Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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People keep calling Bobbychip "ugly" but I'm not seeing it. I've never seen it. The only really "ugly" feature he, physically, has is that he's overweight but I've seen lots of obsolete mayo ghouls who got themselves a hot chick even though they've eaten so much meat that it's starting to turn them into livestock themselves. If he's ugly in any way, it's in that he's just a boring asshole. He is neither hot nor cold so the gene pool will spit him out.
 
People keep calling Bobbychip "ugly" but I'm not seeing it. I've never seen it. The only really "ugly" feature he, physically, has is that he's overweight but I've seen lots of obsolete mayo ghouls who got themselves a hot chick even though they've eaten so much meat that it's starting to turn them into livestock themselves. If he's ugly in any way, it's in that he's just a boring asshole. He is neither hot nor cold so the gene pool will spit him out.
See usually we don't go for the ad hominems (that's only reserved for the true uggos like John Flynt Wu). However he is very hypocrtical about who he's calling ugly and ghoulish when he looks like the way he does, piled on with his eugenics and superior future boner
 
See usually we don't go for the ad hominems (that's only reserved for the true uggos like John Flynt Wu). However he is very hypocrtical about who he's calling ugly and ghoulish when he looks like the way he does, piled on with his eugenics and superior future boner
Exactly. You'll see the most savage takedowns of Bob's appearance when he derides some conservative women's looks or insults perfectly normal looking dudes for reminding him of some shitty movie stereotype.
 
People keep calling Bobbychip "ugly" but I'm not seeing it. I've never seen it. The only really "ugly" feature he, physically, has is that he's overweight but I've seen lots of obsolete mayo ghouls who got themselves a hot chick even though they've eaten so much meat that it's starting to turn them into livestock themselves. If he's ugly in any way, it's in that he's just a boring asshole. He is neither hot nor cold so the gene pool will spit him out.
The man has sported both a pedostache and a neckbeard within the past decade. When he isn't wearing unwashed t-shirts with the neck holes stretched beyond goatse, he's sporting ill fitting or inappropriate clothing, such as the polo shirt and white socks wedding suit.

He might not be the world's most hideous specimen, but he can't even accessorize the shapeless lump of suet he was dealt.
 
There are certainly uglier cows on the farms, but Bob's no prize. As mentioned, he's fat and badly dressed, with questionable taste in hairstyle and facial hair. His beard often looks kind of weird and scraggly, like he compulsively pulls it out or something. And let's not forget about his weird sunken cheeks, looking so jarringly out of place on his bloated body. And his Twitter avatars do him no favors either when he shows his face; he went from Smug Yellow Piss Bob to Literal Mouth-Breather Sunglasses Bob. And the green tint from his incompetent green-screening makes him look ugly too. But honestly it's knowledge of his inner ugliness that takes him all the way down from a 3.5 to a 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. Like when you look at a girlcow who would be passable but you know that she's a cluster B headcase bitch who stinks because she's a drunk with awful hygiene.
 
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There are certainly uglier cows on the farms, but Bob's no prize. As mentioned, he's fat and badly dressed, with questionable taste in hairstyle and facial hair. His beard often looks kind of weird and scraggly, like he compulsively pulls it out or something. And let's not forget about his weird sunken cheeks, looking so jarringly out of place on his bloated body. And his Twitter avatars do him no favors either when he shows his face; he went from Smug Yellow Piss Bob to Literal Mouth-Breather Sunglasses Bob. And the green tint from his incompetent green-screening makes him look ugly too. But honestly it's knowledge of his inner ugliness that takes him all the way down from a 3.5 to a 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. Like when you look at a girlcow who would be passable but you know that she's a cluster B headcase bitch who stinks because she's a drunk with awful hygiene.

This raises an interesting question that I've been meaning to ask others here: what would you do to make Bob look appealing? Ignoring his personality, how would you go about trying to physically improve him so that he looks normal or at least better than he is now?

I would get him on a strict diet and exercise regiment for one. Given his age I might have him go to a doctor to look into getting on some testosterone boosters. I would also have him go outside on a daily basis to get some more sun exposure. He will start using skincare products as well.

There's not much we can do with his face, he just has too many ugly features. As for hair I would have him look into what his options are transplant wise. Between that and some beard restoration, he could have thicker and fuller hair that can be easily styled to fit him.

As for style, I would get rid of all his current clothing. No more nerd t-shirts, Mario jackets or clothing that doesn't go together. I would have him start wearing button ups, plaid shirts and polos. I would also have him look into getting contacts or eye surgery, lose the glasses since no style seems to work for him.
 
The delectable poetry of Bob's ugliness is that it is entirely self-inflicted.

He'd be quite normal looking, maybe even handsome, if he wasn't such a fat fuck and didn't feel the need to hide his disgusting frog-chin with an even more repulsive neckbeard. He's actually quite tall and some people can make pattern baldness work or at least hide it, so with decent dietary/exercise habits and an eye for fashion even slightly above that of Chris(tine) Chan it's possible Bob could even look like a well adjusted fucking adult.

Why do that, though, when you can sperg on twitter all day then consoom a few products and praise our corporate overlords?
 
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This should be the universal reply to all Bobby's tweets. Indeed this should be in the OP.

Wouldn't [giving half trillion dollars to big corporations] be a good idea considering what's going on? I don't understand politics or economy, so just tell me how wrong I am if I am.
There is no such thing as "good idea" by Trump. Even if Trump gave out half trillion bucks to the most poor and "marginalized" people, SJWs will continue to yell about Universal Basic Income and some such.

[AOC] does have nice tits.
Bobby's taste is more exaggerated and artificial.
 
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I kinda think the main reason the Scot Pilgrim movie has fans is because their fans of Edgar Wright and don't want to admit he has a bad film.
The directing and visuals of the film are actually really good. The film looks great. It has good choreography and comedic timing.

The problem is the script, which goes back to the source material. It's the story of a romance between a pair of selfish hipster assholes who screw over the few decent people in their lives. Scott goes from a selfish asshole with fairy tale ideas of romance and a soulmate to a selfish asshole with a somewhat more realistic/cynical view of romance. That's the big arc of the movie, and there's no reason to care because Scott is a selfish asshole regardless. As for Ramona, she's the perfect fictionalized version of the type of basic bitch who cultivates an "interesting" image by doing shallow shit like dye her hair different colors, listen to obscure bands, screw a wide assortment of weirdos, and stare off into space a lot to hide her lack of any actual personality and talent. What does she even do in the movie besides dress "quirky" and screw guys (and one girl, because gotta get that on your resume)?

Even like 80% of the people who like the movie admit that the main characters are shitheads, and the other 20% are people you should avoid.

She does have nice tits.
Better than mommy Warren and mommy Hillary, Robert's two other congresswoman fetishes, at least.

There is no such thing as "good idea" by Trump. Even if Trump gave out half trillion bucks to the most poor and "marginalized" people, SJWs will continue to yell about Universal Basic Income and some such.
They'd say he was doing it to manipulate people as part of some diabolical scheme that no doubt would end in herding minorities into gas chambers.
 
People keep calling Bobbychip "ugly" but I'm not seeing it. I've never seen it. The only really "ugly" feature he, physically, has is that he's overweight but I've seen lots of obsolete mayo ghouls who got themselves a hot chick even though they've eaten so much meat that it's starting to turn them into livestock themselves. If he's ugly in any way, it's in that he's just a boring asshole. He is neither hot nor cold so the gene pool will spit him out.
I think he would have just been an average looking dude if he had got a real job, been serious about his therapy, stayed a healthy weight, and avoided social justice. He's added 15+ years to his face and body just from bad choices.
 
Bob's basic problem is that he's so steeped in escapism that he's lost track of the reality that he's escaping from. Sometimes I'm legitimately curious about his ability to distinguish fact from fiction, then I remember that he's such an asshole I don't actually care. That's why he won't take care of himself: his life is lived vicariously through Twitter, where his svelte immoral robot body is JUST around the corner, as opposed to the declining, diabetic lump of flesh that he packs into tacky, ill-fitting clothes that exists in mere reality.

It's why he stans so hard for troons: the idea that you can radically remake your body beyond the limits of mere biology is something he NEEDS to be true for his life not to have been a sodium and cholesterol filled waste.
 
Bobby's biggest sins looks wise are what he wears and how he acts. A fat dude with sunken jowls ain't pretty, but being a hate-filled fat guy with jowls that unironically wears shades, a manchild shirt, and a duster definitely doesn't help.
 
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