- Joined
- Aug 13, 2016
If you need to tell people you're better than someone, you're probably not.
Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic
- Thread starter Enriku
- Start date
- Status
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2015
Less than an hour ago, he said being white was a social construct.
In what world are Geek.com and ScreenRant "two of the biggest media companies on the web"?
His delusions know no bounds.
...And neither does his pettiness.
In what world are Geek.com and ScreenRant "two of the biggest media companies on the web"?
His delusions know no bounds.
...And neither does his pettiness.
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2017
"Doesn't matter"
Bob, I'm 99% certain Saint Anita could have appeared on tape devouring the soul of a newborn and you'd say it's not important.
That's the funny thing about saying something doesn't matter. It's all relative, in the end.
Bob, I'm 99% certain Saint Anita could have appeared on tape devouring the soul of a newborn and you'd say it's not important.
That's the funny thing about saying something doesn't matter. It's all relative, in the end.
Lensherr
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 15, 2016
So is he trying to say that we can’t hold certain beliefs and have fun in the “wrong” way because it will lead to the creation of another Hitler? If so, he’s a sheep who’s bought hook, line, and sinker into the current moral panic (which is especially ironic considering his talk about “brownshirts” following Hitler blindly).
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2016
- Highlight
- #17,465
Apparently a woman wanting to have anything to do with him set off his bullshit alarm....And neither does his pettiness.
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2017
In what world are Geek.com and ScreenRant "two of the biggest media companies on the web"?
His delusions know no bounds.
View attachment 334201
RT is far more recognized than any of those two. Gonna love the lack of self awareness of the fat fuck.
The sole reason why he hasn't been shamed in public is because the son of a bitch has been lucky to avoid Karma.
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2017
So smart that you were a complict from a sexual assault from one of those "decent' people you rag about.
https://www.oneangrygamer.net/2016/...covering-up-devin-faracis-sexual-abuse/14050/
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2013
What's he need those gauntlets for? To complete his Superior Future SS Mario outfit?
Hiragana
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2017
Cosplaying as Jim Motherfucking Sterling Son maybe.
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2013
or Thanos for his eventually 40 hour Infinity War """review""". Just glue some rocks to it as part of a skit.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Is Hitler the only bad person these faggots can name or something?
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2015
Well, you can’t say Stalin or Mao were bad because they were communist and my luxury gay space communism crowd will cry.
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2015
- Highlight
- #17,473
Sure you did, Bob. Sure you did.
It's always weird whenever he talks to someone way more successful than him.
Wow, what a well-reasoned and totally not shallow argument for a monopoly.
Quote-tweeting: The coward's way out of an argument.
It's always weird whenever he talks to someone way more successful than him.
Wow, what a well-reasoned and totally not shallow argument for a monopoly.
Quote-tweeting: The coward's way out of an argument.
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2014
Why is Bobby so insistent on pro choice? He has next to zero chance of impregnating someone.
And no, he is not emotionally stunned "somewhere around 12". Try 8.
And no, he is not emotionally stunned "somewhere around 12". Try 8.
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
So in his superior future, no one can abort his children.
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2017
I'll say this for Bob. He must have some unguessed-at source of energy to write that ceaseless flow of garbage. Just reading his tweets is exhausting; I can't imagine what it must be like to create that sewage on an almost constant basis.
For Bob an "abortion" equals wiping off his belly folds with a Kleenex after spanking it to God-knows-what filthy pornography.
For Bob an "abortion" equals wiping off his belly folds with a Kleenex after spanking it to God-knows-what filthy pornography.
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
Futanari lolicon guro netorare.
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2017
- Highlight
- #17,478
It's quite obvious to me: He has nothing else to do with his day and energy.
It's very easy to have protracted arguments on Twitter when you're not trying to accomplish anything in your life or take care of any responsibilities, because if you do, then you won't even have time to use Twitter this much, much less risk losing your reputation for it.
Well, we have been teasing it for a while now and barely keeping our mouths shut, but the new OP is finally ready:
(Long-ass post, so be patient with the spoiler button)
I) Introduction
"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool"
- William Shakespeare.
This is one of my favorite threads here, and while the initial OP was somewhat serviceable as an opener, the ever-growing nature of Bob's insane rambling, and the corresponding growth of this thread necessitates a more rigorous OP that immediately gets people up to speed on our benevolent fatso and his superior future.
So who exactly is Bob "Moviebob" Chipman?
This picture says a thousand words about dear old Moviebob.
Bob is the absolute embodiment of the stereotypical fat white manchild nerd living in his parent's basement, a real-life Comicbook Guy (right down to the sanctimonious and arrogant attitude about pop-culture) who styles himself as a "journalist" & cultural critic with a focus on video game & film criticism, and is predictably shitty at both of those jobs, or "Jerbs" as he frequently likes to quip whenever discussing politics, but more on that later..
His primary means of spreading his views are his YouTube channel, his blogs (1, 2, 3) and his Twitter account. Additionally, his work has appeared on multiple outlets including Screenrant, Screwattack, Birth.Movies.Death, Geek.com, and most notably, The Escapist. Of course, he is one of the hipster welfare crew, and has a Patreon to his name as well.
Moviebob exhibits some interesting cognitive dissonance about his appearance, cultural significance, and the importance and validity of his opinions. Which leads him to act out in many hypocritical & hilarious ways..
One of which is creating a video in which he tries to educate "Gamers" on what they're doing wrong in life, and unintentionally describing his own flaws in the process (Try not to focus too much on the triple chin):
He tells his viewers to go work out and not spend too much time on games with a completely straight face, while looking the way he does and spending his life on the very same things he chastises them for (He's only gotten fatter since then, and even went full Type-2 Diabetes).
This video also shows one of his major faults as a content creator: He is the biggest living enemy of brevity (More on that later too).. It takes him 2 minutes to get to the point of the video, a video that itself takes a whole 20 minutes to tell people to shape up and get out for a bit.
II) Will The Real Mario Please Stand Up?
"Finally… I felt like it should be a game I was already intimately
familiar with. A game I could not just approach, but return to in the writing.
Aside from (likely) making the project that much less diffcult, it would be
appropriate to the intended tone. Not just some dry, academic deconstruction
but an involved, emotive journey. I should be a game I loved."
― A typo that says a thousand words. From Bob's SMB3 book [Pg. 12] (Emphasis mine)
Bob, realizing his dreams to be Mario on some Halloween night (And possibly fapping after).
On July 1st 2013, Bob published a book on his favorite game of all-time, entitled "Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick by Brick", the basic idea of the book is to try dissecting a video game in a similar manner to film criticism, poring over every detail and every frame, which in fairness isn't a bad idea, but the choice of game, Bob's planet-sized ego, his lack of brevity and the abysmal lack of focus really make this book difficult to get through..
The book itself consists of 3 parts:
stupid idiotic autistic brave enough to excavate the depths of this book of autism, and returned alive and somewhat well to deliver the details. Bob makes several lulzy statements and confessions in this book. Both about his life, vidya and his obsession special relationship with Mario:
Don't you fucking dare misgender the Goombas, shitlord!
One aspect that is quite striking to me is how he dealt with his grandmother's illness and eventual passing, he keeps electing to play SMB3 instead of focusing on supporting his family through their ordeal, and when she dies, he barely attends the funeral, instead he goes out to buy an air conditioner and doubles down on the gaming [pg. 194].
His love-boner for the Marvel movies also sees its genesis in the book, with him mentioning that he watched the Avengers film FIVE. TIMES. [pg. 118]
Also, Mario is/was clearly Bob's Sonichu. He keeps adding those elaborate fantasies about how the plot & world of Mario keeps growing between its iterations, to the point of describing SMB3's plot with his trademark delusion and lack of brevity:
“War & Peace” it isn’t, but just-the-basics storylines were par for the
course in this era of gaming. Even still, it provides a bigger picture of the
Mario universe than had previously been established: this is the frst mention
that the Mushroom Kingdom is only one part of a larger world, primarily, but
it also establishes that the starting point this time around has not quite settled
into the “Peach always gets kidnapped” groove it would in subsequent games
– while the Princess does indeed wind up abducted at the beginning of World
8, the main story of the game has her in the role of commander, dispatching
the Mario Bros. to the Seven Kingdoms to deal with Bowser’s assault.
In fact, given that both sides of the conflict are delegating the war-fghting
to subordinates this time around, SMB3 marks the frst clear delineation of the
Troopa/Mushroom conflict as a long-term military conflict rather than mere
isolated attacks by Bowser. Left unmentioned in the written story but implicit
in the game itself is that Bowser has amassed a mechanized military force
for this particular engagement, outftting his children with heavily-armed
Airships and protecting his own Kingdom with tanks, jets, and battleships."
― Bob Chipman, channeling his inner CWC [pg. 67].
- Go Mario, Jump TO THE EXTREME!
-I will, Thank a-you, mein fuhrer.
III) YouTube: A New Outlet For Old Autism
“It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
“Writing is 1 percent inspiration, and 99 percent elimination.”
― Louise Brooks
“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.”
― George Burns
Bob Chipman (Left), 'acting' in one of his skits, you get my props if you guess what he's missing by the end of this post.
In his book, Moviebob touches on the beginnings of his career as a YouTuber, before which he was working dead-end retail in places like Blockbuster Video & Best Buy.
After some time, he used Yahtzee & AVGN's videos as inspiration to begin making his Game OverThinker videos and uploading them to YouTube, eventually he was noticed by ScrewAttack, and was then later picked up by The Escapist, where he arguably had his career high as their resident movie critic, but his stint there is a topic we'll touch on later in a grand way.
So, how good are Moviebob's videos? Not very.
If I had to characterize Bob's videos, I'd say that the #1 downside in them (And all his other works, really) is the lack of brevity. He autistically spergs on and on and on about whatever thought comes to mind. Usually about how his favorite movies (Which is currently Marvel movies, of course) are the best thing evar!
Bob also LOVES to play dress-up and make up characters & skits for his shows, TGWTG-style. He has many characters, who are all fat (Because he plays them all) and only differ by their attire of choice. Sadly, his GameOverthinker series is currently finished, although he has mentioned the possibility of that series returning in his Patreon page, so there's still hope for whoever wants to see a fat man in a trenchcoat fighting mystical ninjas, among other low-budget adventures.
Add to that his love of editing out his breath breaks and shortening his speech, and you get the closest thing to factory-distilled autism.
No, really, you feel more braindead, autistic and exceptional for every additional second you can endure watching his videos. Don't believe me? Watch his Pixels review and tell me if you can take 10 minutes of Bob revenge rating an admittedly bad movie, simply because Adam Sandler made fun of his favorite retro games (unironic references to fat consumers included, of course):
Another example lies in his current video series (2 parts and ongoing at the time of writing) about Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, a then-1-year-old movie whose extended cut goes up to ~3 hours, credits included.
Well, Moviebob thinks it's a grand idea to sperg about a year-old movie for a total combined length of ~3 hours (and rising! remember, he isn't finished yet). I think that when your criticism videos equal or exceed the actual length of the film, then you need more editing, but that's just me.
Also if you didn't notice it yet, Moviebob is a SJW, so his videos frequently include the usual bingo words: POCs? Check. Feminism? Check. ..etc. For example: He thinks that Link should be made female:
(Now with %2000 more SJWism)
In fact, Moviebob is so deeply entrenched in SJWism, he is one of the few spergs whose life quality suffered for Saints Anita & Zoe in the great autism wars of 2014, otherwise known as GamerGate.
IV) GamerGate: How Bob Fought Autism, and Lost (Badly).
"After all the #GamerGate nonsense, a lot of journalists revealed their true selves. He didn't. He was always the sperg king of the film journalism community." - @Enriku, aptly summarizing Bob's behavior during GG.
As previously established, by 2012~2013, Moviebob has fully transitioned to being a complete and unabashed SJW lemming sheep, and nothing highlights how exceptionally far he was willing to go for his newfangled ideals than the Holy War of Autism itself: GamerGate.
Bob's true colors revealed in a few tweets.
Back then, Bob was The Escapist's resident movie critic for some time, starting as a contributor in 2007~2008, and producing videos and articles for them, which after a long struggle in dead-end data-entry and retail jobs, was basically his life's dream made into reality.
It's worth pointing out that originally, Bob was vehemently against vidya censorship, and made multiple blogposts blasting the then-vidya boogieman, Jack Thompson, even slagging off his current-day YAASS QUEEN for her support of Jack's calls to censor his precious vidya:
But in August 2014, the Zoe Post hit the information superhighway, and with it began the uprising of the internet's then-decentralized autists into a consumer movement demanding higher standards of ethics in covering vidya, and an opposing movement, led by nearly all established gaming journalism outlets, that was equally autistic, thus much sperging began to fill the cyberspace, and things quickly became very-Dubya, basically boiling down to "Either you're with us or against us", which created a clear divide between outlets that were pro-GG & those that were anti-GG.
However, The Escapist, seeing an opportunity to engage a new audience and keep their current one intact, decided to go a different route: They would allow both pro-GG and anti-GG discourse to be aired simultaneously on their site and forums with no censorship from them, even planning a series around it and booking pro-GG voices, of course, such an approach that doesn't completely demonize those satanic GGers pissed off spergs like Moviebob and Jim Sterling, the latter infamously resigning while shrieking that The Escapist have "Given a platform to mad men".
Bob on the other hand, was easily the most toxic and aggressive about censoring GGers, to the point where he was repeatedly trying to get GG discussions on the site shut down. He continued to sperg out of control, viewing any attempt to calm his man-tits as allowing the filthy Gamer menace leeway, and in true Chipman fashion, he grew increasingly unhinged over time, gradually mutating from simply sperging about GG to blaming gamers as a whole for how toxic and evil video gaming had become, most hilariously imploring "dem gamers" to consider what fucking Mario and Link would think of them for their treatment of Saints Zoe & Anita:
If you do what Chris-Chan does, you get what Chris-Chan gets.
Eventually, The Escapist's management told him to knock it the fuck off, since this shit was pissing off their userbase - the site's customers , and due to pro-GG supporters siccing the FTC on gaming news outlets' violations around the time they changed their disclosure guidelines, they simply couldn't afford any further Autism from Moviebob.
Sadly, Autism is exactly what they got. Bob would not relent, and The Escapist eventually fired his fat ass in 13th February 2015.
Before and after his departure from The Escapist, Bob was a great example of an Anti-GG nutjob, simultaneously arguing that GG supporters were fair game to dox and destroy the livelihoods of while declaring professional victims like Quinn and friends sacrosanct and immune to criticism because harassment.
It's frankly fascinating how someone as insanely knee-jerk hateful towards Jack Thompson would gleefully worship someone like Anita Sarkeesian, and the levels of self-delusion he engages in to deny that he in any way is logically inconsistent is breathtaking. He even went to the effort of retconning his well-documented opinions on Jack Thompson (See above) so he can justify defending Anita Sarkeesian, the mental gymnastics displayed here are quite astounding:
Bob showing how much he respects the women by changing his opinions for them, all fedora-like.
Bob's departure from The Escapist began the slow decline of his relevance, as he went from having a massive audience to having virtually none; Bob ain't no Jim Sterling. He even tried going back to ScrewAttack, but was quickly BTFO when he wouldn't stop sperging about GamerGate, even forcing his new/old employers to add a disclaimer:
Despite Bob maintaining many connections to the same circle of friends, his loss of influence brought with it a corresponding loss of views and lack of a useful platform; the bulk of his one-time allies have henceforth forgotten he existed as he moved on to sperging about Drumpf and evil centrist Democrats.
Speaking of which, I mentioned above how anti-Hillary he was back in 2008, but what I didn't mention was how much hatred he held for her, and how prophetic he would prove to be while espousing that dislike:
Also, he has shown himself to be quite the gentleman, admitting to being a silent observer to rumors of fellow neckbeard, Devin Faraci's sexual abuse of women.
Also, there is this little nugget:
Professed Atheist? Check.
Fat? Check.
"Respects Women"? Check.
What's missing? Oh, yeah:
Fedora? Fucking Check.
V) Die überlegene Zukunft von MovieBob
"A revolution is not a trail of roses. A revolution is a fight to the death between the future and the past" ― Fidel Castro
Now we get to the part that makes Moviebob such a unique lolcow, because let's face it, there's entire collectives dedicated to making shitty pop-culture videos such as TGWTG/Channel Awesome, Andrew Dobson has pretty much cornered the "Fat lonely man screeching on Twitter" market, there are spergs who are obsessed with Mario and other vidya characters in similar ways, and I'm sure that there's many other SJW cows who also chimped out during Gamergate and suffered collateral damage.
The thing is, I am not sure that we have any other cows who did all that AND planned a SUPERIOR FUTURE for us all!
Yes, while nearly all SJW keyboard warriors are quickly found to be oppressive assholes if you read between enough lines, Moviebob fucking spells it out for you, he is possibly humanity's 1st ever basement-made dictator.
You see, Bob believes that a Superior Future is dawning upon us, and it had been held back for too long by those obsolete blue-collar white conservatives who make Jerbs their primary voting driver and stand in the way of true progress for all stunning brave womyn, POCs and LGBT people, who totally deserve all of your money and attention btw. He frequently cites mechanization and overpopulation as factors that will ease in the new and improved future, where physical strength and toxic masculinity is no longer the defining factor of success..
He also sees no need to pander to those obsolete humans by giving them the privilege of voting, because that diminishes the voting power of the enlightened, but marginalized elites, like himself of course, because we all know that humanity needs more Superhero film reviews and clickbait articles than it needs actual farmers or factory workers..
But things completely changed in the lead-up to the 2012 Presidential elections, Bob initially was somewhat suspicious and doubting of Obama, even wondering in 2008 what George Carlin would think of "Barack Obama's bullshit-dripping idealistic self-help stump speeches". This quickly changed when Bin Laden was killed in 2011 under Obama's leadership, Shortly after that, the 1st mention of a Superior Future that was held back by George W. Bush Jr. was made in January 2012, this eventually graduated to long ass rants about how Obama needs to beat Romney to ensure that the superior future beats the obsolete past, or something.. Case in point: Check out this hilarious blogpost linking The Avengers to Obama, and The Dark Knight Rises to Romney.
He even wrote his own Mein Kampf, which in typical Bob fashion is incredibly byzantine, contradictory, and takes 10 paragraphs to explain what is essentially 2-3 ideas.
Of course Obama won as we all know, and predictably, Bob published a truly cringe-worthy blogpost about how the future has comprehensively beat the past forever and ever, concluding with "But, still, little by little we are improving. With each battle won over the forces of "tradition," anachronism and superstition; persons of open-mind get one step closer to building the Superior America that we both need and - to be frank - deserve for the 21st Century.". By now in Bob's mind, the Supreme Future has all the pieces set in place, but 4 years later, an orange-colored spanner was thrown in the works..
Fast-forward to 2016, with his "no bad targets" mentality firmly in place, Bob has been highly emboldened and hardened from what is now years of sperg kombat in the name of Saints Anita & Zoe.. But all will be good, the Superior Future will be at hand, and all blue-collar jobs will be mechanized by YAAS QUEEN herself, whose imminent arrival to the Oval Office will definitely feed us fucking moon wheat you backwards bastards!
A photograph of the 1st moon wheat farmer.
But the rise of the Emperor dashed those hopes completely.. Trump won, and much, much salt was had, starting with this salty video Bob made while wearing a Star Wars T-shirt, totally appropriate for the occasion of course:
Oh, what's that you say? You want more salt? Why yes of course, you can have some more salt:
Needless to say, Bob's salty Twitter rants about all things Trump continue to whatever point in time you're gonna be reading this.
I'm really being honest here, I'm truly unsure if he'll stop ranting after Trump's presidency ends!
VI) Conclusion
"Egotism is the anesthetic which nature gives us to deaden the pain of being a fool." ― Dr. Herbert Shofield
Bob's father knew little of the sheer autism that would be unleashed by letting his son play this game
A lot of this post has been about thoroughly documenting and summarizing what has been a decade of Bob's autism, hubris and stupidity without resorting to cheap shots, now it's time for me to state some final obervations on what kind of person I found Bob to be while researching him.
Bob is oddly comfortable in his current role in life, to the point where he nonchalantly refers to his place as his "Basement Apartment", and somehow has deluded himself to feel that his very, very disposable occupation as a pop-culture critic is not only immune to societal changes (despite getting fired twice), but superior enough to allow him to openly disparage people that despite their flaws, are far more contributing to society than he ever will be, and even call for eugenic and dictator-like practices to forcibly remove them from steering wheel of society in favor of his coastal blue-checkmark butt buddies. And if you face him with facts he will simply call you a Nazi, friendo.
Also, Bob loves to let us know how much of an independent thinker he is, however, he really is just a lemming who goes with whatever the cool contrarian kids say. He frequently talks about how he has eschewed ideology for Machiavellian goals, but he also frequently bends over backwards to support his current Cultural Marxist overlords despite it not being in his best interests. Also, like any other would-be dictator, He doesn't like it when you criticize him.
Matter of fact, by now, I'm really fucking tired of documenting and commentating on Bob's unique brand of autism, so let's make a game of it: Here's a random number generator, just plug in the latest page number, and generate an in-between number you like, I guarantee you that when you visit the corresponding page, you will find something exceptional to laugh at. It almost never fails.
Don't believe me? Allow me to demonstrate:
Page 371: Bob tells us that we can't save "Trump Country" because those inferior humans are jealous of the evolved ones.
Page 458: Bob feels no remorse about Zack Snyder's daughter's suicide, because he directed a movie he doesn't like.
Page 676: Bob's spergs about DACA, and invokes Godwin's Law at the same time.
You should try it, it's a fun game.
In conclusion, Bob is the supreme commandant führer of spergs, who has nothing superior about him (Not just my opinion), and whose autism intersects with a number of lolcow classifications that's just short of OPL himself. But I have faith that science will somehow prevail and be able to find his exact mental illness(es) just yet. Though I wouldn't count on a cure happening in my lifetime.
But while we wait for science to do its thing, I believe I speak on behalf of Dear Leader and all Kiwis of the past, present and future when I give Bob this highly illustrious (and fitting!) seal that he has well and truly earned with the sweat of his moobs:
"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool"
- William Shakespeare.
This is one of my favorite threads here, and while the initial OP was somewhat serviceable as an opener, the ever-growing nature of Bob's insane rambling, and the corresponding growth of this thread necessitates a more rigorous OP that immediately gets people up to speed on our benevolent fatso and his superior future.
So who exactly is Bob "Moviebob" Chipman?
This picture says a thousand words about dear old Moviebob.
Bob is the absolute embodiment of the stereotypical fat white manchild nerd living in his parent's basement, a real-life Comicbook Guy (right down to the sanctimonious and arrogant attitude about pop-culture) who styles himself as a "journalist" & cultural critic with a focus on video game & film criticism, and is predictably shitty at both of those jobs, or "Jerbs" as he frequently likes to quip whenever discussing politics, but more on that later..
His primary means of spreading his views are his YouTube channel, his blogs (1, 2, 3) and his Twitter account. Additionally, his work has appeared on multiple outlets including Screenrant, Screwattack, Birth.Movies.Death, Geek.com, and most notably, The Escapist. Of course, he is one of the hipster welfare crew, and has a Patreon to his name as well.
Moviebob exhibits some interesting cognitive dissonance about his appearance, cultural significance, and the importance and validity of his opinions. Which leads him to act out in many hypocritical & hilarious ways..
One of which is creating a video in which he tries to educate "Gamers" on what they're doing wrong in life, and unintentionally describing his own flaws in the process (Try not to focus too much on the triple chin):
This video also shows one of his major faults as a content creator: He is the biggest living enemy of brevity (More on that later too).. It takes him 2 minutes to get to the point of the video, a video that itself takes a whole 20 minutes to tell people to shape up and get out for a bit.
II) Will The Real Mario Please Stand Up?
"Finally… I felt like it should be a game I was already intimately
familiar with. A game I could not just approach, but return to in the writing.
Aside from (likely) making the project that much less diffcult, it would be
appropriate to the intended tone. Not just some dry, academic deconstruction
but an involved, emotive journey. I should be a game I loved."
― A typo that says a thousand words. From Bob's SMB3 book [Pg. 12] (Emphasis mine)
Bob, realizing his dreams to be Mario on some Halloween night (And possibly fapping after).
On July 1st 2013, Bob published a book on his favorite game of all-time, entitled "Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick by Brick", the basic idea of the book is to try dissecting a video game in a similar manner to film criticism, poring over every detail and every frame, which in fairness isn't a bad idea, but the choice of game, Bob's planet-sized ego, his lack of brevity and the abysmal lack of focus really make this book difficult to get through..
The book itself consists of 3 parts:
- An introduction on the origins & history of Mario, Miyamoto..etc.
- A massive, and I mean massive powerleveling part, in which he describes his life and his imaginary relationship to Mario.
- A Let's Play of Mario 3, done in text form (yes, really). With some more powerlevelling too.
- He includes Shigeru Miyamoto in the dedications, "For saving my life more times than he knows".
- He identifies with Mario because they were both "born in the same year" and he can't remember a world without him [pg. 26].
- He compares the 90's console wars to the Vietnam war. [pg. 41]
- He carried a SMB2 Mario figurine as a good-luck charm through grade school. [pg. 30]
- He forced himself to like the 1993 Mario film as he "needed it to be good" because "Mario is my friend". [pg. 40]
- Had problems at school, to the point that his parents got a recommendation to put him on Ritalin & some other drugs, which they refused. and received intermittent therapy for anger, attention and authority issues. [pg. 31]
- Compares the significance of him seeing the 1st known footage of SMB3 (in The Wizard film) to that of the JFK assassination and 9/11. [pg. 33]
- Says that Yoshi's Island "broke his brain" because its ending revealed/retconned that Mario & Luigi grew up in the Mushroom Kingdom, and not Brooklyn. This happened while he was a fucking high school senior. [pgs. 42-44]
- His 1st film criticism gig was moonlighting for a local cable access show, from which he was later fired for not going along with the fundie show owner's opinions on Passion of The Christ, his termination meeting was in the show owner's van in a parking lot, in which he feared for his life because the owner did freelance security work, and was "on the job", or so he claims. [pgs. 49-50]
- Admits to spending multiple hours in his car playing on his Nintendo GBA/DS, waiting for his whole family to go to sleep before he returned home. He claims that this was because he wanted to access the computer in peace and make videos (Yeah, right). [pgs. 51-52]
- That he moved out of his parents' house at the young, young age of 31 (July 1st 2012, to be exact) [pg. 207].
He moved back into his "Basement Apartment" by Dec 2014.
Don't you fucking dare misgender the Goombas, shitlord!
One aspect that is quite striking to me is how he dealt with his grandmother's illness and eventual passing, he keeps electing to play SMB3 instead of focusing on supporting his family through their ordeal, and when she dies, he barely attends the funeral, instead he goes out to buy an air conditioner and doubles down on the gaming [pg. 194].
His love-boner for the Marvel movies also sees its genesis in the book, with him mentioning that he watched the Avengers film FIVE. TIMES. [pg. 118]
Also, Mario is/was clearly Bob's Sonichu. He keeps adding those elaborate fantasies about how the plot & world of Mario keeps growing between its iterations, to the point of describing SMB3's plot with his trademark delusion and lack of brevity:
“War & Peace” it isn’t, but just-the-basics storylines were par for the
course in this era of gaming. Even still, it provides a bigger picture of the
Mario universe than had previously been established: this is the frst mention
that the Mushroom Kingdom is only one part of a larger world, primarily, but
it also establishes that the starting point this time around has not quite settled
into the “Peach always gets kidnapped” groove it would in subsequent games
– while the Princess does indeed wind up abducted at the beginning of World
8, the main story of the game has her in the role of commander, dispatching
the Mario Bros. to the Seven Kingdoms to deal with Bowser’s assault.
In fact, given that both sides of the conflict are delegating the war-fghting
to subordinates this time around, SMB3 marks the frst clear delineation of the
Troopa/Mushroom conflict as a long-term military conflict rather than mere
isolated attacks by Bowser. Left unmentioned in the written story but implicit
in the game itself is that Bowser has amassed a mechanized military force
for this particular engagement, outftting his children with heavily-armed
Airships and protecting his own Kingdom with tanks, jets, and battleships."
― Bob Chipman, channeling his inner CWC [pg. 67].
- Go Mario, Jump TO THE EXTREME!
-I will, Thank a-you, mein fuhrer.
Book-Related Links:
The book itself:
Torrent [The Pirate Bay]
GoodReads page
Reviews:
[Rexxion] The Disappointment of Moviebob's Book SMB3: Brick By Brick
[Jim Into Mystery] Book Review: Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick By Brick by Bob Chipman
[Play4Real] Book Report: Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick by Brick
ForumRoastings Discussions: <HIGHLY RECOMMENDED>
[Project A.F.T.E.R] Super Mario Brick By Brick, "My own personal Vietnam" ~ Bob Chipman
[CWC.ki Club] Super Mario Bros 3: Brick by Brick - MovieBob
Shills:
[The Mary Sue] Review: Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick by Brick Reminds Me of Why I Love Video Games
The book itself:
Torrent [The Pirate Bay]
GoodReads page
Reviews:
[Rexxion] The Disappointment of Moviebob's Book SMB3: Brick By Brick
[Jim Into Mystery] Book Review: Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick By Brick by Bob Chipman
[Play4Real] Book Report: Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick by Brick
Forum
[Project A.F.T.E.R] Super Mario Brick By Brick, "My own personal Vietnam" ~ Bob Chipman
[CWC.ki Club] Super Mario Bros 3: Brick by Brick - MovieBob
Shills:
[The Mary Sue] Review: Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick by Brick Reminds Me of Why I Love Video Games
III) YouTube: A New Outlet For Old Autism
“It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
“Writing is 1 percent inspiration, and 99 percent elimination.”
― Louise Brooks
“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.”
― George Burns
Bob Chipman (Left), 'acting' in one of his skits, you get my props if you guess what he's missing by the end of this post.
In his book, Moviebob touches on the beginnings of his career as a YouTuber, before which he was working dead-end retail in places like Blockbuster Video & Best Buy.
After some time, he used Yahtzee & AVGN's videos as inspiration to begin making his Game OverThinker videos and uploading them to YouTube, eventually he was noticed by ScrewAttack, and was then later picked up by The Escapist, where he arguably had his career high as their resident movie critic, but his stint there is a topic we'll touch on later in a grand way.
So, how good are Moviebob's videos? Not very.
Bob also LOVES to play dress-up and make up characters & skits for his shows, TGWTG-style. He has many characters, who are all fat (Because he plays them all) and only differ by their attire of choice. Sadly, his GameOverthinker series is currently finished, although he has mentioned the possibility of that series returning in his Patreon page, so there's still hope for whoever wants to see a fat man in a trenchcoat fighting mystical ninjas, among other low-budget adventures.
Add to that his love of editing out his breath breaks and shortening his speech, and you get the closest thing to factory-distilled autism.
No, really, you feel more braindead, autistic and exceptional for every additional second you can endure watching his videos. Don't believe me? Watch his Pixels review and tell me if you can take 10 minutes of Bob revenge rating an admittedly bad movie, simply because Adam Sandler made fun of his favorite retro games (unironic references to fat consumers included, of course):
Also if you didn't notice it yet, Moviebob is a SJW, so his videos frequently include the usual bingo words: POCs? Check. Feminism? Check. ..etc. For example: He thinks that Link should be made female:
IV) GamerGate: How Bob Fought Autism, and Lost (Badly).
"After all the #GamerGate nonsense, a lot of journalists revealed their true selves. He didn't. He was always the sperg king of the film journalism community." - @Enriku, aptly summarizing Bob's behavior during GG.
As previously established, by 2012~2013, Moviebob has fully transitioned to being a complete and unabashed SJW lemming sheep, and nothing highlights how exceptionally far he was willing to go for his newfangled ideals than the Holy War of Autism itself: GamerGate.
Bob's true colors revealed in a few tweets.
Back then, Bob was The Escapist's resident movie critic for some time, starting as a contributor in 2007~2008, and producing videos and articles for them, which after a long struggle in dead-end data-entry and retail jobs, was basically his life's dream made into reality.
It's worth pointing out that originally, Bob was vehemently against vidya censorship, and made multiple blogposts blasting the then-vidya boogieman, Jack Thompson, even slagging off his current-day YAASS QUEEN for her support of Jack's calls to censor his precious vidya:
"..Yes, once again so far as the media is concerned the fact that the shooter at one point played a gun-related video game ("Counterstrike," this time) loosely translates to "case closed." Jack Thompson has already done his news rounds, expect to hear from Joseph Lieberman, Tipper Gore, Hillary Clinton and maybe L. Brent Bozell and Lynne Cheney if we're "lucky." This is, of course, also an election issue because one of the three likely presidential candidates, one Barack Obama, happens to be the Jr. Senator from Illinios.
Lemme spoil the beginning of Act III for ya: You're probably going to hear about the need to "clamp down" on media/gaming violence from the candidates. Almost-certainly from John McCain, partly because it's an issue he's been on the "pro" side of before but more likely because Joe Lieberman is his Robin (Jason Todd version.) Of course, what John McCain thinks on the matter means precisely bupkiss because he's a Republican and - whatever their other MYRIAD flaws might be - at the end of the day the Republican Party's default-setting on corporate regulation is to be against it. Republicans grouse and grandstand about it, but at the end of the day it's Democrats - whatever their other MYRIAD positives might be - tend to be the ones who pull the trigger when it comes to federally "encouraged" censorship/regulation. And everybody already knows where Hillary Clinton stands on the matter - NEXT TO Tipper "Parental Advisory Warning" Gore."
https://moviebob.blogspot.com/2008/02/familiar-territory.html
http://archive.is/DGBIl
Lemme spoil the beginning of Act III for ya: You're probably going to hear about the need to "clamp down" on media/gaming violence from the candidates. Almost-certainly from John McCain, partly because it's an issue he's been on the "pro" side of before but more likely because Joe Lieberman is his Robin (Jason Todd version.) Of course, what John McCain thinks on the matter means precisely bupkiss because he's a Republican and - whatever their other MYRIAD flaws might be - at the end of the day the Republican Party's default-setting on corporate regulation is to be against it. Republicans grouse and grandstand about it, but at the end of the day it's Democrats - whatever their other MYRIAD positives might be - tend to be the ones who pull the trigger when it comes to federally "encouraged" censorship/regulation. And everybody already knows where Hillary Clinton stands on the matter - NEXT TO Tipper "Parental Advisory Warning" Gore."
https://moviebob.blogspot.com/2008/02/familiar-territory.html
http://archive.is/DGBIl
But in August 2014, the Zoe Post hit the information superhighway, and with it began the uprising of the internet's then-decentralized autists into a consumer movement demanding higher standards of ethics in covering vidya, and an opposing movement, led by nearly all established gaming journalism outlets, that was equally autistic, thus much sperging began to fill the cyberspace, and things quickly became very-Dubya, basically boiling down to "Either you're with us or against us", which created a clear divide between outlets that were pro-GG & those that were anti-GG.
However, The Escapist, seeing an opportunity to engage a new audience and keep their current one intact, decided to go a different route: They would allow both pro-GG and anti-GG discourse to be aired simultaneously on their site and forums with no censorship from them, even planning a series around it and booking pro-GG voices, of course, such an approach that doesn't completely demonize those satanic GGers pissed off spergs like Moviebob and Jim Sterling, the latter infamously resigning while shrieking that The Escapist have "Given a platform to mad men".
Bob on the other hand, was easily the most toxic and aggressive about censoring GGers, to the point where he was repeatedly trying to get GG discussions on the site shut down. He continued to sperg out of control, viewing any attempt to calm his man-tits as allowing the filthy Gamer menace leeway, and in true Chipman fashion, he grew increasingly unhinged over time, gradually mutating from simply sperging about GG to blaming gamers as a whole for how toxic and evil video gaming had become, most hilariously imploring "dem gamers" to consider what fucking Mario and Link would think of them for their treatment of Saints Zoe & Anita:
If you do what Chris-Chan does, you get what Chris-Chan gets.
Sadly, Autism is exactly what they got. Bob would not relent, and The Escapist eventually fired his fat ass in 13th February 2015.
Before and after his departure from The Escapist, Bob was a great example of an Anti-GG nutjob, simultaneously arguing that GG supporters were fair game to dox and destroy the livelihoods of while declaring professional victims like Quinn and friends sacrosanct and immune to criticism because harassment.
It's frankly fascinating how someone as insanely knee-jerk hateful towards Jack Thompson would gleefully worship someone like Anita Sarkeesian, and the levels of self-delusion he engages in to deny that he in any way is logically inconsistent is breathtaking. He even went to the effort of retconning his well-documented opinions on Jack Thompson (See above) so he can justify defending Anita Sarkeesian, the mental gymnastics displayed here are quite astounding:
Bob's departure from The Escapist began the slow decline of his relevance, as he went from having a massive audience to having virtually none; Bob ain't no Jim Sterling. He even tried going back to ScrewAttack, but was quickly BTFO when he wouldn't stop sperging about GamerGate, even forcing his new/old employers to add a disclaimer:
Despite Bob maintaining many connections to the same circle of friends, his loss of influence brought with it a corresponding loss of views and lack of a useful platform; the bulk of his one-time allies have henceforth forgotten he existed as he moved on to sperging about Drumpf and evil centrist Democrats.
Speaking of which, I mentioned above how anti-Hillary he was back in 2008, but what I didn't mention was how much hatred he held for her, and how prophetic he would prove to be while espousing that dislike:
"And yet she's STILL got a 50% chance of winning, because it's WHOLLY possible for her and Bill to engineer a good old-fashioned smoky-backroom super-delegate deal at the convention. Yeah, it'll tear the guts out of the Democrats as a party, inflame American racial tensions in a way not seen since Rodney King and likely disillusion an entire generation of young voters who got swept up in Obamania for ten years or more. It's the Clintons. You think they WOULDN'T do all that for their own gain?" - Bob seeing the Clintons's real selves, and also somehow being stupid enough to vehemently support Hillary 8 years later, autism never quits.
https://moviebob.blogspot.com/2008/02/not-dead-oscars-and-hillary-clinton.html
https://archive.fo/p7H2t
https://moviebob.blogspot.com/2008/02/not-dead-oscars-and-hillary-clinton.html
https://archive.fo/p7H2t
Also, he has shown himself to be quite the gentleman, admitting to being a silent observer to rumors of fellow neckbeard, Devin Faraci's sexual abuse of women.
Also, there is this little nugget:
Here's a partial list of things I haven't done lately:
That would be Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet for "The Other Boleyn Girl," doing something they could previously only be seen doing in my imagination 20-30 times a day. News item here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=515051&in_page_id=1773
http://archive.is/i8r6G
- I have not saved any infants from burning buildings.
- I have not retrieved my great-aunt's cat from a tall tree.
- I have not helped give soup to the homeless.
- I have not read "Peter Rabbit" to child cancer patients in the Terminal Ward.
- I have not air-dropped medical supplies to Darfur.
- I have not given one red cent to the collection plate of any church anywhere.
- I have not martyred myself in the Colosseum.
- I have not slain the Dragon imperiling the local serfdom.
I have not given up all worldly possessions to walk the Earth proclaiming His Word.
That would be Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet for "The Other Boleyn Girl," doing something they could previously only be seen doing in my imagination 20-30 times a day. News item here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=515051&in_page_id=1773
http://archive.is/i8r6G
Fat? Check.
"Respects Women"? Check.
What's missing? Oh, yeah:
Fedora? Fucking Check.
V) Die überlegene Zukunft von MovieBob
"A revolution is not a trail of roses. A revolution is a fight to the death between the future and the past" ― Fidel Castro
Now we get to the part that makes Moviebob such a unique lolcow, because let's face it, there's entire collectives dedicated to making shitty pop-culture videos such as TGWTG/Channel Awesome, Andrew Dobson has pretty much cornered the "Fat lonely man screeching on Twitter" market, there are spergs who are obsessed with Mario and other vidya characters in similar ways, and I'm sure that there's many other SJW cows who also chimped out during Gamergate and suffered collateral damage.
The thing is, I am not sure that we have any other cows who did all that AND planned a SUPERIOR FUTURE for us all!
Yes, while nearly all SJW keyboard warriors are quickly found to be oppressive assholes if you read between enough lines, Moviebob fucking spells it out for you, he is possibly humanity's 1st ever basement-made dictator.
You see, Bob believes that a Superior Future is dawning upon us, and it had been held back for too long by those obsolete blue-collar white conservatives who make Jerbs their primary voting driver and stand in the way of true progress for all stunning brave womyn, POCs and LGBT people, who totally deserve all of your money and attention btw. He frequently cites mechanization and overpopulation as factors that will ease in the new and improved future, where physical strength and toxic masculinity is no longer the defining factor of success..
He also sees no need to pander to those obsolete humans by giving them the privilege of voting, because that diminishes the voting power of the enlightened, but marginalized elites, like himself of course, because we all know that humanity needs more Superhero film reviews and clickbait articles than it needs actual farmers or factory workers..
Prior to becoming an SJW cow, Bob always saw himself as an Libertarian-leaning independent thinker, usually this meant making long rambling posts in which he acts like a prick who thinks he's smarter than both parties, while adding nothing of substance to the discussion.But things completely changed in the lead-up to the 2012 Presidential elections, Bob initially was somewhat suspicious and doubting of Obama, even wondering in 2008 what George Carlin would think of "Barack Obama's bullshit-dripping idealistic self-help stump speeches". This quickly changed when Bin Laden was killed in 2011 under Obama's leadership, Shortly after that, the 1st mention of a Superior Future that was held back by George W. Bush Jr. was made in January 2012, this eventually graduated to long ass rants about how Obama needs to beat Romney to ensure that the superior future beats the obsolete past, or something.. Case in point: Check out this hilarious blogpost linking The Avengers to Obama, and The Dark Knight Rises to Romney.
He even wrote his own Mein Kampf, which in typical Bob fashion is incredibly byzantine, contradictory, and takes 10 paragraphs to explain what is essentially 2-3 ideas.
Of course Obama won as we all know, and predictably, Bob published a truly cringe-worthy blogpost about how the future has comprehensively beat the past forever and ever, concluding with "But, still, little by little we are improving. With each battle won over the forces of "tradition," anachronism and superstition; persons of open-mind get one step closer to building the Superior America that we both need and - to be frank - deserve for the 21st Century.". By now in Bob's mind, the Supreme Future has all the pieces set in place, but 4 years later, an orange-colored spanner was thrown in the works..
Fast-forward to 2016, with his "no bad targets" mentality firmly in place, Bob has been highly emboldened and hardened from what is now years of sperg kombat in the name of Saints Anita & Zoe.. But all will be good, the Superior Future will be at hand, and all blue-collar jobs will be mechanized by YAAS QUEEN herself, whose imminent arrival to the Oval Office will definitely feed us fucking moon wheat you backwards bastards!
A photograph of the 1st moon wheat farmer.
But the rise of the Emperor dashed those hopes completely.. Trump won, and much, much salt was had, starting with this salty video Bob made while wearing a Star Wars T-shirt, totally appropriate for the occasion of course:
He also made a blogpost for maximum asspats, read it you obsolete person!
Oh, what's that you say? You want more salt? Why yes of course, you can have some more salt:
I'm really being honest here, I'm truly unsure if he'll stop ranting after Trump's presidency ends!
VI) Conclusion
"Egotism is the anesthetic which nature gives us to deaden the pain of being a fool." ― Dr. Herbert Shofield
Bob's father knew little of the sheer autism that would be unleashed by letting his son play this game
A lot of this post has been about thoroughly documenting and summarizing what has been a decade of Bob's autism, hubris and stupidity without resorting to cheap shots, now it's time for me to state some final obervations on what kind of person I found Bob to be while researching him.
Bob is oddly comfortable in his current role in life, to the point where he nonchalantly refers to his place as his "Basement Apartment", and somehow has deluded himself to feel that his very, very disposable occupation as a pop-culture critic is not only immune to societal changes (despite getting fired twice), but superior enough to allow him to openly disparage people that despite their flaws, are far more contributing to society than he ever will be, and even call for eugenic and dictator-like practices to forcibly remove them from steering wheel of society in favor of his coastal blue-checkmark butt buddies. And if you face him with facts he will simply call you a Nazi, friendo.
Also, Bob loves to let us know how much of an independent thinker he is, however, he really is just a lemming who goes with whatever the cool contrarian kids say. He frequently talks about how he has eschewed ideology for Machiavellian goals, but he also frequently bends over backwards to support his current Cultural Marxist overlords despite it not being in his best interests. Also, like any other would-be dictator, He doesn't like it when you criticize him.
Matter of fact, by now, I'm really fucking tired of documenting and commentating on Bob's unique brand of autism, so let's make a game of it: Here's a random number generator, just plug in the latest page number, and generate an in-between number you like, I guarantee you that when you visit the corresponding page, you will find something exceptional to laugh at. It almost never fails.
Don't believe me? Allow me to demonstrate:
Page 371: Bob tells us that we can't save "Trump Country" because those inferior humans are jealous of the evolved ones.
Page 458: Bob feels no remorse about Zack Snyder's daughter's suicide, because he directed a movie he doesn't like.
Page 676: Bob's spergs about DACA, and invokes Godwin's Law at the same time.
You should try it, it's a fun game.
In conclusion, Bob is the supreme commandant führer of spergs, who has nothing superior about him (Not just my opinion), and whose autism intersects with a number of lolcow classifications that's just short of OPL himself. But I have faith that science will somehow prevail and be able to find his exact mental illness(es) just yet. Though I wouldn't count on a cure happening in my lifetime.
But while we wait for science to do its thing, I believe I speak on behalf of Dear Leader and all Kiwis of the past, present and future when I give Bob this highly illustrious (and fitting!) seal that he has well and truly earned with the sweat of his moobs:
There's a lot of stuff that ended up on the cutting room floor for various reasons, so I may make another post detailing some of them at some later point.. Bob is just one of those cows you could write a book about and still leave funny on the table.
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- Joined
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Soda, pent-up testosterone, and one of the weirdest sleeping schedules I've ever seen in a person.
A.K.A. The OPL method of staying active.
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2017
Chris has always been ahead of the lolcow curve. It's probably his only achievement if you think about it.
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