Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[kappageist]

Gawd it's been a while, had to take a break since Bob's posts were giving me diabedies it seemed, lo and behold I had way more to get caught up with...I appreciate what you're doiung here as I wouldn't have the energy, this is so friggin' laborious chronicling this psycho's sperg outs like this.
Anyway, I know this marks me an otaku or whatever but I've gotten into Jojo's Bizarre adventure, and there's this one shot villain who's got one of those "Netflix Adaptation" memes, and I swear you could just put Bobbo's picture on that window for Carne

And ever wonder what kind of abomination Bob would look like if he got major liposuction? Still a freak

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

Shaving the beard doesn't do him any good either. It only draws attention to the nose, the chins, and the pitted cheeks.

 

[Mola Ram]

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Shaving the beard doesn't do him any good either. It only draws attention to the nose, the chins, and the pitted cheeks.

He does look a little friendlier, like the sort of retard who only wants to give you a lung-shattering hug instead of the kind who wants to suplex you and shit on your head.

I mean, we know better, but still.

 

[StraightShooter2]

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But do we see you fondling little boys?

I believe it relates to this:
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Let's see, a 40-something single man fantasizing about going by himself to a theme park designed for 10-year old kids.

I'd be creeped out if I was a parent and ran into Blob at a theme park...

Especially if he was dressed up as Mario... he might be asking kids if they want to taste his "mushroom".

 

[kappageist]

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Shaving the beard doesn't do him any good either. It only draws attention to the nose, the chins, and the pitted cheeks.

Ugh, Razorfist made jokes abut his pedostache, but him looking clean shaven to me just makes him kinda look like Weinstein. All he's missing is a fancy suit, a cigar chomped in his micro teeth, and Gwyneth Paltrow holding a golden statue on a leash. Not that I feel sorry for her really, the Goop pedling snake-oil salsewamen she's become today.

 

[Syaoran Li]

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Shaving the beard doesn't do him any good either. It only draws attention to the nose, the chins, and the pitted cheeks.

Even clean=shaven he looks bad.

I mean, it's not quite as repulsive as having the full beard but it's still awful.

It's sad when his creepy pedo mustache is the best-looking of the three options.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Even clean=shaven he looks bad.

I mean, it's not quite as repulsive as having the full beard but it's still awful.

It's sad when his creepy pedo mustache is the best-looking of the three options.

I'd say the beard looks better just because it covers most of his face. No matter what he does though he'll never look good. Poor features combined with his inability to ever make a normal facial expression have doomed him to a life of hideousness.

 

[MirrorNoir]

their is a market for that sort of writting, the Authority explores the subject quite well, Were a group of superheroes engage in dismantlement of the obligarchic status quo to establish a contempory American 'ideal' Liberal society.....by force. You can do this sort of thing and it's great but you have to remember that it's quite niche and has to acknowlague the best case scenario you're establishing an obligarchy of relatively benevolant God's (hopefully. Their's a reason why mainstreme heroes don't exert control of the goverment and why a lot of superhero conflicts are Demi-gods who wish to rule via force vs those who respect the little people.

Authority's a weird bird. The twelve issue Ellis run explicitly portrayed them as 100% reactionary to other threats (alien/parallel earth invaders and a mass murdering Fu Manchu rip-off) and the only time they proactively did something was sink part of Italy from a parallel earth and the artist screwed up the artwork so they sunk the wrong part of Italy; which Ellis later tried to cover up by saying the scene was drawn correctly and they accidentally killed innocents/let the bad guys escape.

It was under Millar that the book explicity became about the team being proactive against evil in the world and the pay-off to that storyline, was that the world's leaders finally got tired of dealing with the Authority lecturing them and doing whatever they wanted, that they tried to kill them and replace them with corporate backed replacements and tortured/mindraped the team until Midnighter (the only one not captured) freed them. And the run ended with the team allowing Earth to be ravaged by a rip in the space/time continuum (and threatened other heroes if they tried to seal the rift) to force humanity to put their money where their mouth was and fix a problem without their help. Then promptly murdered the President of the United States (who Peter Sellers' President from Dr Strangelove, after the Authority made Gore and Bush II make out on camera, as punishment for daring to call for the reality warper "The Doctor" be kicked from the team when he lost control over his powers after overdosing on heroin.

After that, the gloves were off with the Authority fucking shit up including killing a George Bush stand-in (thought that was mostly John fucking Layman's doing as he was editor of the Wildstorm books at the time) and them becoming "rulers" of America and framing Not-Bush for causing a disaster that destroyed Florida because they were too chickenshit to go after the terrorist Marty Sue in Sleepers who set the whole thing into motion.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

“Grandious” isn’t a fucking word, you dumb motherfucker.

Also, has Bob ever had a meal he didn’t cover in some sugar-laden sauce? I wonder if his doctors have ever found any blood in his diabetes stream.

@Leonard Helplessness I’d like to go spelunking too, please and thank you.

 

[Marche]

I went spelunking through the pictures I downloaded when I was scraping his Twitter timeline.

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Halloween 2012. No beard, the stache is decidedly more pedo though.

As I'm walking through pictures I'm stopping at ones that are interesting, pulling related tweets for context, and archiving them. For instance:

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(archive)
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It would probably look delicious to me if I found rice and beans cooked together with a dog's gastric discharges to be delicious.

For some of the pictures I do immediately look for context, such as when I found this photo and he says it was just the display at a local Taco Bell, not something he actually did in his home:

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He probably got ideas though.

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(archive)

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I doubt they still fit, nor are fit to wear.


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(archive)

Of all the possible descriptions of MovieBob, "Delicious" is very rarely used.

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(archive)

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In keeping with his status as a bottom tier villain, Robert's skills at presentation are at best questionable.

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Robert is uncannily talented at producing dishes that look like they have already been eaten and then violently expelled from the body back onto the plate.

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Bob and some retarded cosplayer. I'm not sure which looks more pathetic.

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(archive)

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I'm not sure which part of this offends me the most. He mentioned in the replies that he keeps the soymilk around not because he likes the taste, but because it keeps 3 times as long as dairy milk.

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(archive)

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It's especially important that tweets like this be archived so as to memorialize that these are pictures that Robert took, of things that Robert made, and Robert then saw it fit to disclose these images to the public.

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Halloween 2013.

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No context required.

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Chiune Sugihara must be so proud that his legacy is remembered by a man who talks openly about wanting to exterminate vast swaths of the population on the presumption that they are ignorant and subhuman.

Also, no 2014 halloween costume.

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I'm not sure how you get steak to look that greasy and unappetizing even on purpose.

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Still Life with subway napkin.

As time goes on, especially after the November election, it becomes increasingly unfunny and choked with Orange Man Bad NPC shit, so I'm done with it for now. Let me know if you want me to zip the whole thing and post it on MEGA, in case you want to look for any remaining gold in this shitpile.

Does he only own one plate?
Of course he does but really?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Does he only own one plate?
Of course he does but really?

One plate, one fork, one spoon, one knife, one bowl, and dozens of Mario-themed items of clothing.

 

[Les Morfalous]

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(archive)

>Pabst blue ribbon
Not very familiar with American stereotype lingo, but isn't this brand usually associated with people who live in trailers, have no teeth and own banjos?Is our Enlightened superior-future man actually inbred-white-trash mongoloid?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

>Pabst blue ribbon
Not very familiar with American stereotype lingo, but isn't this brand usually associated with people who live in trailers, have no teeth and own banjos?Is our Enlightened superior-future man actually inbred-white-trash mongoloid?

Yes and yes.

 

[Kulee Baba]

>Pabst blue ribbon
Not very familiar with American stereotype lingo, but isn't this brand usually associated with people who live in trailers, have no teeth and own banjos?Is our Enlightened superior-future man actually inbred-white-trash mongoloid?

David Lynch made PBR hip to the Millennial moviedorks like Bob Chipman. I remember PBR was already widely known as a "Hipster Beer" by the 2000s because it's a cheap macro beer like Budweiser but doesn't feature an aggressive marketing campaign.

I can just imagine Bob sipping PBR at the Alamo Drafthouse with Devin Faraci. Semi-Functional Alcoholism like Bob's is a funny thing because people don't want to admit that they are in fact alcoholics. I think most drinkers even casual ones do this to an extent, I know I could substitute my fancy Bourbons & European produced Vodka with stuff that costs a fraction of the price. But I don't because it tastes slightly better to my palette (which might be psychological) and I feel upper class by pouring from a bottle of Buffalo Trace than I do from drinking Wild Turkey 101 (both good whiskeys fyi).

But anyway Bob drinks PBR because that's what people in his clique drink. It's a refreshing tasteless beer. In a threeway between its closest Macro cousins Corona and Bud Light the PBR is the one you're most likely to drink while wearing a Fedora.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

But anyway Bob drinks PBR because that's what people in his clique drink.

Bob definitely aspires to be part of a clique, but he’s not. He’s an unmarried, 40-year-old literal virgin who lives in a literal basement, alone and friendless. All these years later and Mario is still his only friend.

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

Omnilul at Bob saying Twitter is just a small part of his life.
He, on average, tweeted about once every 20 minutes or so over the past six or seven years. Not sure if that factored in that he can't tweet while sleeping (although he undoubtedly dreams about tweeting)

Nope, I've literally just divided the amount of tweets by the number of hours in all those days, not including the time to sleep, work, socialize with people, eat or shit.
And 'small part of his life' - yeah, sure. Let's assume a single tweet takes him 30 seconds, within which he either reads a thread and pens a response or writes something of his own and hits send. Just the tweets he's posted, there's no extra time spent just browsing stuff, retweeting etc.
If you were hired to write his current 230,594 tweets it'd take you 240 days of working full time, 8 hours per day of nothing but tweeting. There's 254 working days in a year. Within 9 years he's managed to spend a year tweeting full time, with all the rather generous stipulations above.

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This is horrifying and depressing on so many different levels. His fridge is just cans of beer, cans of soda, some condiments, a single jug of milk and soy milk.
What does he eat for breakfast, or any other meal aside from twitter photo-ops while we're at it? I see no eggs, cheese or meat there, nothing that will actually fill you up and make you go through the day. This is a fridge of a man who eats nothing but takeout and 'moderately sized McDonald's meals' while casually benching 315 in between of light Twitter sessions.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

What does he eat for breakfast, or any other meal aside from twitter photo-ops while we're at it? I see no eggs, cheese or meat there, nothing that will actually fill you up and make you go through the day.

I see two crisper drawers containing what he described previously as his favorite gaming snacks: baby carrots and fruit. Because Bob is a total fitness buff, you know. He subscribes to the “Beer has hops, hops are a vegetable, so beer is salad” rationale.

 

[Positron]

This is what a 36-year-old #BLM elite eats:


Some school will reopen. Bobby mad because the obsolete deplorable dares to get educated.

You heard it right. Because Bobby has to endure the unspeakable agony of his "summer plans" getting canceled, children all over the States must have their right of education taken away.

And the real virus is Bob:


The 2002 Spiderman movie wasn't woke enough:

Someone tells these people that the shittiest jokes are often the funniest.

More capeshit:


Disgusting Fedora bullshit:

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

>grok's
"Grok is" Bobby? Or are you trying to signify possession?

Every fucking time with this guy, I swear.

 

[Mola Ram]

>grok's
"Grok is" Bobby? Or are you trying to signify possession?

Every fucking time with this guy, I swear.

Eh, it actually makes sense if you know nerd shit. "Grok" is a word from Stranger in a Strange Land, that literally means a sort of ritual cannibalism but more broadly means to absorb the essence of something. It found its way into geek lingo for decades, although you don't hear it much these days. Saying "I grok you" as a way of saying "I really get and understand you" was once relatively common in those circles.

The problem is that he spells it with an apostrophe, because this alleged writer does not fucking know punctuation.