Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

  • Happy Easter!

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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I would love to se movieboob somehow run for president I can't help but imagine that to his shock and horror his intelligent, eloquent, inherently superior rhetoric is a turnoff to people who aren't so far up their own ass they have imploded in on themselves. Debates would be absolutely gutbusting to see him stammer over himself when his ideas face actual genuine national scrutiny and resistance and the final nail in the comedy coffin would be him having to come to terms with the fact that the dreaded mayonnaise ghouls would inevitably lead to his absolute crushing defeat
It's a nice dream, but Robert will never put himself out there like that. Deep down he knows that most people find his personality and views repellent, a reality he hides from in his online semi-safe spaces (he doesn't fully close himself off because like many cows he's addicted enough to attention that he'll weather some negativity for it). But putting his views under a spotlight for the general public, putting himself in a position where he'd have to actually answer tough questions and defend things he's said without a Tweet limit to protect him from clear communication... that he will hide from till the day he dies.

Back during Gamergate, several pro people, including Sargon of Akkad and Razorfist, challenged Robert to a debate. Aside from his shitty Anti-thinker sketch, which was supposed to be a diss on Razorfist but which he couldn't get right because he didn't actually watch enough Razorfist to know how to do it right (just like his Jordan Peterson parody, and neither of those guys should be hard to satirize, Robert's just shit at it like everything else), Robert never so much as acknowledged either of them. He couldn't even do the "Who are you?" schtick, because Sargon was bigger than him even back then, and he obviously knew who Razorfist was.

Robert is a pussy ass bitch of the kind who goes on a tirade about how he's going to kick someone's ass, then screams like a little girl when that person turns around and raises a hand towards him. He just does it on the internet because he's not even brave enough to pull that shit in real life.
 
It's a nice dream, but Robert will never put himself out there like that. Deep down he knows that most people find his personality and views repellent, a reality he hides from in his online semi-safe spaces (he doesn't fully close himself off because like many cows he's addicted enough to attention that he'll weather some negativity for it). But putting his views under a spotlight for the general public, putting himself in a position where he'd have to actually answer tough questions and defend things he's said without a Tweet limit to protect him from clear communication... that he will hide from till the day he dies.

Back during Gamergate, several pro people, including Sargon of Akkad and Razorfist, challenged Robert to a debate. Aside from his shitty Anti-thinker sketch, which was supposed to be a diss on Razorfist but which he couldn't get right because he didn't actually watch enough Razorfist to know how to do it right (just like his Jordan Peterson parody, and neither of those guys should be hard to satirize, Robert's just shit at it like everything else), Robert never so much as acknowledged either of them. He couldn't even do the "Who are you?" schtick, because Sargon was bigger than him even back then, and he obviously knew who Razorfist was.

Robert is a pussy ass bitch of the kind who goes on a tirade about how he's going to kick someone's ass, then screams like a little girl when that person turns around and raises a hand towards him. He just does it on the internet because he's not even brave enough to pull that shit in real life.

To be fair, that was a pretty spot on unintentional Jim Sterling impression.
 
I would love to se movieboob somehow run for president I can't help but imagine that to his shock and horror his intelligent, eloquent, inherently superior rhetoric is a turnoff to people who aren't so far up their own ass they have imploded in on themselves. Debates would be absolutely gutbusting to see him stammer over himself when his ideas face actual genuine national scrutiny and resistance and the final nail in the comedy coffin would be him having to come to terms with the fact that the dreaded mayonnaise ghouls would inevitably lead to his absolute crushing defeat
President is definitely off of the table, but maybe if he was prodded by the wrong people and got the wrong ideas put in his head by retards and sycophants then maybe we could see him run for some sort of local position. If he was up against a Republican or a centrist Democrat who was determined to win then I imagine that it would generate some excellent milk. Still, he would have to get past what @Doctor Placebo talked about.
 
BREAKING NEWS!

We went from half the country to around a quarter of it being worth saving and Bob has broken his silence on the Wu-Flu.
"The worst thing about viruses is they really are amoral"
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That's some nice priorities you piece of shit.
BREAKINGER NEWS!!1

DONUT KILL URSELF YET! LIFE AM GOOD NOW!
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That's some nice priorities you piece of shit.
One of the worst things about diabetes is that it isn't just Bob Chipman who is impotent, brain-starved, and at risk of losing his feet, it also affects millions of decent people.
The worst thing, of course, is that it can kill people (same for viruses) but of course this fat greasy sociopath is primarily mad they don't kill "the right people".
 
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BREAKING NEWS!

We went from half the country to around a quarter of it being worth saving and Bob has broken his silence on the Wu-Flu.
"The worst thing about viruses is they really are amoral"
View attachment 1181437
That's some nice priorities you piece of shit.
BREAKINGER NEWS!!1

DONUT KILL URSELF YET! LIFE AM GOOD NOW!
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Is Robert in the, "China dindu nuffin, this wasn't an engineered virus that was almost certainly meant to be weaponized that got out, despite actual biologists saying it looks like it is" school of CCP shills? He sure seems outraged by a Fox News anchor suggesting they apologize for that shit, although his thought process probably began and ended with, "Fox News am bad. China has lesbian tiddy lady who like my tweets."

Randomly wonder why MOVIE Bob never goes to film festivals.
Will film festivals show the Lego Mario Movie? Clearly another obsolete thing falling to progress, friendo! Unlike Blockbuster, which was tragically cut down before its time.
 
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Is Robert in the, "China dindu nuffin, this wasn't an engineered virus that was almost certainly meant to be weaponized that got out, despite actual biologists saying it looks like it is" school of CCP shills? He sure seems outraged by a Fox News anchor suggesting they apologize for that shit, although his thought process probably began and ended with, "Fox News am bad. China has lesbian tiddy lady who like my tweets."
This is the first time, that I'm aware of, that he has directly addressed the virus. The only other time that he's said anything about, besides retweeting Tiddy-Chan and her sperging about racism, was him retweeting a vid about China using flying drones to yell
at people to wear face masks and him sad because America doesn't have anything cool as government drones actively and openly spying on you.

So in true Bob fashion he hasn't really stated what he thinks other than "I said China and technology is super rad so please give me a pity handy for being a good boi as I have my own version of the Wu-Flu.".
 
Meanwhile, the cause of Bob's death will likely be asphyxiation from his farts in his basement apartment though it will probably be days before anyone realizes it because they're used to the smell.
I'm unsure if you mean that literally or metaphorically but I suppose both are just as likely to happen
 
EDIT:
Got ninja'd by @kiwipenguin while throwing this together.

BREAKINGEST NEWS!

BOB HAS COME DOWN WITH A TERMINAL CASE OF COPING COOF!
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WHITE KNIGHTS HAVE BEEN DEPLOYED TO REVERE TO ISSUE AID!
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BREAKINGEST NEWS!

BOB HAS COME DOWN WITH A TERMINAL CASE OF COPING COOF!
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WHITE KNIGHTS HAVE BEEN DEPLOYED TO REVERE TO ISSUE AID!
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I love when Bob throws around terms like "libel" and low-key threatens his alleged defamers to take down their tweets or else. Because Bob knows as much about law as he does about a healthy diet. Even better, despite his thesaurus-driven babble, he tends to speak with such grandiose, sweeping statements that are just vague enough to mean something other than their obvious interpretation ... but the obvious interpretation is still there. Man up and own your shitty opinions, butterball. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Or my cake, for that matter, or your brother's cake, or all the cakes in the Boston suburbs' bakeries, fattypot.
 
BREAKINGEST NEWS!

BOB HAS COME DOWN WITH A TERMINAL CASE OF COPING COOF!
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WHITE KNIGHTS HAVE BEEN DEPLOYED TO REVERE TO ISSUE AID!
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"Especially with yummy outdoor food season coming up."

Writing like the toddler he is does not make him endearing, as he likes to think. It makes him somehow even more nauseating.
 
NEWS UPDATE!

FUCKING COWARD DELETES TWEET!
PROCLAIMS "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"!
HANGS BANNER!
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"It did it's job."
You're the architect of the Superior Future, Bob. Surely you know the difference between "it's" (contraction of "it is") and "its" (possessive form of "it"). Is English not the official language of the Superior Future? Or are you just so smooth-brained that you make basic grammar mistakes?
Yes, I know I'm being a Grammar Nazi. But if anyone deserves to have their grammar policed, it's Cinema Robert. We all know he'd do the same if given the chance.
 
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