Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Quoted for emphasis. Bob is an odd, hateful little man who wants everyone to be as miserable as he is because things aren't going his way.

Bob's entire behavior and belief system essentially stems from the fact that he still has his childhood mindset and hasn't been able to move on with his life. He's never been able to actually let go of his childhood traumas like a normal person does.

A normal person does not hold onto their childhood traumas like Bob has. The essential reason why is simple: age and development. As a child grows up, they have to take on different responsibilities and face different obstacles in life that force their childhood mindset to fall apart. Things like developing a career, getting married, having kids and just simply having to take on adult responsibilities does this to a person. They learn to let go of their shitty childhood experiences, things like bullying. They no longer hold onto it and they no longer spend all their time thinking about it. It just pops up every now and then, and when it does they don't get angry about it. It's just a mere memory.

The story of Bob Chipman is the polar opposite of this. Bob's never had to really take on genuine responsibilities in his life. He's always fallen back on his family and has never had to actually take care of himself like a normal person. As such, his childhood mindset is still intact. His lack of a true job and lack of socialization has led to him thinking about all the ways he was a wronged as kid on a daily basis. Bob now wants to punish everyone else because he's still angry about how he was treated as a kid. The only reason he can't is because he doesn't have any real skills to move up in his life. He's just a man child who thinks he's great but is really nothing more then fodder for those to laugh at, which infuriates him even more.
 
A normal person does not hold onto their childhood traumas like Bob has. The essential reason why is simple: age and development. As a child grows up, they have to take on different responsibilities and face different obstacles in life that force their childhood mindset to fall apart. Things like developing a career, getting married, having kids and just simply having to take on adult responsibilities does this to a person. They learn to let go of their shitty childhood experiences, things like bullying. They no longer hold onto it and they no longer spend all their time thinking about it. It just pops up every now and then, and when it does they don't get angry about it. It's just a mere memory.
Exactly. It also helps to experience a very dangerous or near-death situation to give you some perspective on life. "Your words are violence" becomes a stupid idea when you've faced a raging sea, an angry animal that can seriously injure, or a cold night at the mercy of the weather. Only sheltered babies unable to think outside their phones believe disagreement to be the end of the world.
 
Why yes, this circlejerk is deserving of a lamely-executed meme.
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Bob, using many of his tactics back to back.
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I don't have this whenever I have a cold. Then again, I exercise and I'm skinny as a rail so...¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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(Also, what the hell are his other "mortal fears"?)
 
I don't know what kind of colds this dude is getting, but that sounds kind of serious. Between this and the sleep apnea Bob really should see a doctor.

:alog:
He should, but I don't want him to because the idea of this fat fucker slowly rotting away because he's too stupid to get a check-up darkly amuses me.
It'd be tragic for someone's life to head in that direction but it'd also be ironic for a man who constantly goes on about those he believes are evolutionary dead ends compared to evolved Superior men like himself.

Losing taste.
It wouldn't make a difference. You don't really taste food much if you just shove it down your throat and it's clear how he eats to get that size.
 
Why yes, this circlejerk is deserving of a lamely-executed meme.
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Bob, using many of his tactics back to back.
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I don't have this whenever I have a cold. Then again, I exercise and I'm skinny as a rail so...¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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(Also, what the hell are his other "mortal fears"?)
Bob sure does seem to get sick a lot...
 
Bob sure does seem to get sick a lot...

It's most likely a mixture of his living condition (moldy basement) his corpulence, diabetes, and bad attitude. Having a miserable outlook tends to make you feel more unwell.
On the other hand, maybe some kind of divine entity is giving some kind of karma to Bob by making his existence as miserable as possible until his inevitable (and hopefully nearby) death.

Given that he's so unhealthy I think it's time we think of what'll we do when Bob dies. Will we just move on to another cow or will we try to get in contact with his spirit? I hope ghosts are real so that we (the #1 harassment forum) can mock restless spirits.
 
Bob sure does seem to get sick a lot...

It's bound to happen when your a two ton diabetic living in a flooded, mold filled "basement apartment" while also maintaining one of the worst anger induced, stress filled mindsets humanity has ever seen.

Given that he's so unhealthy I think it's time we think of what'll we do when Bob dies. Will we just move on to another cow or will we try to get in contact with his spirit? I hope ghosts are real so that we (the #1 harassment forum) can mock restless spirits.

I hope their isn't such things as ghost. I could just imagine ghost Bob haunting the shit out of some white, conservative couple who bought his mother's house after his death.
 
It's bound to happen when your a two ton diabetic living in a flooded, mold filled "basement apartment" while also maintaining one of the worst anger induced, stress filled mindsets humanity has ever seen.



I hope their isn't such things as ghost. I could just imagine ghost Bob haunting the shit out of some white, conservative couple who bought his mother's house after his death.

I never thought of it like that. It wouldn't surprise me how ever if Bob was too incompetent to actually haunt anyone. Think about it, he's be unable to eat which would annoy him; he's be unable!e to block his hauntees so if he ever tried to argue with them he'd likely have to face a real debate; and he's too obsessed with pop culture to ever just kill his "victims". If anything there's a chance he'd be more amusing than a hassle.
 
How does "unable to accept verifiable facts about Trump" logically infer "unable to accept verifiable facts about oneself"? Does this moron think everyone is Trump?

A normal person does not hold onto their childhood traumas like Bob has.
He didn't have any "childhood trauma" apart from "every kid in school had a Sega but I'm stuck with a Nintendo".

(Also, what the hell are his other "mortal fears"?)
Rabbids becoming canon in the Mario franchise?
 
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Exactly. It also helps to experience a very dangerous or near-death situation to give you some perspective on life. "Your words are violence" becomes a stupid idea when you've faced a raging sea, an angry animal that can seriously injure, or a cold night at the mercy of the weather. Only sheltered babies unable to think outside their phones believe disagreement to be the end of the world.

This is why special snowflakes should be savagely beaten at least once. This isn't A-Logging, it's for their own good. It would give them some perspective.

I never thought of it like that. It wouldn't surprise me how ever if Bob was too incompetent to actually haunt anyone. Think about it, he's be unable to eat which would annoy him; he's be unable!e to block his hauntees so if he ever tried to argue with them he'd likely have to face a real debate; and he's too obsessed with pop culture to ever just kill his "victims". If anything there's a chance he'd be more amusing than a hassle.

Bob would be sort of a sub-poltergeist nuisance. Instead of scaring you he'd just whine a lot and be a pussy and annoy you.

Bob sure does seem to get sick a lot...

It's because he's fat.
 
Sperging about cloning Bruce Lee.
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Please, it's too soon. I don't wanna think about your spergery until it comes out.
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How to be a bigger autismo than Elon Musk.
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Again, pretty sure Dobson wrote this.
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The last thing we need out of you is smugness.
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He's like a talking head, but with tweeting. And even more punchable.
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Translation: "I know the reports are closing in, and I'm trying to cover my ass."
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It strikes me as more than a little racist that Bob takes people's ethnicity at face value, seeing as Bruce Lee was born in San Francisco to a family from Hong Kong... and buried in the very Chinese city of, uh, Seattle.
well bob doesn't have time to google things between tweeting and thinking of his next zinger to send to trump on twitter
 
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It strikes me as more than a little racist that Bob takes people's ethnicity at face value, seeing as Bruce Lee was born in San Francisco to a family from Hong Kong... and buried in the very Chinese city of, uh, Seattle.

Didn't you hear? Fact-checking is beneath an ubermensch like Robert Chipman, hero of the Superior Future. Research is for unevolved peons from the wasteland.
 
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