now he's try to bring it down with his pitiful Twitter account. Basically the same thing he does with DC and Batman related media especially. Like when he trashed the Dark Knight Rises because Bane became a 4chan meme.

Yeah, because drones definitely won us Afghanistan. Oh wait...

 

[UserAccess]

I would love for Bob to livestream a d&d show. Just imagine the trainwreck it would be!

His homebrew world would be some MCU style Mushroom Kingdom where Mario is the king and Bowser is the President of the USA. All the evil races are mouth breathing rednecks that contribute nothing to society, while the free thinking ubermensch slaughter them in droves on the daily.

And his DM style would be atrocious, the most "whay I say goes" type of powerhungry asshole who never lets his players have fun. Any time a player acts in a way that Bob finds morally reprehensible they are immediately punished or kicked out of the game.They're there to appreciate his world and he'll be damned if they don't like it.

I love this so much I might write a Bob fanfic about it.

Assuming he can get some people to actually want to play with him. Of course.

"The only way to take a menial, stunted and historically misogynistic, orange fingers with Cheetos dust genre like the juvenile, baby's first pen and paper role playing game interesting is to marry it to the Christofacist, cryptobro post Gamergate living hell universe that put an illegal squatter in the White House when the flyover state mouth breathers decided 'but her emails' was a good enough excuse to draw targets of the backs of everyone that's brave enough to be a woman, person of color, or enjoy anything other than vanilla, republican pleasureless mating.

It's modern day politics with displacer beasts. Hollywood, are you listening? DM me and I'll tell you where to mail the check."

-Bob Chipman, whose vision of creativity is "This, but merged with something stupid."

 

[RockVolnutt]

In 'defence' of Cinematico El Obesito. Most people don't read in todays age. One of my flatmates told me that he hadn't read a single page, of a single book in four years. As someone that finished a book a month - Not good books, trashy pulpy crap - it feels weird to me to hear shit like that. But it seems pretty common.

Yeah, it's honestly tragic where the state of literacy is at in America from what I've seen. Statistics get really bad depending where you look like only 71% of American adults are literate and of that number, 54% of them are below a 6th grade level. The worst part of it is it's mostly US born adults and not foreigners who're having trouble adapting to the English language. Some of it's due to reasonable things like poverty or failure of the education system but a worrying chunk of it's laziness or focus on other things. We're most certainly going to have a crisis about this eventually.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/michae...e-economy-22-trillion-a-year/?sh=3c6c1a134c90

 

[Open Window Maniac]

You know what... I think we've finally found our anti-Bob.

That is a Bob who gained self-awareness and decided to do some self-improvement.

Tell your flatmate that this robot gives him a hearty salute.

@Johan Schmidt's flatmate is the hero this thread deserves.

I worked for six weeks caring for a retard kid once, this kid was barely functional, and sperged out heavily and often. He was 13 and could barely write his own name, but he loved fishing more than anything else in the world; and would tell me these long drawn out fantasies of being a fish king. He had a fish castle in the lake, with fish servants, and they had to fight off snapping turtles, and they ate krill all the time, and there was a whale that would arrive and deliver fishing rods to them so they could better fight the turtles. Bob has less imagination than a 13 year old barely verbal retard. Sad.

NGL, the sounds pretty ballin. Since I'm already an underwater creature, I'd gladly accept that kid as my Fish King. @Koby_Fish, @A Very Big Fish how about you two?

 

[make_it_so]

BECMI has an excellent Bob stand-in: the Devil Swine, a Chaotic werepig.

I thought that was Ethan Ralph.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

@Johan Schmidt's flatmate is the hero this thread deserves.

NGL, the sounds pretty ballin. Since I'm already an underwater creature, I'd gladly accept that kid as my Fish King. @Koby_Fish, @A Very Big Fish how about you two?

You son of a bitch, I'm in.

 

[Shart Attack]

Why is this weird? Because his fantasy is so consistently fucking boooooooooooorrrrriiiiinnnngggg. Go to 4chans /tg/ board and look at the CYOA section. You get people like me who peek in and go 'huh, neat ideas' for a lot of the CYOAs that they make, but it also has hardcore fans that will spend hours working through builds; they fully get into each and every CYOA they work through. Same for the people that spend hours and hours working over D&D builds, or pour weeks and weeks into books. The fantasies that most people on the internet seem to have are swashbukckling, or they're Sci-Fi warlords, or they have a harem of catgirls in their super advanced arcology, or they're a supervillain banging wonderwoman. All of them have these intricate backgrounds, and justifications and whatever. When Bob does that, he's literally just a fat guy, on the moon, playing Mario, but chrome plated. What the fuck? Why? Why are Bobs fantasies so boring?

Bob is a fantasist the same way Elon Musk is a project manager. He just throws random bullshit out into the world and expects other people to do something with it for him. In Musk's case, it's because he actually does have people to make his Hyperloop an underwhelming reality for him. In Bob's case, it's because he's lazy. Taking an idea and writing it out and refining it take time and effort. That's time he could be spending on Twitter.

I'd love to see Bob attempt National Novel Writing Month. All he'd have to do is churn out 2000 words a day of a novel for 30 days in a row. It could be his Care Bears in Paradise Lost abortion idea or a Game Overthinker x Nostalgia Chick slash fic. Could be the most derivative, low-effort trash ever written. NaNoWriMo has no standard for quality. He still couldn't see it through to the end, because a mere 2000 words a day of concentrated creative work would still take too much effort. He'd probably vaguepost about working on "a big new project," lie about finishing it, and never show it to anyone who asked to see it because it was too embarrassing to show them or some such excuse.

Yeah, it's honestly tragic where the state of literacy is at in America from what I've seen. Statistics get really bad depending where you look like only 71% of American adults are literate and of that number, 54% of them are below a 6th grade level. The worst part of it is it's mostly US born adults and not foreigners who're having trouble adapting to the English language. Some of it's due to reasonable things like poverty or failure of the education system but a worrying chunk of it's laziness or focus on other things. We're most certainly going to have a crisis about this eventually.

I always take those numbers with a grain of salt. From what I've read, the US standard for what's considered literate is higher than the most of the rest of the world. I think for a lot of the world, you're considered literate if you can read and write simple sentences. In the US, that only qualifies as "functionally illiterate" or "functionally literate." You're only considered to have true literacy if you can perform more advanced literacy tasks like prose analysis. There are also a couple of demographics that drag the US average down. You'll never guess which ones.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

So is there any dystopian novels or movies that showcases Bob’s superior future?

 

[TheShortWaveCerealKiller]

Why are Bobs fantasies so boring?

Because at his core, Bob isnt fantasizing to feel stronger or to feel above anyone, hes fantasizing because literally anything, no matter how generic and boring, is better than his sad consoomer lifestyle that he leads. His own abyss of escapism he cant let him self out of for fear that he has to one day face one cold inevitable truth, his life is shit.

 

[Positron]

A new national crisis is looming, this one of Apocalyptic significance.

Isn't it nice to have a Democrat Senator who cares?

Two Prime Evils collide.

Vance spoke from family experience: his grandfather suffered severe physical abuse from his spouse, but their relationship improved when JD was born. On the contrary, Bobby's only knowledge of married life came from sitcoms.



Rando blames the obsolescence of Samantha Bee to Warner/Discovery merger.

Samantha Bee looks like she is ready to suck cocks for a living. I wish her every success in her endeavor.

Rent free:

---

I want to see the anthropological evidence that abortion has been a "normal" part of health care too. That methods existed does not mean it was accepted as normal. And I impressed that MOS loves abortion so much: he probably loves abortion more than Lindsay Ellis does.

Faith Naff.


Cancel culture is alive and well in Academia; Amy Wax is a law prof at Penn State U who is hounded by her colleagues for speaking the truth. (Archive of Inside Higher Ed article)


Again I want to see evidence that "racism" -- or rather, to put it in less emotional terms, the observation that different races have different aptitudes -- is "disproved" like flat-earth theory is.

Dave Chappelle claims to be canceled to stay kool.

---

The Farmer Uprising has become global.


CNN gatekeeps Real Christianity from "imposters" (archive)

---

Bobby and co are experts in Satanism because they know Wikipedia.




Slapfight with InfraHaz, and learning politics through video games:






Meanwhile, Elon Musk continues to develop things for the future.

---

Bobby fails to see Holden Caulfield in himself.


Can he see himself as a "dirtbag" then? (Archive of The Atlantic article)


Regardless, he is deep and philosophical.

Faith failed him, so did Hope. I'd say Love won't turn sour; third time's a charm.




What prompted this conclusion was the finding that some plesiosaurs might have lived in freshwater; I don't know what Bobby's gif means.

---

If you read Buzzfeed you'd have believed that Hollywood has never cast a Mexican in a big role before.




The Master and Commander pic is fake, a send-up of you know what. Still it tickles Bobby's fancy.


Rope-fu, using your own son as a flail.


Who needs Harry Potter when Disney can have Eragon?

Is there a low that Disney won't plunge in?



Bobby is very proud of this gif.

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Folks, tell me why and how much Bobby hates Superman. Depends on the lolz I might include it in the new OP.

Bobby seems to think Superman is only for Very Special Episodes, and the VSE we need in 2022 is ACAB.


Arguments about box office.

---

D&D Movie:



The article in question is from Gawker. I'm shocked they still survive.

Meatball Machine.

The trailer is very gory, with rains of blood and flesh chunks.

 

[Bolo]

So is there any dystopian novels or movies that showcases Bob’s superior future?

Not a big fan of dystopain stories, but besides the usual classics, like Brave New World that it is all about doing nothing but engage in hedoism and having you life the thumb of a system that does nothing but to make sure that the people are forever confortable and numb, so you know, the aspect of a nanny state that liberals want so much.

Also there is a novel called "Rash" by Pete Hautman, when the populous grew to be so easly offended and outraged by anything outside the safety of the group think, where the state is so paranoid about anything being harmfull that outlawed any actions that would be unsafe that the main charatcer is sent to prison because he was accused to spread a rash on his school. Can't really recomend this one, it gets weird and laggy later in book and then there is stuff with AI and football, doesn't gel all that well.

But if you wanna know how Robert's idea for the future would go down, don't look for dystopia, look for the simpsons:

The name of the episode is "They saved Lisa's brain" on the last few good seasons of the show, and it is about the most inteligent people in Springfield coming to power after the Mayor skipped town.

And this group was pretty much Lisa's group, self-satisfied and self-rigthous libs that felt like they lived under the opression of the dumb plebs and if only they could have their way, utopia would be achieved.

At first the new goverment does well with some clever solutions to everyday problems, but soon enough problems arise, turns out people who think they know better than anybody else get megalomaniacal with power and rule in a way that is completely disconnected with the populations as they rule out anything they perceive as being anti-intelectual in a selfish way, just to end up with a internal conflict resulting in a childish dick measuring bickering to see who is smarter than who.

It was one of the rare good Lisa episodes, where she acts as the voice of reasons within the group and shows that it ain't up to the goverment to interfere on how people want to lead their lives, and everybody has a diferent idea of how hey want their world to be.